Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

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Aspie19828
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19 Nov 2018, 10:47 pm

Whitewashing does not do anything for people with Autism. Autistics are the way we are and are fixed in their state of mind. Autistic male brains can not be rewired and therapy and medication are part of the problem not the solution.
Autism is a lifelong disability and if you do not have it you will not understand.
Autistics are often shunned from employment, i have had to get by on menial jobs way beneath me, family support and welfare. I managed to graduate from college, but it was a waste of time like it is for many people including NTs. I just went to college classes and back home and no social interactions besides having to work in groups for assignments that I found challenging.

RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2018, 11:48 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:

You're shooting yourself in the foot looking at people this way, it's a big reason why incels are as unhappy and lonely as they are. They think about people all wrong and so their interactions with people go wrong and they fail to make any deep connections because they keep everyone at arms length with these ridiculous ideas about people's "market value" and sexist gender roles like men must always approach and chase women.

It's not that men must always initiate, it's that women seldom do, so if I want a relationship and no one initiates anything with me, my only option is to take the initiative. As for your contention with the concept of sexual market value, you're allowed to believe that, but the way I see it every relationship, friendship, and work relationship is transactional in nature. There's give and take, and if you have nothing to give you're going to be overlooked. If you disagree, explain the logic behind why.

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:

But by all means, continue to ignore people who tell you this and keep beating your head against that brick wall and crying into the abyss about "Why doesn't it work? Why aren't women attracted to me?" Since that seems to be more satisfying to most incels than actually trying something that might work.

I already have a pretty good idea of why women aren't attracted to me, and I'm taking steps to rectify the things that hinder my chances with women, for instance my weight and physique are not only likely not attractive to most women, but I dont like them either, so I'm limiting my intake of junk food and trying to get more exercise into my life. But sure, I'm not trying something that might work.

It's good that you're trying to take better care of yourself and that will surely increase your chances, but you should be aware that keeping the mindset of all human interaction being transactional is going to be a problem for a lot of women and decreases your chances. Why not work on your perspective too, try to be less negative about humanity, if that can increase your chances as well?

I don't know how to explain to you why I believe that all human interaction is not transactional. I don't even know how to explain to you how my relationship with my pets isn't transactional. It's not about exhanging goods or information, it's about coexisting with them. Same to be said about friends and loved ones--yes we support each other and there is "give and take" in that, but it's not transactional in nature. It's about coexisting. There is something about the connection you make with someone when you are on the same wavelength that can't be explained in terms of transactions. It affirms your very existence in a way no transaction of goods or services can. When you share mental and emotional space with other people, it feeds your spirit in a way that is not a giving or a taking but rather a lifting up. I don't know how else to word it to explain my "logic", because it's esoteric and I don't know how logic in general can be applied to human interaction.

I really struggle to understand this transactional mindset, so it's hard for me to explain what it's like not to feel that way about relationships.

If relationships aren't transactional, then how come "what do you have to offer" and "you need to improve yourself so you have something to offer" are such common phrases in these kinds of discussions? Kind of implying a transaction there. Those are the first things I ever see when a guy complains about being lonely. The idea of simply "connecting" with somebody is rarely brought up.

Starbuck never commented on this. Perhaps that means she found nothing therein to object to.

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RetroGamer87
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19 Nov 2018, 11:52 pm

Unfortunately no one is more bigoted against incels than incels themselves. They have declared that they are hopeless and can never enter into a relationship.

If incels were not so bigoted against themselves they would never give up on themselves. If they got rejected by ten thousand girls, they would ask out ten thousand and one.

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Aspie19828
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20 Nov 2018, 12:23 am

Two clear groups on here: The dreamers and the realists. The dreamers pushing cope and false hope and weak advice like: be yourself, improve yourself, chin up, keep trying and other empty advice that leads no where. Then we have the realists the enlightened ones that understand how the world works and have accepted that no matter what they say or do it will make no difference. The realists have more time to live their lives: career/interests/hobbies that they want to do and have nothing standing in their way.

Last edited by Aspie19828 on 20 Nov 2018, 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Aspie19828
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20 Nov 2018, 12:52 am

No one with a sound mind bothers asking out ten thousand, that is a complete waste of time. There are better things to do with life: work, hobbies/interests than waste time being constantly rejected. The rejected guy faces: public humiliation or getting beat up by the white knight orbiters that may take offence or face criminal conviction for sexual harassment. A NTs experience is a lot easier than Autistics and the NT can not advice the Autistic. Social skills can not be learned, they are instinctive. It is not like learning a language or a skill.

Autistic males have low social and emotional intelligence and stuck with the mindset of a teenager. This is not compatible with dating adult females that have higher social and emotional intelligence. It is all about social and emotional intelligence in regards to compatibility in dating and romance. From a survival perspective for an Autistic male it is better to play a no risk game and give up on dating. No risk = no dates, it is safe!

Sabreclaw
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20 Nov 2018, 2:02 am

Aspie19828 wrote:

I'm a realist and I just want to kill myself. I only work because I have to support my family.

