"You need to work on yourself!"

Post Reply New Topic

Why, oh why did I not think of that first?

Google is always right.

Its impossible to "work" on yourself if you have 100+ flaws and low iq. You cant fix that and no woman will ever accept me for who i am. Thats how you end up "forever alone".

You can't fix every flaw you have, but everybody has flaws, and most people still date. All you can do is maximise what you're working with, and get the best partner you can from doing so. If women aren't interested in you and you don't improve yourself in any way, women will almost certainly remain disinterested. You remind me very much of a member who used to be on this site called WhiteAsSnow or something like that. Wouldn't surprise me if you were him.

I cant fix any at all, i already tried. and even if i could, fixing 40 of them would not be enough because i would still have 60 flaws.

almost nobody have 100+ flaws. if you find 10 000 guys with that many flaws around the world only 2 of them will ever get a date in their life. its mission impossible.

never had an account on this site.

You should want to fix your flaws for your own benefit, not to obtain a "girlfriend". I can't think of a more degrading philosophy than the latter one. It also sets you up for failure because it's reliant upon someone ELSE for success.

nah just not because of that. i am failure overall not just with females, i cant even get friends or a good job.

How do you dress? Try putting on a well-fitting shirt and some nice, black shoes. That's one thing you can do to improve yourself without needing to be a genius or an Adonis.

i tried that, still looked like s**t.

You'll look better in a shirt than in a t-shirt, though you might still not look great.

My go to suggestion for a standard of what it actually is to work on myself is a book, let's call it bibliotherapy, only less drab and more thrilling.

The Book: The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand

I actually approve of Ayn Rand's ideal of the man as one who "suffices unto himself", as indicated by my signature. I'd steer well clear of her political philosophy though.

Without trying, you just earned a boatload of Awesome Points from me. I’m going to put in a call to Danneskjold Recovery Services on your behalf.

In all seriousness, I always enjoy meeting someone else who likes Ayn Rand.

Good old Ragnar Danneskjold. Honestly, the character I sympathised with most in the novel was Robert Stadler. You know, he was actually based on Manhattan Project physicist Robert Oppenheimer, whom Rand interviewed in the late 40s for a play she was writing on the subject.

It's interesting that Stadler is cast as a villain; she actually, from her notes, seems to have admired Mr. Oppenheimer. She recalled her meeting with him in an interview some years later: "I asked him whether the scientists worked under orders. He looked at me in the way that my best characters would have, and said in a morally indignant tone: 'No one ever gave an order at Los Alamos.'"

For me it was Richard Halley.

Speaking of which...guess what? I sold my first album!! ! Ok, so it was just one person who bought it. But I look at it this way: Because this person (it's someone I know, and NO, not a close relative) valued my work enough to buy it, that $3 plus some change I earned through Bandcamp.com is worth more to me than the millions and millions the big names get in a year without really even trying.

But his reasoning for joining the strike resonated with me, and I see it often--artists commended for their perseverance and FINALLY "making it" only because their long-suffering, NOT the merit of the work itself. I was watching a documentary about a black ballerina, one of the first if not THE first black lady to make it to the top of one of the top companies in the US. There were a number of black celebrities who came to watch her dance some big role, and I remember thinking--"hold up...you're saying you wouldn't have gone to the ballet if it had been anyone else? You're more worried about the color of her skin than the quality of the work itself?" Don't get me wrong, the woman was an amazing dancer. She deserved to be there. But more people were worried about the color of her skin than were actually excited about the ballet. It's not the dancer I'm criticizing. It's those who fail to recognize excellence beyond anything aside from some sort of freak show. I never, EVER want to be a part of that.

Stadler? I so WANT to sympathize with him, but I just can't. Stadler and Dagny were pretty much working on the same side. They both existed in the same sort of artificial bubble propped up by certain assumptions of virtue from other characters. Instead of accepting his powerlessness in the world he lived in, Stadler caved. Dagny was at least willing to fight for principles, and when faced with an assault on her character, she questioned the objective value of what society perceived as her quasi-virginal virtue. She knows an exposure of her sins is a challenge to society's morals She's not a heroine. No ingenue. And she doesn't give up until she realizes there's nothing left to fight for. Stadler is a coward. He's a postmodernist with both feet planted firmly in mid-air. It's hard to even feel sorry for him.

Love hearing that story about Oppenheimer. I'm a big fan of WWII history, nuclear tech, etc. Good stuff.