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Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

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RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2018, 5:30 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
Well he doesn't consider me a detractor. Y'all should be more like me.
i think he considers me to be one for some reason :scratch:


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sly279
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19 Nov 2018, 6:26 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
rdos wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
If relationships aren't transactional, then how come "what do you have to offer" and "you need to improve yourself so you have something to offer" are such common phrases in these kinds of discussions? Kind of implying a transaction there. Those are the first things I ever see when a guy complains about being lonely. The idea of simply "connecting" with somebody is rarely brought up.


I think relationships are like transactions for many NTs, and that's also where most of this advice about what can be offered and working on yourself comes from. However, NDs are better off ignoring NTs, as well as their dating culture built on "what can be offered", "boasting" and "working on yourself". And connecting is so much more important than all of this dating culture strangeness.


Trying to find aspie women is a waste of time. They're way too rare, and probably either taken or asexuals.

Or gay. There seem to be a lot of autistics in the LGBT community.

Some have same requirements as nts
Same goes for aspie men. Just cause ones aspie doesn’t mean they won’t be like nts.

I’d wager it’s more likely to find a accepting nt then a another aspie who matches well.



magnetowasright
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19 Nov 2018, 6:27 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Why’s a unemployed woman or retail woman need a middle class man?

Hypergamy


I remember one time when I was checking out of a grocery store, and the cashier was talking to a friend. She was telling her about the man she's dating. She told her friend something around the lines of: "He better have a high paying job!"

I didn't say anything, but the thought that immediately went through my head was: "B!tch, you're a f***ing cashier!"

Some women just think they're entitled to a rich husband who does all the work.


This mentality is extremely common among many women to the extent that it's almost the 'norm', I still encounter such vocalized expectations from women who work in very entry jobs and even from losers, and what's amazing that they say it aloud without any remorse or shame.

Here a recent example of a such genderized expectation: My gf's former best female friend asked my gf to lend her money, when she told her she can't since she has kids , the friend got angry at her and texted her on fb along the lines "why you can't? why do you care? You have a boyfriend now who can pay you and supports you*! !" - a reaction that clearly reflects an entitlement toward men, such entitlement are very DEEPLY INGRAINED in many cultures, my gf is from an East Asian culture, but their culture is not at all different from my local Arab culture when it comes to such gender-based entitlements.

*In reality, I don't support my gf financially for ANYTHING- she has her own job, I have mine, we don't live together, we don't share any cost of living, we are more like FWBs (with mutual caring) than bf/gf. My gf asked me only once to borrow money about a years ago and I made it clear that's it's out of the line and things such as these would ruin our relationship.


Are there many Asian immigrants in Lebanon? Just curious.



sly279
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19 Nov 2018, 6:35 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Well he doesn't consider me a detractor. Y'all should be more like me.
i think he considers me to be one for some reason :scratch:

The reasonson is clear to me



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Nov 2018, 6:43 pm

magnetowasright wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Why’s a unemployed woman or retail woman need a middle class man?

Hypergamy


I remember one time when I was checking out of a grocery store, and the cashier was talking to a friend. She was telling her about the man she's dating. She told her friend something around the lines of: "He better have a high paying job!"

I didn't say anything, but the thought that immediately went through my head was: "B!tch, you're a f***ing cashier!"

Some women just think they're entitled to a rich husband who does all the work.


This mentality is extremely common among many women to the extent that it's almost the 'norm', I still encounter such vocalized expectations from women who work in very entry jobs and even from losers, and what's amazing that they say it aloud without any remorse or shame.

Here a recent example of a such genderized expectation: My gf's former best female friend asked my gf to lend her money, when she told her she can't since she has kids , the friend got angry at her and texted her on fb along the lines "why you can't? why do you care? You have a boyfriend now who can pay you and supports you*! !" - a reaction that clearly reflects an entitlement toward men, such entitlement are very DEEPLY INGRAINED in many cultures, my gf is from an East Asian culture, but their culture is not at all different from my local Arab culture when it comes to such gender-based entitlements.

*In reality, I don't support my gf financially for ANYTHING- she has her own job, I have mine, we don't live together, we don't share any cost of living, we are more like FWBs (with mutual caring) than bf/gf. My gf asked me only once to borrow money about a years ago and I made it clear that's it's out of the line and things such as these would ruin our relationship.


Are there many Asian immigrants in Lebanon? Just curious.


Yes, Filipinos and Thais especially - I don’t recall the figures but there are whole communities of them.



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19 Nov 2018, 6:47 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
It's not that men must always initiate, it's that women seldom do,


Yes, and it's something I learned the hard way. It's also part of the reason why I became clinically depressed in the first place. I wondered why I was never approached first and finding out why increased my anxiety instead of soothing it.

Mark, I honestly believe you can succeed if you take my advice. But I also believe you're not going to get anywhere if you dont change your approach.


If I change my approach, it won't be how my detractors want me to do it which is essentially to tell myself I am "messed up" and put myself away until I am deemed "fit" for society. I don't want them to celebrate. Also, contrary to what my detractor said here, I am not seeing a new therapist and I am not on new medication.

Well you don't consider me a detractor, do you? I know sometimes I might come off as cold but it's only because I genuinely want to see you succeed, and I think with a few changes implemented that you can, but not under your current set of circumstances. Others might consider it a waste of time to continually engage in conversation with you, but if something I say sticks with you and you're able to use it to better your life then I consider repeating similar advice over and over again to be worth it.

I hope one day we'll both be successful. I'm implementing changes in my own life to reap the results that I want and hopefully if I'm successful it might be able to inspire you to do the same.


