Why are you still single ( one reason)

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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 May 2012, 5:05 am

NicoleG wrote:
Because I haven't cut myself in half yet.

No wait.

Because I have standards.

Really. There's something about having one body builder boyfriend toss me around the room a few times because I dared to bug him about cleaning out his cat box - he was torturing his cat by keeping him locked in a carrier for peeing on his bed, and the cat box hadn't been cleaned in at least a week or two (he later scoffed when I told him he assaulted me - it wasn't assault in his mind because he never hit me 8O ), another pulling a knife because I dared to go to the park with friends against his wishes (I managed to teach this one that pulling a knife on me should have included stabbing me - he ended up more afraid of me than I was of him), another that got way too clingy while still being married yet estranged with his third wife, another requiring me to tell him I loved him or he would go off with another girl he just met, and another that griped about how I cut my f***ing meat and wouldn't answer the phone when the caller ID said it was a telemarketer.

I win at the jackass lottery.

Oh, and then there's the one guy I was considering as a boyfriend until we had our first date, and first night of sex, follow by a marriage proposal so that he could cover me on his insurance. I also met one of his alter personalities (as in, full-on multiple personality disorder). WTF, man?


You are single now because you pick the crappiest guys I've ever heard of.

I had empathy when i read about the first guy....second guy ....it started going down in the third guy...

i ended up wondering what those "standards" of yours really are.



DogsWithoutHorses
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29 May 2012, 5:46 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
NicoleG wrote:
Because I haven't cut myself in half yet.

No wait.

Because I have standards.

Really. There's something about having one body builder boyfriend toss me around the room a few times because I dared to bug him about cleaning out his cat box - he was torturing his cat by keeping him locked in a carrier for peeing on his bed, and the cat box hadn't been cleaned in at least a week or two (he later scoffed when I told him he assaulted me - it wasn't assault in his mind because he never hit me 8O ), another pulling a knife because I dared to go to the park with friends against his wishes (I managed to teach this one that pulling a knife on me should have included stabbing me - he ended up more afraid of me than I was of him), another that got way too clingy while still being married yet estranged with his third wife, another requiring me to tell him I loved him or he would go off with another girl he just met, and another that griped about how I cut my f***ing meat and wouldn't answer the phone when the caller ID said it was a telemarketer.

I win at the jackass lottery.

Oh, and then there's the one guy I was considering as a boyfriend until we had our first date, and first night of sex, follow by a marriage proposal so that he could cover me on his insurance. I also met one of his alter personalities (as in, full-on multiple personality disorder). WTF, man?


You are single now because you pick the crappiest guys I've ever heard of.

I had empathy when i read about the first guy....second guy ....it started going down in the third guy...

i ended up wondering what those "standards" of yours really are.


yeah, that was necessary
not insensitive or pointless at all


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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 May 2012, 5:47 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
NicoleG wrote:
Because I haven't cut myself in half yet.

No wait.

Because I have standards.

Really. There's something about having one body builder boyfriend toss me around the room a few times because I dared to bug him about cleaning out his cat box - he was torturing his cat by keeping him locked in a carrier for peeing on his bed, and the cat box hadn't been cleaned in at least a week or two (he later scoffed when I told him he assaulted me - it wasn't assault in his mind because he never hit me 8O ), another pulling a knife because I dared to go to the park with friends against his wishes (I managed to teach this one that pulling a knife on me should have included stabbing me - he ended up more afraid of me than I was of him), another that got way too clingy while still being married yet estranged with his third wife, another requiring me to tell him I loved him or he would go off with another girl he just met, and another that griped about how I cut my f***ing meat and wouldn't answer the phone when the caller ID said it was a telemarketer.

I win at the jackass lottery.

Oh, and then there's the one guy I was considering as a boyfriend until we had our first date, and first night of sex, follow by a marriage proposal so that he could cover me on his insurance. I also met one of his alter personalities (as in, full-on multiple personality disorder). WTF, man?


You are single now because you pick the crappiest guys I've ever heard of.

