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DataSage’s Alpha Male Guide to Meeting Women (JULY UPDATE!!)

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Mack27
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24 Mar 2011, 8:40 pm

Quote:
Few comments: (Cruel facts)

STEP 1&2:

Only works, if you know exactly what you are doing. Don't try to be too original and remember that desperation shines far. Politeness and strategy are huge help.

Example: When I still lived in Japan, I once had a tiny local male with glasses starting to follow me on my way back to my place, trying desperately to converse to me in English. E.g. He pointed out couple of buildings next to me "This is the police station, this is the fire station". My grumpy answer was in fluent Japanese: "I know, I live here". Then he would suddenly jump in front of me, close his eyes, throw his arms on his sides and shout: "KISS ME!!"

Not impressive at all...

STEP 3:

It makes a huge difference whether she likes you or not. If your company is clearly not appreciated, show her enough courtesy to let her be and accept your defeat on this round. It is not appreciated, if you annoy her just for fun. You think: What do I have to lose? She thinks: Why does he have to come and ruin my day?

STEP 4:

Always put the girl in the pedestal.

Unless you are a truly spectacular, amazing Adonis, she is not going to do that for you without eventually following your example. You approached her with interest, she knows she can do better, if you don't treat her with commitment. In an ideal relationship both participants cherish each other, but that requires time and patience. Do not be that arrogant that you approach a girl and start demanding worshipping. Statistically, there are more men than women around, by the way.

STEP 5:

Only with moderation. Too much dominance or "pushing" is certainly not appreciated, neither is an attempt from you to see all of her cards without showing her yours. Push her buttons too much and you have her flaming in quiet frustration.

STEP 6:

Make sure your jokes actually ARE funny, and take notice that the laughter is not just plain politeness and that the phone number is genuine. Teasing only works with small portion of girls (and only with VERY moderate use) and you still run a very high risk of getting slapped. Even, if she does smile, it doesn't mean she's impressed. It is a very likely scenario that she's being polite to a stranger and thinking by herself "What a jerk...".

STEP 7:

Don't try, it's not appreciated. Women believe good listening skills are one of the greatest assets a man can have and they need to feel respected and appreciated. Be too blunt and insensitive and they'll walk away fast. Again, they know they can do much better.




I still have trouble with this "better" thing. They can't do much "better" because nobody is better than anybody. If they know they can do much better than they are delusional. Obviously no one is better than me and obviously I'm not better than anybody. I see things differently, sue me. Thanks for the input though.



MCalavera
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24 Mar 2011, 9:11 pm

queenofinformation wrote:
maybe alpha male is just about being confident in who you are?


Which is why not every male can be an alpha male. If you don't have the genes and lacked the right nurturing environment to be ready to become an alpha male, then forget it.



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24 Mar 2011, 11:46 pm

Mack27 wrote:
Quote:
Few comments: (Cruel facts)

STEP 1&2:

Only works, if you know exactly what you are doing. Don't try to be too original and remember that desperation shines far. Politeness and strategy are huge help.

Example: When I still lived in Japan, I once had a tiny local male with glasses starting to follow me on my way back to my place, trying desperately to converse to me in English. E.g. He pointed out couple of buildings next to me "This is the police station, this is the fire station". My grumpy answer was in fluent Japanese: "I know, I live here". Then he would suddenly jump in front of me, close his eyes, throw his arms on his sides and shout: "KISS ME!!"

Not impressive at all...

STEP 3:

It makes a huge difference whether she likes you or not. If your company is clearly not appreciated, show her enough courtesy to let her be and accept your defeat on this round. It is not appreciated, if you annoy her just for fun. You think: What do I have to lose? She thinks: Why does he have to come and ruin my day?

STEP 4:

Always put the girl in the pedestal.

Unless you are a truly spectacular, amazing Adonis, she is not going to do that for you without eventually following your example. You approached her with interest, she knows she can do better, if you don't treat her with commitment. In an ideal relationship both participants cherish each other, but that requires time and patience. Do not be that arrogant that you approach a girl and start demanding worshipping. Statistically, there are more men than women around, by the way.

STEP 5:

Only with moderation. Too much dominance or "pushing" is certainly not appreciated, neither is an attempt from you to see all of her cards without showing her yours. Push her buttons too much and you have her flaming in quiet frustration.

STEP 6:

Make sure your jokes actually ARE funny, and take notice that the laughter is not just plain politeness and that the phone number is genuine. Teasing only works with small portion of girls (and only with VERY moderate use) and you still run a very high risk of getting slapped. Even, if she does smile, it doesn't mean she's impressed. It is a very likely scenario that she's being polite to a stranger and thinking by herself "What a jerk...".