I don't consider you to be one of my detractors. The ones I consider my detractors are ones who harbor stupid assumptions about me like wanting "margaritas" (Anyone who says that as a way to insult someone needs to be kicked in the face) and claim they want to help me but express contempt for me in other posts such as calling me an "idiot" or "as*hole".



RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2018, 6:51 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Well he doesn't consider me a detractor. Y'all should be more like me.
i think he considers me to be one for some reason :scratch:

The reasonson is clear to me

Becoming I'm successful in dating? Is it envy?


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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19 Nov 2018, 7:07 pm

rdos wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
I think that others have already responded to your suggestion about ND women. But I will repeat for your benefit: ND women are extremely unlikely to encounter, and many of them are asexual.


I don't think so. NDs are 16% of the population, and with about 50% being women, that means 8% are ND women. If you still haven't spotted one, then you obviously don't have a usable "ND" radar. Personally, I see stranger ND women almost every day.


I can't believe the number of guys in this thread complaining about the rarity/practical non-existence of ND women, on a forum full of ND women. They can't even see us when we're metaphorically standing right in front of them. :scratch: :shrug:



kraftiekortie
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19 Nov 2018, 7:14 pm

I never heard that----what's a "margarita?"



RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2018, 7:20 pm

I would like to know too


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sly279
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19 Nov 2018, 7:21 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Well he doesn't consider me a detractor. Y'all should be more like me.
i think he considers me to be one for some reason :scratch:

The reasonson is clear to me

Becoming I'm successful in dating? Is it envy?


How you treat lonely aspies now that you have a gf.



sly279
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19 Nov 2018, 7:25 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
rdos wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
I think that others have already responded to your suggestion about ND women. But I will repeat for your benefit: ND women are extremely unlikely to encounter, and many of them are asexual.


I don't think so. NDs are 16% of the population, and with about 50% being women, that means 8% are ND women. If you still haven't spotted one, then you obviously don't have a usable "ND" radar. Personally, I see stranger ND women almost every day.


I can't believe the number of guys in this thread complaining about the rarity/practical non-existence of ND women, on a forum full of ND women. They can't even see us when we're metaphorically standing right in front of them. :scratch: :shrug:


There’s like what maybe 40 of you here?ean I’ve seen maybe 20 in the areas I read.
And most are in relationships or wouldn’t date a loser aspie man. Compared to the thousands of nt women I’ve seen or met.
No ones saying there aren’t nd women but their a minority. There’s not not a lot of you.
There aren’t a whole lot more nd men. We nd people are a minority.
I haven’t seen anyone say Nd women don’t exist just there’s so few of them it doesn’t matter. Russian women exist but there’s maybe 100 of them in my city. If I limited myself to just Russian women I’d probably have no chance.
Speaking of in my area I’ve never not seen ore met 4 Nd men and 2 Nd women

Actually I did go to a Nd meet up once and there were 17 guys and 3 women.
Doesn’t seem there’s too many nds in my area



RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2018, 7:56 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Well he doesn't consider me a detractor. Y'all should be more like me.
i think he considers me to be one for some reason :scratch:

The reasonson is clear to me

Becoming I'm successful in dating? Is it envy?


How you treat lonely aspies now that you have a gf.

Giving them advice? Telling them their situation isn't hopeless? How awful of me.


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Aspie19828
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19 Nov 2018, 9:24 pm

NTS do not have Autism and they do not understand. NTS are from a position of advantage in regards to social and emotional intelligence that are critical in regards to forming friendships and relationships. Autistics are shunned from society due to their lack of social and emotional intelligence. Female Autistics often can hide emotional and social skills and still form friendships and relationships with NTs. Autistc males do not have the ability to hide their lack of social and emotional intelligence, they are effectively shunned from society and treated as social pariahs.



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19 Nov 2018, 9:39 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
rdos wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
I think that others have already responded to your suggestion about ND women. But I will repeat for your benefit: ND women are extremely unlikely to encounter, and many of them are asexual.


I don't think so. NDs are 16% of the population, and with about 50% being women, that means 8% are ND women. If you still haven't spotted one, then you obviously don't have a usable "ND" radar. Personally, I see stranger ND women almost every day.


I can't believe the number of guys in this thread complaining about the rarity/practical non-existence of ND women, on a forum full of ND women. They can't even see us when we're metaphorically standing right in front of them. :scratch: :shrug:

This is an international forum for the neurodiverse. It's a lot easier to find ND women here than out in the real world, and I've seldom seen any women from Australia here, let alone my city, so it would be near impossible for me to find a partner here. I'm not open to long-distance because you miss out on all the best parts of a relationship.



RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2018, 10:15 pm

:cry: :evil:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:
rdos wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
I think that others have already responded to your suggestion about ND women. But I will repeat for your benefit: ND women are extremely unlikely to encounter, and many of them are asexual.


I don't think so. NDs are 16% of the population, and with about 50% being women, that means 8% are ND women. If you still haven't spotted one, then you obviously don't have a usable "ND" radar. Personally, I see stranger ND women almost every day.


I can't believe the number of guys in this thread complaining about the rarity/practical non-existence of ND women, on a forum full of ND women. They can't even see us when we're metaphorically standing right in front of them. :scratch: :shrug:

This is an international forum for the neurodiverse. It's a lot easier to find ND women here than out in the real world, and I've seldom seen any women from Australia here, let alone my city, so it would be near impossible for me to find a partner here. I'm not open to long-distance because you miss out on all the best parts of a relationship.

Which city? There's lots of aspie girls here in Adelaide. However I usually prefer NT girls.


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