I had empathy when i read about the first guy....second guy ....it started going down in the third guy...

i ended up wondering what those "standards" of yours really are.


yeah, that was necessary
not insensitive or pointless at all


Thank you.



NicoleG
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29 May 2012, 7:50 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
NicoleG wrote:
Because I haven't cut myself in half yet.

No wait.

Because I have standards.

Really. There's something about having one body builder boyfriend toss me around the room a few times because I dared to bug him about cleaning out his cat box - he was torturing his cat by keeping him locked in a carrier for peeing on his bed, and the cat box hadn't been cleaned in at least a week or two (he later scoffed when I told him he assaulted me - it wasn't assault in his mind because he never hit me 8O ), another pulling a knife because I dared to go to the park with friends against his wishes (I managed to teach this one that pulling a knife on me should have included stabbing me - he ended up more afraid of me than I was of him), another that got way too clingy while still being married yet estranged with his third wife, another requiring me to tell him I loved him or he would go off with another girl he just met, and another that griped about how I cut my f***ing meat and wouldn't answer the phone when the caller ID said it was a telemarketer.

I win at the jackass lottery.

Oh, and then there's the one guy I was considering as a boyfriend until we had our first date, and first night of sex, follow by a marriage proposal so that he could cover me on his insurance. I also met one of his alter personalities (as in, full-on multiple personality disorder). WTF, man?


You are single now because you pick the crappiest guys I've ever heard of.

I had empathy when i read about the first guy....second guy ....it started going down in the third guy...

i ended up wondering what those "standards" of yours really are.


Judgmental much?

Perhaps if you ASKED me about the guys and their personalities and how they are perceived, I might consider responding. As is, you know absolutely nothing about any of them.



HisDivineMajesty
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29 May 2012, 8:07 am

NicoleG wrote:
Judgmental much?

Perhaps if you ASKED me about the guys and their personalities and how they are perceived, I might consider responding. As is, you know absolutely nothing about any of them.


To be honest, what he says might well be true, and it's worth discussing. If your standards mean you end up with those types not once, not twice, but four times, there's something wrong with your standards. You could tell us more - as it is now, it does look like you're very likely to pick the fine gentlemen who have ever-so-slight aggression issues. If the aggressive/non-aggressive ratio was 1:1 in the full male population, with the actual chance probably lower, chances of you ending up with those types four times randomly would be very low. There's certainly something in your standards so far that exists primarily in the aggressive part of the population.

Please do tell us more, then. Perhaps I'll be able to identify a common denominator.



Kjas
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29 May 2012, 8:27 am

On my own, I don't even really think about this, I'm pretty happy being single. But I get asked fairly consistently by acquaintances why I am still single (including today :roll: ). After giving it some serious thought, I have come up with the following:

I'm really not in a position to be dating right now. I have some life stuff to get in order first before I could even start to consider the idea, at the very least I would prefer to be in the career I want before considering it. Apart from that I think it would take a particular kind of person to put up with me in a relationship and I haven't met many who would be capable of it. I also don't think many guys could put up with my two main special interests for very long.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 May 2012, 8:41 am

NicoleG wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
NicoleG wrote:
Because I haven't cut myself in half yet.

No wait.

Because I have standards.

Really. There's something about having one body builder boyfriend toss me around the room a few times because I dared to bug him about cleaning out his cat box - he was torturing his cat by keeping him locked in a carrier for peeing on his bed, and the cat box hadn't been cleaned in at least a week or two (he later scoffed when I told him he assaulted me - it wasn't assault in his mind because he never hit me 8O ), another pulling a knife because I dared to go to the park with friends against his wishes (I managed to teach this one that pulling a knife on me should have included stabbing me - he ended up more afraid of me than I was of him), another that got way too clingy while still being married yet estranged with his third wife, another requiring me to tell him I loved him or he would go off with another girl he just met, and another that griped about how I cut my f***ing meat and wouldn't answer the phone when the caller ID said it was a telemarketer.

I win at the jackass lottery.

