My problem with relationships and age

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I also wish I could redo my college. I went to college at the time when it was just expected of, and I had no idea what I was actually doing. I drifted between majors for years, and settled on communication. At the time journalism felt exciting and I thought my bilingual skills would be useful. But I wish I had focused on a STEM field. My family pushed for me to go into computer science that was the hot thing at the time. But I always preferred natural science to technology. Once I realized I didn't like computer science, I didn't know what to do next. Especially since I was already at a university that didn't have a strong science or engineering programs. I can't go back to get another undergrad degree now because I've already exaughsted my financial aid eligibility and cannot afford to pay for school out of pocket, and I can't qualify for a STEM graduate program without the appropriate undergrad prerequisites.

what it all boils down to, is that this life thing is too much akin to being suddenly thrust upon a stage in front of millions, being shoved an instrument one has never seen or played before, being told to play a song one has never heard before, with every mistake noted.

That's a really good way to put it!

But also since it makes sense for older autistic peopleto date younger people so the maturity advancement lines up better, is it more common for autistic couples to have age gaps?

I read that 8 percent of couples in the US have age disparities. But if that's true, I wonder how much percent of those have an autistic person in the relationship.

It makes sense for people to have relationships with people they’re attracted to—no matter the age difference.

But from the perspective of the younger person, why choose to be with an older autistic person when you can be with someone your own age?



Its more likely that the older person is highly wealthy.

Because some of us care about other things besides age.

I had quite a few older partners when I was younger. In retrospect, it seems likely that most of them were on the autism spectrum. They varied in appearance. Only one could be considered wealthy. Most were definitely not wealthy.

Some of us care more about things like personality, shared interests, and overall compatibility than about a person's superficial demographic features such as age.

And some people are sapiosexuals - your Master's Degree might be a big turn on.

Others have daddy issues.. your age difference might be a big turn on.

Some like physically fit, others physically fat etc etc. Different strokes for different folks. Probably best to just chat up several different girls and go on a few first dates and see what happens. Rinse and repeat until you meet someone you click with.

And still others might just find your educational background to be very interesting, in a non-fetishistic sort of way.

I am concerned that you are just throwing away all the effort that you have put into your master's degree.

Well there are people I know, including myself, who are in relationships where the women are younger so there must be a reason women go for older men, just based on my experiences.

For example, my gf is 16 years younger than me and she went for me. I'm 37 and she's 21. Her friend who is close to the same age as her, has a bf who is 19 years older than her. I also have a female friend who is my age, and her husband is 16 years older than her.

But I'm just saying, don't lose hope, because if I see this happening around me, then it could be a thing.

Because you're not neurtypical. ND women are awesome. The problem is that they are scarce. And the few I do encounter are never single.



Yes. But NTs do not typically have similar personalities or shared interests with aspies, and find other NTs significantly more compatible. And as I said, single ND women are seeming impossible to find.



That sounds like a mental health issue. It wouldn't be right to take advantage of someone like that.

relatively few lucky blessed genetically endowed folks can avoid some compromise one way or another.

What do you mean by this exactly?

most folk don't rate 10s or even 7s, so they have to settle for what/who they can get.

Oh, but are you saying that the OP should compromise more?

i am suggesting as gently as possible, that compromise is unavoidable for the bulk of us here.

And even then, unless she at the absolute very bottom of the barrel, what reason does the other person have to compromise enough to accept me?

So you think I should just settle for some ugly woman with whom I have nothing in common, share no chemistry with whatsoever, whom I find nothing in her physical appearance or personality appealing, and who gaslights and treats me like dirt? Because I already tried that: and she was only interested in me because she was looking for someone vulnerable to her abuse and manipulations, and as soon as I was no longer a convenience to her she tossed me aside.

Other men don't have to compromise. But because, through neither fault nor choice of my own the universe arbitrarily chose me to be born different, I have to settle for the absolute worse of the erst because I'll never be f*****g good enough. But of course that not because I'm lesser; not because I'm inferior, some kind of unlovable goddammit freak.