RetroGamer87
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20 Nov 2018, 2:24 am

Aspie19828 wrote:

No one with a sound mind bothers asking out ten thousand, that is a complete waste of time.

Then call me crazy, I probably asked out more. Of course I mean on dating sites. It takes a minute to send a message on a dating site. Message ten girls per day each day for three years and you have your ten thousand. That's what I did. For years. I didn't give up after my first rejection. I kept going.

Aspie19828 wrote:

Autistic males have low social and emotional intelligence and stuck with the mindset of a teenager.

So do I. Fortunately a lot of women in their late 20s and early 30s also have the mindset of a teenager. That puts them on my level.

Aspie19828 wrote:

From a survival perspective for an Autistic male it is better to play a no risk game and give up on dating. No risk = no dates, it is safe!

I never risked anything. When I failed, I ended up alone. But that was no different from how I started so it was no loss overall.

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goldfish21
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20 Nov 2018, 2:34 am

Aspie19828 wrote:

NTS do not have Autism and they do not understand. NTS are from a position of advantage in regards to social and emotional intelligence that are critical in regards to forming friendships and relationships. Autistics are shunned from society due to their lack of social and emotional intelligence. Female Autistics often can hide emotional and social skills and still form friendships and relationships with NTs. Autistc males do not have the ability to hide their lack of social and emotional intelligence, they are effectively shunned from society and treated as social pariahs.

If you hate your symptoms so badly, why don't you treat them?

*shrug* I'll never understand why people here complain, complain, complain that they can't stand abc and xyz symptom and how they affect their life, yet they're unwilling to consider treating them and seeing if they feel better.

To each their own, I suppose.

I made my choice over 5 years ago & have less than zero regrets about it. Life is night and day better in every way.

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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Sabreclaw
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20 Nov 2018, 2:35 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Aspie19828 wrote:

From a survival perspective for an Autistic male it is better to play a no risk game and give up on dating. No risk = no dates, it is safe!

I never risked anything. When I failed, I ended up alone. But that was no different from how I started so it was no loss overall.

If you say the wrong thing to the wrong person it could end up on one of those reddit threads, immortalizing you as a complete prat. Then there's always risk of it showing up to haunt you in life.

goldfish21
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20 Nov 2018, 2:36 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Aspie19828 wrote:

No one with a sound mind bothers asking out ten thousand, that is a complete waste of time.

Then call me crazy, I probably asked out more. Of course I mean on dating sites. It takes a minute to send a message on a dating site. Message ten girls per day each day for three years and you have your ten thousand. That's what I did. For years. I didn't give up after my first rejection. I kept going.

Aspie19828 wrote:

Autistic males have low social and emotional intelligence and stuck with the mindset of a teenager.

So do I. Fortunately a lot of women in their late 20s and early 30s also have the mindset of a teenager. That puts them on my level.

Aspie19828 wrote:

From a survival perspective for an Autistic male it is better to play a no risk game and give up on dating. No risk = no dates, it is safe!

I never risked anything. When I failed, I ended up alone. But that was no different from how I started so it was no loss overall.

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for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Aspie19828
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20 Nov 2018, 3:16 am

Negative mindset pushed by my father through neglect, abuse and told I am useless, worthless and never amount to anything. Then reenforced by bullying at school sowed the seeds of my negative mindset of the Sky is Falling! I never overcame my past trauma Therapy did not work, the past lead to more social rejection/failure. The 40 year old virgin Movie is definitely sounding like my life story but no where near as comical as depicted in that Hollywood cult hit!

RetroGamer87
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20 Nov 2018, 3:52 am

If you're life is like The 40 Year Old Virgin that might not be so bad. Remember that movie ends with the virgin getting laid. Also he gets married.

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auntblabby
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20 Nov 2018, 4:03 am

he [his character] was one of the lotto winners of life. YMMV.

Mona Pereth
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20 Nov 2018, 4:25 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

If you say the wrong thing to the wrong person it could end up on one of those reddit threads, immortalizing you as a complete prat. Then there's always risk of it showing up to haunt you in life.

I just now replied here, in the separate thread Online Dating.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Nov 2018, 7:31 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Aspie19828 wrote:

From a survival perspective for an Autistic male it is better to play a no risk game and give up on dating. No risk = no dates, it is safe!

I never risked anything. When I failed, I ended up alone. But that was no different from how I started so it was no loss overall.

If you say the wrong thing to the wrong person it could end up on one of those reddit threads, immortalizing you as a complete prat. Then there's always risk of it showing up to haunt you in life.

There's a reddit section that mocks such stuff? Which reddit?

RetroGamer87
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20 Nov 2018, 7:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Sabreclaw wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Aspie19828 wrote:

From a survival perspective for an Autistic male it is better to play a no risk game and give up on dating. No risk = no dates, it is safe!

I never risked anything. When I failed, I ended up alone. But that was no different from how I started so it was no loss overall.

If you say the wrong thing to the wrong person it could end up on one of those reddit threads, immortalizing you as a complete prat. Then there's always risk of it showing up to haunt you in life.

There's a reddit section that mocks such stuff? Which reddit?

r/inceltears

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