I don't want to date poor people

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auntblabby
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10 Nov 2016, 3:43 am

I_Heart_Unicorns wrote:
Rezdis wrote:
Does this make me a bad person?
I'm middle class and I only want to date people who are middle or upper class. Yet I always seem to have people poorer then me ask me and I feel bad when that is the main reason I don't want to go out with them but it's true.
Also when poor people want to date me how do I brush them off?


How to brush them off? JUST SAY NO.
If you won't go out with poor people, then lucky them.
And has it ever crossed your mind that (a) the people you look down on hate you, (b) the people you look up to hate you?

it's no use, there is no real getting-through to materialistic types.



OliveOilMom
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11 Nov 2016, 3:18 am

A. Necro-thread I see. The OP may not see my post, but I would like to point out a bit of logic about the rich/poor thing. A person who is poor now may not be poor forever, just as a rich person may not be rich forever. Situations change. Class changes. Sometimes you go from one extreme to the other in a year or two because of either good or bad luck.

If you mean social class and not economic class, that's completely different. It's probably more common in the UK than the US but to some people the social class system is very important. There are poor aristocrats and rich commoners, and since the late 1800s they have started inter marrying. Old families lost fortunes and married new money to keep the estates whole. This raised the lower class newly rich to upper class. At least it did in some people's eyes but in others eyes it was still case of a silk purse and a sows ear. Their children were usually viewed as upper class though.

However I don't imagine the OP is in that situation because if they were they would have learned all their life how to recognize other people of their own class and how to keep other classes at arms length. A question for the OP though, if he bothers reading this still, or his sympathisers if there are any; you say you only want to date middle or upper class people and you are middle class yourself. What is inherently special about you that would make you fit for ascension up the social class ladder from middle to upper class, when no one from the lower class is good enough for you? Why should you get to raise your class level but lower classes shouldn't? The middle class has only been around since about the industrial revolution, so was your family upper class and lost their fortunes and we're unable to find a way to recover any of it or were they lower class and worked their way up to middle class? If it's the former then you're a snob without a reason to be, and if it's the latter then you are a hypocrite.

Or maybe you're just a modern day buccaneer.


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Outrider
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11 Nov 2016, 6:46 am

Probably because there's a high correlation between social class and economic class.

For example, 'poor' people who have less income than the 'average' person tend to have lower education levels, poorer health, live in poorer living conditions, etc. simply due to the fact that their lack of money means they lack the recourses needed to have as much access as everyone else to these things in the first place.

Likewise, 'rich' people who have the money to afford the best education, healthcare, living conditions, etc. that money can buy will just so happen to have better levels of education, health, etc.

You don't need to tell me there's exceptions, though - in fact I'm one of them.

I'm not like most of my family socially/culturally. I also put a lot more time and effort into myself than a lot of them do (much of my family members are unemployed, high school dropouts, high rates of substance abuse, young pregnancy for the women, untreated mental illness, criminality, poverty, have bad teeth, bad hair, obese, rarely bathe, rarely even wash their hands, etc.).

I can see why OP doesn't want to 'date poor people'.

Most of the non-family girls my age I meet through family are unkempt single mothers at 17-19 and the no-show deadbeat father tends to be an abusive alcoholic currently serving time or better yet evading arrest for several felonies.

Sometimes it's not always about being an uptight, arrogant snob, but also about having some self-respect and standards for yourself instead of scraping the very bottom of the gutter.



kraftiekortie
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11 Nov 2016, 8:06 am

LOL....you speak so American!

Felonies are American serious crimes. In Australia, they're called "indictable offences." I guess felony is in common speech, though.

"Gutter" is a somewhat old-fashioned American term for "street" (as opposed to sidewalk or pavement).

In bowling alleys, if you throw a ball into the "gutter," you get no points because you've knocked down no pins.



auntblabby
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11 Nov 2016, 8:29 am

I don't give a damn if middle-class people look down on me due to poverty, their esteem means nothing.



MamaFrankie5259
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11 Nov 2016, 9:12 am

There are, always have been and always will be economic differences because that is how life is. But there are NO social class differences. We are all equal. I am not socially below you and you are not socially below me. Everyone in the world is on my level.

As the great Eleanor Roosevelt said 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Nov 2016, 9:29 am

You look rich in your suit, Mr. Blabby.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Nov 2016, 11:12 am

I have a feeling that the OP is married now to a rich guy and doesn't give a darn what you are all telling her.



sly279
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11 Nov 2016, 5:14 pm

Outrider wrote:
Probably because there's a high correlation between social class and economic class.

For example, 'poor' people who have less income than the 'average' person tend to have lower education levels, poorer health, live in poorer living conditions, etc. simply due to the fact that their lack of money means they lack the recourses needed to have as much access as everyone else to these things in the first place.

Likewise, 'rich' people who have the money to afford the best education, healthcare, living conditions, etc. that money can buy will just so happen to have better levels of education, health, etc.

You don't need to tell me there's exceptions, though - in fact I'm one of them.

I'm not like most of my family socially/culturally. I also put a lot more time and effort into myself than a lot of them do (much of my family members are unemployed, high school dropouts, high rates of substance abuse, young pregnancy for the women, untreated mental illness, criminality, poverty, have bad teeth, bad hair, obese, rarely bathe, rarely even wash their hands, etc.).

I can see why OP doesn't want to 'date poor people'.

Most of the non-family girls my age I meet through family are unkempt single mothers at 17-19 and the no-show deadbeat father tends to be an abusive alcoholic currently serving time or better yet evading arrest for several felonies.