STEP 7:

Don't try, it's not appreciated. Women believe good listening skills are one of the greatest assets a man can have and they need to feel respected and appreciated. Be too blunt and insensitive and they'll walk away fast. Again, they know they can do much better.




I still have trouble with this "better" thing. They can't do much "better" because nobody is better than anybody. If they know they can do much better than they are delusional. Obviously no one is better than me and obviously I'm not better than anybody. I see things differently, sue me. Thanks for the input though.


Well, we can as a fact say, that somebody can be "better" for somebody than another person. On the dating scene, people are seeking "their match", people are not hooking up with the first person they see on the street. Secondly, in reality people are not "equal" when it comes to assets and traits they possess, other person is more aesthetically pleasing, other one is more empathic etc. (Life and human rights issues would be much more simple, if they were equal). Also, if we would take a realistic example of a wife getting regularly beaten up by her husband, surely you wouldn't tell her what he does, that no man is "better" than him. I say she can do much "better". On the dating scenetalking about "better" is more fine tuning, but a certain average exists and there is much less gain for the girl to go below it. Create and economic equation, if you like, it is reality.

Are all the people valuable? Yes. Are all the people different? Yes, and sometimes there's a "mis-match" between the two on some level.



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27 Mar 2011, 4:29 am

Lilya wrote:

STEP 3 – Don’t care whether she likes you or not.
STEP 5 – Control and direct the conversation.
STEP 6 – Make her laugh.
And despite what many girls tell you, they LOVE to be teased, and they love it when guys break their balls (figuratively, heh).


If a guy did any one of these things I'd instantly stop talking to him. Not appealing.


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27 Mar 2011, 12:58 pm

Bethie wrote:
Lilya wrote:

STEP 3 – Don’t care whether she likes you or not.
STEP 5 – Control and direct the conversation.
STEP 6 – Make her laugh.
And despite what many girls tell you, they LOVE to be teased, and they love it when guys break their balls (figuratively, heh).


If a guy did any one of these things I'd instantly stop talking to him. Not appealing.


My point exactly :)



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27 Mar 2011, 4:03 pm

Lilya wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Lilya wrote:

STEP 3 – Don’t care whether she likes you or not.
STEP 5 – Control and direct the conversation.
STEP 6 – Make her laugh.
And despite what many girls tell you, they LOVE to be teased, and they love it when guys break their balls (figuratively, heh).


If a guy did any one of these things I'd instantly stop talking to him. Not appealing.


My point exactly :)


So if he makes you laugh, that's a bad thing?



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27 Mar 2011, 4:26 pm

MCalavera wrote:
Lilya wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Lilya wrote:

STEP 3 – Don’t care whether she likes you or not.
STEP 5 – Control and direct the conversation.
STEP 6 – Make her laugh.
And despite what many girls tell you, they LOVE to be teased, and they love it when guys break their balls (figuratively, heh).


If a guy did any one of these things I'd instantly stop talking to him. Not appealing.


My point exactly :)


So if he makes you laugh, that's a bad thing?


If you manage to crack a clever and sopisticated joke on the exactly correct moment, it's a good thing. If you desperately try to be funny and repeatedly make jokes (especially with bad sense of humour and/or if they are not your forté), it is a major turn off. Good sense of humour is a definite plus, but you need to know when not to bother (and what kind of humour the girl appreciates). I remember one guy who was desperately trying to get my attention and within one hour, made about 50 jokes (seriously) about Homer Simpson. He didn't take any polite (or later much firmer) cues to stay away or stop until I loudly told him "Shut up!" and "Sod off!". A lot of girls can force a smile out of courtesy even on moments when they certainly don't appreciate some jokes.



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27 Mar 2011, 4:32 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cgmIMvgYY0[/youtube]

What are the girls' opinions on the above video.



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27 Mar 2011, 4:57 pm

MCalavera wrote:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cgmIMvgYY0[/youtube]

What are the girls' opinions on the above video.


Aww... He turned into one of the girls :) He runs a very big risk to become a male best friend rather than a lover.

In brief: He makes a silly excuse and starts slowly hitting on the redhead. There are much worse ways to approach somebody, but with a lot of girls that's not really a way to "charm" somebody or introduce yourself as a potential date.

I really disliked:

a) the hat
b) touching
c) too obvious/silly starting line and poor choice of topics
d) teasing
e) cheesy compliments
f) very typical pick-up artist formula, easy to recognize

I liked:

a) his courtesy
b) he was reasonably smooth and natural

Every girl is different, might well be and probably is appealing to few



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28 Mar 2011, 4:26 am

MCalavera wrote:
Lilya wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Lilya wrote:

STEP 3 – Don’t care whether she likes you or not.
STEP 5 – Control and direct the conversation.
STEP 6 – Make her laugh.
And despite what many girls tell you, they LOVE to be teased, and they love it when guys break their balls (figuratively, heh).


