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Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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funeralxempire
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20 May 2020, 10:15 pm

sly279 wrote:
I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.


Unless you're dating an AIDS patient, that's gonna be a dealbreaker for them even if it's not for you.


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funeralxempire
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20 May 2020, 10:19 pm

cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Also for me and other aspie forever lone men porn is the closest thing to female companionship we’ll ever get. :cry:


I think somebody told me on this forum (funeral empire?) not to conflate dick with companionship.


That was me; I believe I was responding to something about two people who cheated on their LTPs, and basically suggesting that if the relationship wasn't fulfilling enough to cause that behaviour to stop, and if that behaviour also wasn't finding them someone suitable that perhaps they're not actually very skilled at finding someone suitable and basically just willing to settle for whatever lands in their lap for as long as it's there.

You know, unless they were just playing for a high score. :lol:


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sly279
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20 May 2020, 11:16 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.


Unless you're dating an AIDS patient, that's gonna be a dealbreaker for them even if it's not for you.

If they love me they’d be patient and understanding.


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funeralxempire
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20 May 2020, 11:25 pm

sly279 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.


Unless you're dating an AIDS patient, that's gonna be a dealbreaker for them even if it's not for you.

If they love me they’d be patient and understanding.


Those things aren't limitless, everyone eventually makes a CBA. I can speak from experience, I've missed out on opportunities both for hook-ups and for things that might have become more serious relationships by not acting on initiative when I first thought it might be possible. People get bored and frustrated and eventually seek more options if they feel they've been left hanging or if they feel they're being strung along.

Yes, they should be patient and understanding within reason but not beyond that. That's an unreasonable expectation.


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cubedemon6073
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21 May 2020, 12:26 am

Quote:
I studied hard, learned useful skills and talents, worked hard, stayed fit and healthy, and focused on becoming a better person.


As did I.

Quote:
Absolutely not; but that does not mean I didn't try to become a better person.


Agreed! But, who or what defines what that better person is and what that better person is supposed to be? Do I get to define it for myself or do others define it for me?

What exactly is a "better person" in your mind and why would that "better person" be better than what others could define as "better persons?"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lonely_Crowd

As in, do we live in a traditional society, inner directed society or an other directed society?

Who and/or what defines better? And, in your mind what is "better?"

Who and/or what sets the standards? Do I get to set them for myself or do others set them for me?

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Why do that when you can just become a better person?


See above.

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Becoming a better person is not the same as selling your soul.  Besides, finding that one woman who makes my life worth living has made all of the difference to me!

:D Have a nice day!


Again, see above



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21 May 2020, 2:38 am

sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Also for me and other aspie forever lone men porn is the closest thing to female companionship we’ll ever get. :cry:


I think somebody told me on this forum (funeral empire?) not to conflate dick with companionship.

Ok my advice is coming from an NT brain and its sometimes flawed by the error of approximations and not absolutes so I'll try again.

If you live in a part of the US where there's limited options in meeting women face to face then make use of online forums. The females online here on WP are friendly and I think you should just start with making friends first. Dick comes later.

On another matter marriage/long term relationships doesn't mean endless nights of sex. Sex is great at first but then couples start to cool off. I've been married for 18 yrs and the last 14 of those I've been living like a monk.

So don't let sex be the overarching concern (its largely over-rated), be friends first and if sex happens its a bonus.


I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.


So you don't masturbate to porn?


That’s different then actual sex.


I'll defer to funeralempire's response...sex is a mutual need and it will be a dealbreaker unless the girl is asexual



funeralxempire
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21 May 2020, 2:48 am

cyberdad wrote:
I'll defer to funeralempire's response...sex is a mutual need and it will be a dealbreaker unless the girl is asexual


For what it's worth, I'd prefer fxe over forgetting the x. :oops:


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21 May 2020, 2:56 am

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I dont know if I’d have sex if I was in a relationship. So I’m not just after sex.


Unless you're dating an AIDS patient, that's gonna be a dealbreaker for them even if it's not for you.

If they love me they’d be patient and understanding.


Those things aren't limitless, everyone eventually makes a CBA. I can speak from experience, I've missed out on opportunities both for hook-ups and for things that might have become more serious relationships by not acting on initiative when I first thought it might be possible. People get bored and frustrated and eventually seek more options if they feel they've been left hanging or if they feel they're being strung along.