Sometimes it's not always about being an uptight, arrogant snob, but also about having some self-respect and standards for yourself instead of scraping the very bottom of the gutter.

:cry:



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12 Nov 2016, 2:31 am

Outrider wrote:
Probably because there's a high correlation between social class and economic class.

For example, 'poor' people who have less income than the 'average' person tend to have lower education levels, poorer health, live in poorer living conditions, etc. simply due to the fact that their lack of money means they lack the recourses needed to have as much access as everyone else to these things in the first place.

Likewise, 'rich' people who have the money to afford the best education, healthcare, living conditions, etc. that money can buy will just so happen to have better levels of education, health, etc.

You don't need to tell me there's exceptions, though - in fact I'm one of them.

I'm not like most of my family socially/culturally. I also put a lot more time and effort into myself than a lot of them do (much of my family members are unemployed, high school dropouts, high rates of substance abuse, young pregnancy for the women, untreated mental illness, criminality, poverty, have bad teeth, bad hair, obese, rarely bathe, rarely even wash their hands, etc.).

I can see why OP doesn't want to 'date poor people'.

Most of the non-family girls my age I meet through family are unkempt single mothers at 17-19 and the no-show deadbeat father tends to be an abusive alcoholic currently serving time or better yet evading arrest for several felonies.

Sometimes it's not always about being an uptight, arrogant snob, but also about having some self-respect and standards for yourself instead of scraping the very bottom of the gutter.


I can agree with this.

I wouldn't date someone that was all those negatives listed. I'd prefer someone hygienic, in good health, not a substance abuser etc. However, I couldn't possibly care less about how much disposable income they have. If they work a job that allows them to pay their rent and buy groceries and that's about it for now, so be it. It doesn't bother me one bit.

It doesn't bother me to spend a bit of money when we go out if they can't afford to pay. Besides, I like being able to treat them to something & being a bit more of a "provider" type. Plus I typically go out with people a fair bit younger than myself, and they're "not supposed to" have any money yet anyways, so it comes with the territory and is all good by me.


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auntblabby
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12 Nov 2016, 5:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
You look rich in your suit, Mr. Blabby.

thank you, my good man! :flower: :heart: and you look intelligent and with-it in your sports jacket as well :wtg:



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13 Nov 2016, 4:02 pm

MamaFrankie5259 wrote:
Outrider and Kim, you speak a lot of sense.

But I object to the expression 'lower class' as it implies inferiority. This is how revolutions and wars begin.

I will accept the expression 'working class' as it implies that the people of said section of society do actually work for a living. But 'lower' class is a definite no.

And I refuse to curtsey before Royalty (in fact I would refuse to be even presented to them). Neither will I accept being referred to as a 'subject' of the monarch as this implies subservience. I am me, I am Agnetha, I am my own person and I am subservient to nobody.

Yes, financial differences do exist, always have and always will. But nobody is lower in social status because of it.


A lot of substance to reply to in this post.

IMO, lower class IS inferior. I would not date someone who acted in "lower class" ways - even if they had a Million dollars.

I do not equate working class with lower class. Working class people (like myself) work to sustain & improve ourselves, but we're not lower class. Lower class, to me, is defined by behaviour more than anything. How you act, how you speak, how you treat others, by the things you do with your time, by the way you think. etc.

I don't bow to "royalty," either. I may respectfully address them or w/e, but I do not place them up on a pedestal as if they're someone no longer human but some sort of overlord. I treat other wealthy people of "status," the same way, too, and IMO that's what some of them like about me. I stand there in my tattered work jeans with dirty hands from my day's work and crack the same jokes with people who's net worth exceeds $100M as I do with my coworkers & they get an honest to God *real* laugh out of it. I joke with their kids, too. Others seem to fear interacting with people who have money & tend to "walk on eggshells" around them. F that, they're just as human as I am & I couldn't care less about the fact that they've made more money than I have so far. I may still make mine yet, maybe not, but I'm still going to treat people as people regardless of their current financial state. It's worked well for me so far & I do not see that changing even as my own wealth slowly increases. I'm still going to hang out with my poor friends at the beach & I'll crack a joke with the rich folk when I see them. I can't help but think this is an ASD trait of mine, or at least influenced by it - and it's a positive one that serves me well. I like it.

Financial differences do exist. I believe there is a class correlation, but not always. I believe that it's because of some peoples' thinking & actions that are "lower class," that they remain poor & in a constant state of survival vs. wealthy & surrounded by abundance. However, there can be some very classy souls out there who don't have two cents to rub together and that's just fine, too. I could meet someone at the beach someday and think they were an absolutely terrific person, fit, healthy, good looking, very nice and friendly to all, generous with what they have to give, positive in their interactions with others.. and then find out they don't even own a single scrap of clothing because they have no money. (It's a nude beach, after all, where everyone is on the same universal playing field - the people that hang out naked in the Sun there range from University Professors to business owners to homeless kids & I love every textile class-free moment of it.) Money doesn't dictate class, as there are many classless wealthy people who act arrogant & disconnected from the working class.. but sometimes class dictates how much money you have; ie if you act low class, you're going to get the financial life of a low class person and remain in poverty.


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14 Nov 2016, 9:10 am

A brilliant post, Goldfish.


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05 Dec 2016, 12:50 am

auntblabby wrote:
I don't give a damn if middle-class people look down on me due to poverty, their esteem means nothing.


Why would they look down on you because of money? Most of those people look down on folks they suspect of being trashy or those who its obvious they are trashy. Do you think you fit into that category? I don't think you do. And don't say that they would think you did because they have money and you don't, because that's not how most folks judge although there is a dent size percentage who do.


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