Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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Very true, I know some guys say to me, just ask her out. But if she's not into me she won't give me a polite "no", she'll rebuke me for even asking. I don't blame her because if I was a girl who didn't want a boyfriend or already had a boyfriend, I wouldn't like guys hitting on me all the time either. That's why I don't ask out random girls like some people want me to do.How do I do that?

One doesn't have to go around telling people they are virgins.

It's not like there's a Scarlet V around people's genital area!

What stigma? Nobody has ever criticized me for waiting and pretty much nobody knows anyway. Why would I tell them and who cares? With your attitude, I would call off my upcoming wedding. If anything, she is a bit uncomfortable to know I am NOT a virgin and that my number (4) is higher than hers (2)!


You do it by learning (and failing). It's just like an NES game: you start off thinking it's impossible and after countless hair pulling sessions, you suddenly find it a breeze. For example, if you lean into a girl and she does not move back, that's a good sign. If her pupils dilate, good sign. If she looks VERY quickly at her lips, she probably wants to be kissed. If they seem to cross your path a lot, it's probably not a coincidence. I knew with my Fiancee she was ready to be kissed because she leaned into me while walking and had that 'dreamy' look in her eyes. Part of me wonders how someone with amazing eyesight could have been so blind but another part of me knows by being a late bloomer, I found an absolutely incredible match. We could not have met as teenagers because I would have had the slight problem of being underage!

The "body language" of a girl who is into you varies from girl to girl. There's no universal, idiot-proof way to know if a girl is into you. Or single.

So ask. The worst thing that could possibly happen is that you get a no. Likely a polite one. (If you get an impolite one, well, it's a gift - you're better off not having gone out with a girl who was clearly raised in a barn).

I don't tell them but they know. Remember what Idealist said? Girls can tell. Based on performance level, there's a difference even after the fourth or fifth time. Not only that but guys work it out based on my level of dorkness. And if someone asks (they do) should I lie? They'll be able to tell when I'm lying. If I say it's none of their business they'll then know the answer with absolute certainty.
Precisely! And if two get married and the girl's number is higher than the guys, then the guy would be a bit uncomfortable. It's a two way street. Neither sex wants to feel disadvantaged.I wonder that about myself. Like the girl I dated once who first, started licking her lips and next, started kissing her crucifix. Pretty obvious signs. At the time I suspected she wanted to be kissed but I was so nervous I wanted to know with absolute proof. Such proof doesn't exist and now I'd say it was proven beyond a reasonable doubt. However, she was sat across a four foot wide table from me so how she expected me to kiss her across that gulf I'll never know.

Then there was the girl I dated who sat right next to me on a couch and started poking me. Probably a sign she wants me to do something. I was worried if she didn't want to be kissed/made out with she might get upset. Then she starts crying because I didn't kiss her. Then I get kicked out of her sister's house for neglecting her.

Sigh. Now you see why it's all my fault? I'm gradually becoming less nervous about that stuff. I'm working on it

That's the new girl at work. She's from a different department yet she always finds reasons to hang out with me during and outside of work, sometimes even on the weekend. She sometimes tells me she's about to go to the lunch room and says I can come with her if she likes (not set lunch time so everyone goes when they feel like it).

Yes it sounds like she's into me. Even a blind bat like me can see that but other people in/outside of work have said she has a boyfriend. I don't think she's ever mentioned having a boyfriend herself.The worst thing that can possibly happen is I get in trouble at work. Another thing that could happen is I make it awkward between me and someone I have to sit across from.

Being let down politely isn't so great because instead of saying "no" they say they're busy that day so I'm left wondering if they're not into me and trying to let me down gently or if they are into me and they're genuinly busy that day. Just say no. It's so much less ambiguous

Those are very good signs to look for when I'm on a date and I would also like to know which signs I should look for before asking a girl out.True. All the girls from my past I didn't end up with could have been making way for me to meet an incredible girl. Then again since there's still a strong chance I'll go with whichever girl wants to go with me first I may yet end up with a mediochre girl.

There's this other girl I like who's 18. I'm glad I didn't meet her when I was younger, lol. Yet some people, such as my father and this 22 year old I'm trying to chat up say 18 is too young for me (but isn't 22 also too young for me?)

18 might not be too young for you. It depends upon the maturity level of the 18 year and of you. I've met quite a few mature 18-year-old girls, actually.

Not only that.....it's legal!! !!

If you were 38 and she was 18....then they'd be concerns. But 28 and 18....not so bad in society's eye.

I would never go out with an 18-year-old---but I'm 55! I'd be, truly, a dirty old man!

Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

sh*t, lots of reasons. #1 is that women are the ones who have babies, plus women have lower reproductive capacity and sex drives. So they are wired by Nature herself to be far more picky in their mates.

#2, and this is honestly the greatest tragedy I've ever observed in life, is that the men whom women deem worthy of mating with is determined by their environment. In today's world, this means the culture. This isn't that bad where I live now, but back in the west (the UK and Australia to be exact), the environment has evolved to artificially prop up abusive psychopaths as the men who are the most "worthy" of mating with.

Women will deny this with an indefatigable cunning that is truly awesome, and demoralizing, to behold. I happen to believe that's why this "Fifty Shades of Grey" crap is so insanely popular.

Jesus, what a sick world we live in

Stigmas are for basic people with basic minds. I'd say congrats for holding out as long as you have. It makes absolutely no difference to me. So congratulations.

Nope, nope, nope. Don't beat yourself up over the past. It's done. It's over. You lived your life in the way that was best for you. If other people look down on you for that, f**k 'em. Their opinion doesn't matter. Pushing yourself into something ypu weren't ready for would not have made you feel any better about yourself

Don't look back, just set goals and work towards being who you want to be. Don't let society dictate what it thinks you should be.

I think it's because girls are naturally more attractive and they have more social graces on average.

To answer the threads question: Personally I don't think it is easier for women to get dates. It's hard for everyone, unrequited affection is known to all, especially the unlucky. It's not like all men are desperate and lonely while all women just have to express interest in others and bam they have a date. Not to be evil or mean, but many rejected girls have I left in my wake. It sucks hurting people.

I lived my life in a way that ran counter to my own best interests.Is there a way I can increase my opinion of myself?

This is not so easy because our society says that people who spend too much time in self-congratulation are arrogant. For this reason we learn to avoid self-congratulation which can increase negative self-opinions.I guess but why were some ready at an early age? Am I immature compared to them? Did they possess the same level of maturity, intelligence and work-ethic as teens that I possess now?People say this but a lot of my goals are determined by what society thinks I should be.

The reality I can't escape from is that basing my goals on what society thinks I should be has benefitted me in the past. The most notable example is that my extended family pressured me to get a "proper" job. So I quit my low paying job and got a better job.

This actually benefited me in many ways, not just financially. So how can I say that I shouldn't be what society thinks I should be? If I didn't care about that, I'd be willfully unemployed, sitting in a stinky chair in my mother's house, playing Sim City all day.

I don't know. Maybe a bit of peer pressure to succeed is beneficial.

Well, yes positive peer pressure can be a good thing. Sometimes family and friends really do have our best interests at heart, so you make a good point.

Here's a thing you can be positive about. You have looked back on your life and told us about some positive changes you've made in your life and how you feel those changes have benefitted you. That's good.

Yes it's odd to be told "don't think too much of yourself", but on the other hand be told, "you must have good self esteem". It can seem contradictory, but It's all about balance. Be glad of the good things you do, but don't be blind to the things you can realistically improve. Don't alway be bragging about your achievements, but also don't brush them off like they mean nothing.

What if your achievements are so minor to 90% of the population?