If a guy did any one of these things I'd instantly stop talking to him. Not appealing.


My point exactly :)


So if he makes you laugh, that's a bad thing?


Making me laugh wasn't bolded-
I was referring to being teased,
in which case I'd end the conversation.
If he's looking for a masochist who enjoys that kinda thing, I'm not the gal.


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28 Mar 2011, 4:29 am

Lilya wrote:

Aww... He turned into one of the girls :) He runs a very big risk to become a male best friend rather than a lover.


I'd never become something so intimate as "lovers" unless we were best friends first.


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28 Mar 2011, 4:43 am

Bethie wrote:
Lilya wrote:

Aww... He turned into one of the girls :) He runs a very big risk to become a male best friend rather than a lover.


I'd never become something so intimate as "lovers" unless we were best friends first.


For me it's very separate; When I have a good male friend, I wouldn't even think about turning him to a lover and risk a florishing frienship. Personally, in lovers, sexual attraction is very important for me. If somebody doesn't appeal to me in "that kind of way" when I first meet him, it's very unlikely he will ever stand a chance with me.

A lover/partner is much more than a friend on many levels.



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28 Mar 2011, 4:43 am

Lilya wrote:
Always put the girl on the pedestal.

I would say always be nice and polite to the girl, and give her your full attention when on a date.

But don't jump to thinking "she is the one!" when you barely just met her, because that comes across as desperation which is very off putting. That's what people mean when they say "don't put the girl on a pedestal" - she is not necessarily "the one"; if it doesn't work out there are still many others to meet.

Also, "don't put the guy on a pedestal". I have had girls I barely know tell me I am "perfect for them". How could they possibly know that when we've barely talked? It's very off putting and shows lack of social skills. I want to be approached as a fellow human dammit, not as a prize piece of meat to fill the lonely hole in someone's inadequate life. And I'm sure girls feel the same way.


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28 Mar 2011, 5:09 am

DrizzleMan wrote:
Lilya wrote:
DataSage wrote:
Always put the girl on the pedestal.

I would say always be nice and polite to the girl, and give her your full attention when on a date.

But don't jump to thinking "she is the one!" when you barely just met her, because that comes across as desperation which is very off putting. That's what people mean when people say "don't put the girl on a pedestal" - she is not necessarily "the one"; if it doesn't work out there are many others out there.


Also true, but my point was mainly about being nice and polite and giving the full attention on a date, which is something too many (especially young) men forget. I didn't mean a man should be too submissive or desperate to please. I expect that a man who shows interest in a woman and asks her on a date, will be acting like a gentleman and treats his lady well for the night, being polite and considerate for her needs.

Once I was travelling in Shanghai, I visited a club for a drink and a man sat next to me. He would try to converse with me for a very short while, then turn quiet, then call me very sexy and again turn quiet for a long period. He ignored my request to leave and would try to touch my knee. I would guide his hand elsewhere. Then he would give me a bill of his drink and demand payment for his company. I would point out that if my glass wasn't empty already the contents would be on his face right now and left the club.

On the same trip, in Beijing, a perfect gentleman gave me a tour in few local attractions and introduce me to the local cuisine. He would converse very tactfully and politely, open the doors, make clever remarks, give compliments and offer me his arm as we walked. He was very sophisticated, curteous and considerate. In the end of the evening he bought me a red rose and tell me he would wish to see me again. I had very wonderful time with him then and afterwards.

Do I honestly need to tell which person I would (and did) choose?



Last edited by Lilya on 28 Mar 2011, 7:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

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28 Mar 2011, 5:15 am

Bethie wrote:
Lilya wrote:

Aww... He turned into one of the girls :) He runs a very big risk to become a male best friend rather than a lover.


I'd never become something so intimate as "lovers" unless we were best friends first.


Could be to do with the fact that you're a professed asexual. ;)

I'm only joking. Hope you're feeling better now by the way.

And Lilya, thanks for your opinion. Quite insightful.



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28 Mar 2011, 5:44 am

Lilya wrote:
Do I honestly need to tell which person I would (and did) choose?

Obviously, the one who behaves nicely. But nice behavior doesn't mean he put you on a pedestal above all other women. A gentleman is a gentleman because he treats all his dates as special during the date - not because he actually obsesses over a particular woman as "perfect" before getting to know her.


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