The importance of looks

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It's interesting that a lot of men struggling with dating tend to listen exclusively to what other men have to say about dating, and nothing to what actual women say. Sounds like asking other patients about what kind of treatment you need when you're sick, rather than the physician ...

Well, when I was posting in the beginning, I had no idea how "dark" later posts had become.

You're all right, man.
I like you actually, because we often see the same views on certain things.

I think women are not hot for looks, or personality.

What they really want is skills.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsiiIa6bs9I

It depends. Over the years the most common female advice I hear is "don't change who you are". But the then that the same female giving advice wouldn't ever date that same man or a male like him. In my experience, women who say "you really are a great guy" "somebody will fall in love with you" are actually not providing help at all.

This makes sense. I had a gf years ago, who didn't like that I was trying to help my brother get laid and didn't seem to like me giving him tips and advice, and she said, just let him be who he is type thing. I then asked her that if she hadn't met me would screw him and she said no, and I said well there ya go.

Tips and advice based upon false premises are poor tips and advice. Especially those based upon social Darwinism. And certain theories about how people only seek “hot” people and reject regular people.

I believe women in abusive relationships have it tougher than men who are fully single, in general.

I feel that I’m denied my freedom in the midst of my marriage (it’s partially my fault, and my relationship isn’t “abusive”).

When one formulates and perpetuates an ideology of victimhood and laments, one falls further and further behind. There’s other criteria for success other than the attainment of romance. That feeling is based upon my experience, not some bullcrap theory.

What about hurtloam?

My best advice is for ppl to develop FRIENDSHIPS rather than "hunt" for a GF.
Friendships can develop further, and friends have friends ad infinitum.
Not rocket surgery.

Yes this is good advice...but...This is a long term strategy that takes several years before you can "harvest" the friends and convert friendship into intimacy.

A lot of the desperate and unattached men on this forum are in their 30s/40s and for them their clock is ticking. First thing that's gone is the opportunity to have kids. If you are male in your 40s then women of similar age aren't in child bearing age anymore.

!	magz wrote:
	The evolution of this thread went very bad. "Who has it worse" and personal picking on members. Closed.