Yes, they should be patient and understanding within reason but not beyond that. That's an unreasonable expectation.

If a woman was sexual abused or raped I’m sure the man dating her would be expected to be patient and understanding why shouldn’t the same go for men.

But it doesn’t matter as due to my job status I’ll never be in such a situation.


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funeralxempire
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21 May 2020, 3:01 am

sly279 wrote:
If a woman was sexual abused or raped I’m sure the man dating her would be expected to be patient and understanding why shouldn’t the same go for men.


It would be a deal-breaker eventually whether we're discussing men or women and whether their preference is men or women. They should be patient and understanding within reason but not beyond that. There is a point at which it becomes an unreasonable expectation. Sometimes relationships don't work out and it's better for the involved parties to realize that and move on.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


sly279
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21 May 2020, 3:04 am

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
If a woman was sexual abused or raped I’m sure the man dating her would be expected to be patient and understanding why shouldn’t the same go for men.


It would be a deal-breaker eventually whether we're discussing men or women and whether their preference is men or women. They should be patient and understanding within reason but not beyond that. There is a point at which it becomes an unreasonable expectation. Sometimes relationships don't work out and it's better for the involved parties to realize that and move on.

If they can’t week weeks or few months then they don’t love the other person.

There’s plenty of men and women who wait years in relationship until married to have sex.

Most women I’ve seen on dating site say they don’t want to have sex for 6 months of dating. They want a relationship not f**k buddy


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funeralxempire
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21 May 2020, 3:15 am

sly279 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
If a woman was sexual abused or raped I’m sure the man dating her would be expected to be patient and understanding why shouldn’t the same go for men.


It would be a deal-breaker eventually whether we're discussing men or women and whether their preference is men or women. They should be patient and understanding within reason but not beyond that. There is a point at which it becomes an unreasonable expectation. Sometimes relationships don't work out and it's better for the involved parties to realize that and move on.

If they can’t week weeks or few months then they don’t love the other person.

There’s plenty of men and women who wait years in relationship until married to have sex.

Most women I’ve seen on dating site say they don’t want to have sex for 6 months of dating. They want a relationship not f**k buddy


Everyone has differing boundaries when it comes to how long they feel it is appropriate to wait, but beyond that given social norms a lot of women will state something stricter than they actually intend on following to avoid the appearance of being 'easy'.

If you're part of a cultural group where waiting years is normal it's more likely you'll find partners who consider that reasonable. I can't say I've ever participated in a culture with that as the social norm, thankfully.

I'm not sure why you're trying to debate this with me, changing my mind won't alter social norms.

Also, you don't love somebody after a few weeks so if it's a dealbreaker at that point bfd, life goes on.


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21 May 2020, 3:17 am

sly279 wrote:
Most women I’ve seen on dating site say they don’t want to have sex for 6 months of dating. They want a relationship not f**k buddy


Women always say that. How they respond depends on whom they meet.



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21 May 2020, 3:18 am

I don’t think you’d say this to woman. You’d probably tell her not to be rushed into sex until she’s ready, and any guy not willing to wait doesn’t deserve her.


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cyberdad
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21 May 2020, 3:19 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Also, you don't love somebody after a few weeks so if it's a dealbreaker at that point bfd, life goes on.


^^ this some couples fall head over heels after a week.



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21 May 2020, 3:20 am

sly279 wrote:
I don’t think you’d say this to woman. You’d probably tell her not to be rushed into sex until she’s ready, and any guy not willing to wait doesn’t deserve her.


Depends on the girl...nobody will have the same personalty/needs/feelings



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21 May 2020, 3:23 am

sly279 wrote:
I don’t think you’d say this to woman. You’d probably tell her not to be rushed into sex until she’s ready, and any guy not willing to wait doesn’t deserve her.


I'm sure there's some people who would say that. I might say that if she was in high school and my daughter, but that is not the advice I would give an adult, I would tell them to find someone who's compatible in that regard and stop wasting each other's time, they can still be friends if they enjoy each other's company but don't want to f**k.

I think I've got a pretty consistent record on not being a white knight or someone who views women's sexuality as something they need to protect from whatever, I tend to tell people to disregard other's judgments and gain experiences they'll appreciate later on in life.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell