I don't want to date poor people

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Yes, it does make you a bad person, in fact the worst sort of person. You are an elitist snob. In the real world, I would not even give you the time of day but I am replying to your post as I feel extremely strongly about the entire so called 'social class' thing.

I will acknowledge, accept and respect racial, cultural, sexuality and gender differences because they exist and they also enrich society.

Social class and caste systems, however, I will not. Because we are all equal. Rich or poor, nobody is better than anyone else. I am your social equal and you are mine. Call me 'working class' and I'll let it go. Call me 'lower class' and I'll be in court charged with your murder. Lower than who exactly?

In the expression 'working class' the operative word is 'working' because the other so called 'classes' wouldn't know a good day's work if it stared at them from the mirror.

Class and caste systems are just evil and divisive.

This is a subject on which I have extremely strong views. But feel free to disagree as such is your democratic right.

^^^ TELL IT!

It is perfectly alright if you don't want to date a poor person. Many people don't date people who are ugly, unintelligent, uneducated, unemployed, not very social, not very talkative, unsexy, have certain diseases etc., etc, etc.

All humans work by a what-is-in-it-for-me attitude or use convenient filtering lists etc. These can be very refined or camouflaged as for example helping other people, but they can always be boiled down to this principle. Obviously most human beings are not conscious of this or refuse to accept.

I, however, find it very important that I feel comfortable and pleasantly connected with the woman who I might spend the rest of my life with. So I am looking for a female soul-mate, and for me her financial position is not important.

i wish you luck in your search. I don't really get why a working class person would want to consort with a middle or upper class person, they each have absolutely nothing in common, totally different frames of reference. and if I was middle or upper class, I would be very interested in marrying a working class person, partly out of the old "Pygmalion" impulse, but partly also due to the fact that so many bourgeois people in my experience tend to be stiflingly group-thinking bores, and I would thirst for something different and outside of that.

There are no such things as working class, middle class or upper class. We are all as good as each other.

No, it doesn't make you a bad person. You just acknowledge that that's what you want, whether for financial security reasons or quality of life etc your reasons are your own.

I know someone (NT, female) who prefers to date guys that earn about the same, or more, money than her. Not because she wants their money.. but because she is accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and having $x/disposable income for vacations etc and wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't keep up with her financially as she wouldn't be willing or able to pay their way, too.

It's extremely common that people of similar means pair up, and also that most people want equal or better when it comes to finances.

Personally, I'm indifferent. I'll make my own money and don't need my (hypothetical) partners'. Also, it wouldn't bother me if my partner made a lot less money and I treated them to things in life. But that's me and everyone's different. It's perfectly OK for you not to want to date someone poorer than yourself.

I wish this world agreed with that. it wouldn't be the hellhole it is.

In what way is this not hypocritical? In this situation she would make no more than her partner does, but she wouldn't like to be with a someone like that (who makes no more than she does) herself.

I agree that everyone looks for a partner who makes as much as possible. We live in a capitalistic world. It's stupid to deny that.

That's the point I was trying to make.

Anecdotally and statistically, a man is far more likely to support a woman who makes less than he does than vice-versa.

Men are more likely to accept a woman if she still lives with her parents than vice-versa:

http://www.foxbusiness.com/features/201 ... te-me.html

And of course most people are hypocritical.

Lol they want someone who makes more than them but reject someone who wants the very same thing (someone who makes more than them).

But anyway, this doesn't mean men are better than women.

I've noticed men are shallow in their own way.

Some men tend to be more shallow in regards to looks, and some women tend to be more shallow in regards to income, education level, etc.

The main reason this is a problem is because most aspie men have disabilities that make it harder for us to function as much as an N.T. our age and fulfill most life milestones at the same time as everyone else.

We may move out at a later age, learn to drive, get a job, start studying, etc. all at a later than average age.

This would men aspie men and women would have to date each other because the standards of middle class N.T. people are too high for us to live up to, because most people do want to date someone at the same 'level' as them.

Unfortunately I see even many aspie women here say they would not date an aspie man no successful education and career-wise, and he has to be 'making an effort' to overcome his Asperger's or else they believe if they think he's not trying to overcome it they'll only drag her down because she's trying to overcome her Asperger's herself (even if he is trying to overcome it but is simply struggling to do so more than she is, so she percieves that as meaning he is not making an effort at all when this may well not be the case.)

That's not surprising. An average man makes more than an average woman. But I still find it funny when people say that they're looking for an equal partner. Everyone is looking for the most physically attractive, rich, smart person and we use excuses like chemistry to justify it.

That bit about people looking for "the most physically attractive...." etc. is true to a degree, but it's absolutely not true for everyone! Some of us, even from an early age, know that a person who treats us well, who is kind and of good character, and is a good match in those personal, sometimes indescribable ways, is the person we really want to spend the rest of our lives with. I was lucky enough to find my "soul mate" in college, and we've been together for 28 happy years, so please don't tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about.

BTW, I'm a teacher, and that's my calling, so the chances that any husband of mine would make more was kind of a given, but I never want(ed)to be rich. Financially secure? Yes, but who doesn't want to be comfortable in that sense? He's intelligent, but I didn't choose him for that, and I appreciate the fact that he doesn't lord it over people. He was awkward and gawky back then, and in some ways he still is, but I was able to see beyond that to the wonderful person he is. Yes, many people are unable or unwilling to do that, but to say "everyone" wants "the most attractive," etc. package is too skeptical for me to affirm--and it's simply not true.

^^^What she said. It makes sense. As does Aunt Blabby's most recent remark to me.

She doesn't expect her partner to pay her way for a more luxurious life, but she does want a partner that can at least pay his own way to keep up with the lifestyle she lives. She doesn't want to not take a weekend trip she can afford because her bf cannot - those sorts of things.

Makes me feel like I should just die
I'll never make as much as the lowest paid or unemployed woman

Tell em you're not interested and don't explain why.

As long as they're keeping completely separate budgets I'm fine (more or less) with this.