How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat?

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Attraction is personal. Sly might find overweight girls to be more attractive than thin or healthy weight range girls.

But your point about codependence on a partner for happiness is a good one.

Yeah, I used to think the same way. I thought I needed a girlfriend to be happy. Than I learned two things. I learned that I can be unhappy with a girlfriend and I learned that I can be happy with or without one.

My thinking was messed up before but there was a positive outcome. The improvements I made in my life such as weight loss and a higher paying job were originally intended to make more attractive to girls yet they ended up being there own rewards.

Yeah, I used to think the same way. I thought I needed a girlfriend to be happy. Than I learned two things. I learned that I can be unhappy with a girlfriend and I learned that I can be happy with or without one.

My thinking was messed up before but there was a positive outcome. The improvements I made in my life such as weight loss and a higher paying job were originally intended to make more attractive to girls yet they ended up being there own rewards.

I'm glad to read this! Learning, changing, growing, progressing, improving.. so, SO, much better than dwelling on the same negative thought patterns that would have continued to get you what you didn't want.

Says the guy with a gf. Let’s talk again after she leaves you. You went back to your old ways when the last left you. You’re now one of the haves, and so you opinions are void when it comes to have nots like myself. Sadly every single guy who gets a gf then thinks they’d be happy without easy said when they don’t have to be in that situation. Same as a rich person saying they’d be find poor. Sure they would.

He’s only of this thought while he has a gf, she’s bringing him happiness. If she leaves him he’ll be sad. Happen with last girl he dated. Someone’s who happy alone doesn’t jump from girl to girl getting depressed in between.

Anyways back to ignoring your posts.

Cat23, in other term, you want a Sugar Daddy and you want to be an old Man's Sugar Baby.

All men will think that of you here even if they won't say it to your face - when we talk in PMs about you, men will surely label you as a Sugar Baby.

You pass the duck test for that.

He’s only of this thought while he has a gf, she’s bringing him happiness. If she leaves him he’ll be sad. Happen with last girl he dated. Someone’s who happy alone doesn’t jump from girl to girl getting depressed in between.

Anyways back to ignoring your posts.

Also, it's normal for people to experience sadness after a breakup. Even happy people have unhappy times.

I think Sly needs to learn that happiness is the result of a single event like getting a girlfriend but the ongoing product of continuous effort, both inside and outside yourself. Happiness isn't a noun, it's a verb. It's something you do.

Ok fair enough, so if I get stupid stupid rich to add to my stupid social skills will I be still seen as a sugar baby? If I have say double his money?

Anyway, ladies...listen... this is something that you should all know about; I am gonna be extremely extremely blunt in this, take notes - especially if you are struggling in dating and you want to increase your chances to make men approach you:

Like how women usually collectively hate men who are sex-seeker and players , we men - in the manosphere, - when we are in a room only men talking without any female presence, and when men talk about women (without female presence again): there's nothing more commonly and collectively hated and despised than the gold-diggers.

And yes, all men - of all sizes, old and young, education levels and classes - no exception. And the ones who would willingly go for such women usually view them as sex-to-money kind of exchange deal.

And there are plenty types of them, the obvious ones, the subtle ones and the ones who claim to be 'pragmatic' but in fact money is more important to them than love.

The older we get, the better we develop skills to recognize them all, and we can smell them by miles.

And like the women who often warn each other about players and sex maniacs, we men also often warn each other from money seekers and gold diggers ie. "hey, don't waste your time with that gal, she is only after money + <little story about a short encounter with her>". This is extremely common.

And men - probably for a good reason and due to cumulative dating experiences - are so quickly judgmental about that and quickly would put a woman in the "gold digger zone" for the slightest sign or vibe of it - in a merciless way. At times unfairly.

For instance if a girl in office talked so excitedly about her weekend date's expensive car - you would see guys subtly rolling eyes to each other, and I can guarantee you that 99% of them would goldigger-zone her for good - and everyone(males) would avoid dating her, at least seriously, like a plague.

Or even if she complains about her bf's low salary, or some WOW reaction to some guy driving expensive car....etc.....any slight sign..... *puff* goldigger zoned, instantly.

I recall an incident, where a newly hired colleague in my previous work office kept talking like for an hour excitedly about her boyfriend's senior engineer position and his parent's big house - and once she left the room , my male colleague was like 'she is a nice girl, but too bad she loves money too much' - and that came from a guy who is a son of a rich famous surgeon; the other guys agreed.

And most men keep constantly vigilant and checking for any gold-digging signs from a woman they're dating, even frequently - my best friend, who was also my coworker, told me how he first kept dropping hints and subtle questions to his gf back then (who's his wife now) like "I am still building my future, and we may live in a tiny house and not in perfect condition, would you accept this" - and watched for her reactions - he watched her reaction when he first picked up with his poorly-condition car too, and he told me that she was unlike all the other girls he dated before and that's why he married her.

In fact, when my previous workplace went bankrupt , she stayed sticked with him for 6 months while he's jobless, despite that she just works as a junior kindergarten teacher, so she doesn't make much. On the other hand, two seniors got divorced just after few month of the bankrupt - despite their wives worked in good positions elsewhere. And yes, it was because of money.

That just to tell you, why we (men) are usually paranoid about this - and I was used to think that these men exaggerate but after getting some dating experience after the age of 30.... hell no, it's not something uncommon, it's not uncommon at all. I understand now why most men are so paranoid about this...."social disease".

And yes, most would label the OP as gold-digger too.

So if you're single and seeking and don't want to be viewed as one, be very careful what you talk about when it comes to money.

PS: I have seen the same phenomena among men in Turkey, and Czech Republic (and among male colleagues there who are of different nationalities: Brits, Italians, Czechs...etc) and - so it's not only limited within some culture.

/ The most non-PC post on WP ever. But this is a reality.

Mmhmm. In other words, "It's about the journey, not the destination." It's about the process, not some end result. If you value & enjoy every moment you can in the steps along the way, you'll be a heck of a lot happier more often than if you're only happy IF you achieve your end goal.

Wow, this got more attention than expected. I haven’t told her anything. She continued to gain weight, but had suddenly decided to go vegan. Maybe that’ll help with the weight loss, if she doesn’t eat all junk food.