Oh, and then there's the one guy I was considering as a boyfriend until we had our first date, and first night of sex, follow by a marriage proposal so that he could cover me on his insurance. I also met one of his alter personalities (as in, full-on multiple personality disorder). WTF, man?


You are single now because you pick the crappiest guys I've ever heard of.

I had empathy when i read about the first guy....second guy ....it started going down in the third guy...

i ended up wondering what those "standards" of yours really are.


Judgmental much?

Perhaps if you ASKED me about the guys and their personalities and how they are perceived, I might consider responding. As is, you know absolutely nothing about any of them.


What more to ask about a guy on steroids who's violent against you and who tortures a cat like that? or a guy who pulls a knife for silly reasons? or a guy who was probably cheating on his wife?

just based on those, i perceive them as PITIFUL TOTAL JERKS POOR EXCUSES OF MEN .



JanuaryMan
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29 May 2012, 9:24 am

Nicole, what did these guys come across like as people before you got serious with them?
How high were they on the looks scale of 1-10 realistically? And who made the most moves and how soon did you go serious?

If a pattern emerges from that, lessons can be learned. Regardless if lessons should be learned, though, nobody on L&D deserves guys like the ones you had.



NicoleG
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29 May 2012, 11:15 am

Wow. Who knew that the lynch mob was coming to town?

It's really wonderful to see how judgmental and assuming bastards want to turn a list of reasons as to why I broke up with some of my exes into a personal attack against me by deciding I have poor decision making abilities in picking guys in the first place.

No really, I'm quite f*****g tired of the mental abuse, and you boys are just proving the positive.

Jackass Lottery - I still keep coming up a winner, and I didn't even have to go on a date with any of you to get this abuse dished out!



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29 May 2012, 11:23 am

Well, I was being sympathetic and trying to understand things. You wanted us to ask, so I asked, and now I asked you attack full on. The answers I would predict wouldn't be to invalidate anything you've done (is this what you fear me or this mob doing?). If anything it was to see how to avoid partners like that in the future (besides avoiding everyone that's single and male!). I don't think anyone deserves a-hole bf's like that. But hey, I guess my sympathy isn't needed, I'm one of the jackass guys after all in the lynch mob.

Let's just stick to why you, and we (us nasty horrible guys) are single. Well, I'm not now so I will leave this thread to go be a real jackass, to do all that jackassery stuff jackasses do, like the jackass I am.



NicoleG
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29 May 2012, 11:47 am

JanuaryMan wrote:
Well, I was being sympathetic and trying to understand things. You wanted us to ask, so I asked, and now I asked you attack full on. The answers I would predict wouldn't be to invalidate anything you've done (is this what you fear me or this mob doing?). If anything it was to see how to avoid partners like that in the future (besides avoiding everyone that's single and male!). I don't think anyone deserves a-hole bf's like that. But hey, I guess my sympathy isn't needed, I'm one of the jackass guys after all in the lynch mob.

Let's just stick to why you, and we (us nasty horrible guys) are single. Well, I'm not now so I will leave this thread to go be a real jackass, to do all that jackassery stuff jackasses do, like the jackass I am.


JM, I did see that you were being at least somewhat sympathetic, but it's unfortunately being trumped by other factors in the moment. You, Boo and HisDivineMajesty are making the assumption that I am incapable of doing said analyzing myself, and with full knowledge of YEARS of experience with my previous dating partners. I was specifically addressing Boo's assuming arrogance when I said that IF he asked in earnest, instead of assuming that he knows everything there is to know about my previous relationships, then I MIGHT be more willing to respond. Instead he chose an attacking stance which everyone else has rallied behind, based on the assumption that you all know better than I do regarding my past decisions, and that I for some reason need help with this (which I never once asked for in this thread) - hence the mob reference. Making the assumption that I haven't somehow learned from my past is invalidating. You are pre-assuming things, and it's really upsetting me.



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29 May 2012, 12:03 pm

Sorry you find that upsetting, and that it all seems this way. Being single isn't all that bad actually, when you get to avoid another chance and winning said lotto. As far as validation goes I feel true validation of one's self comes from within. You feel you have learned from your past, and quite frankly that's all that matters :) and not the meagre views of some randoms on the Internetz.



NicoleG
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29 May 2012, 1:12 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
Sorry you find that upsetting, and that it all seems this way.


Thanks.

JanuaryMan wrote:
Being single isn't all that bad actually, when you get to avoid another chance and winning said lotto.


Yep. I have not had a boyfriend for the past 7 years. I have dated plenty, but none of my dates have worked out well enough to become boyfriend material for one reason or another, but it typically is because I know what I'm looking for in a life partner and I have yet to find it. Hence, I am single due mostly to my standards.

JanuaryMan wrote:
As far as validation goes I feel true validation of one's self comes from within. You feel you have learned from your past, and quite frankly that's all that matters :) and not the meagre views of some randoms on the Internetz.


Indeed.

Having the past that I have, when I feel I am under attack, even if it is "just someone else's meager view on the Internet," I might not allow that to stand depending on exactly how strong such an attack is and the circumstances surrounding it. This thread is all about people exposing their underbelly and admitting to something that might already be a sore spot for them. Trying to analyze them, be judgmental and assuming, and trying to "fix" someone that hasn't asked for it is a cheap shot, and it's unfortunately quite easy for others to get caught up in such mess, even when they mean no ill intent. It's lynch mob mentality, and I WILL put my foot down on it.



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29 May 2012, 2:40 pm

NicoleG wrote:
Wow. Who knew that the lynch mob was coming to town?

It's really wonderful to see how judgmental and assuming bastards want to turn a list of reasons as to why I broke up with some of my exes into a personal attack against me by deciding I have poor decision making abilities in picking guys in the first place.

No really, I'm quite f***ing tired of the mental abuse, and you boys are just proving the positive.

Jackass Lottery - I still keep coming up a winner, and I didn't even have to go on a date with any of you to get this abuse dished out!


In your previous post you sounded defending the guys (" you know absolutely nothing about any of them." -->your words, or were you referring to unmentioned guys), you know in my previous post I was attacking them , not you, does my criticize of them annoy you?



DogsWithoutHorses
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29 May 2012, 2:43 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
NicoleG wrote:
Wow. Who knew that the lynch mob was coming to town?

It's really wonderful to see how judgmental and assuming bastards want to turn a list of reasons as to why I broke up with some of my exes into a personal attack against me by deciding I have poor decision making abilities in picking guys in the first place.

No really, I'm quite f***ing tired of the mental abuse, and you boys are just proving the positive.

Jackass Lottery - I still keep coming up a winner, and I didn't even have to go on a date with any of you to get this abuse dished out!


In your previous post you sounded defending the guys (" you know absolutely nothing about any of them." -->your words, or were you referring to unmentioned guys), you know in my previous post I was attacking them , not you, does my criticize of them annoy you?


by maligning her judgement and questioning her standards, I can see how that would get annoying


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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 May 2012, 2:53 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
NicoleG wrote:
Wow. Who knew that the lynch mob was coming to town?

It's really wonderful to see how judgmental and assuming bastards want to turn a list of reasons as to why I broke up with some of my exes into a personal attack against me by deciding I have poor decision making abilities in picking guys in the first place.

No really, I'm quite f***ing tired of the mental abuse, and you boys are just proving the positive.

Jackass Lottery - I still keep coming up a winner, and I didn't even have to go on a date with any of you to get this abuse dished out!


In your previous post you sounded defending the guys (" you know absolutely nothing about any of them." -->your words, or were you referring to unmentioned guys), you know in my previous post I was attacking them , not you, does my criticize of them annoy you?


by maligning her judgement and questioning her standards, I can see how that would get annoying


yea, but i couldn't help but to ask her standards.

She said she's single because she has standards, then she mentioned all those guys, so I wondered what are her standards and still wondering.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 May 2012, 2:22 am, edited 1 time in total.