My gf seems to be bothered that I am 'white and privileged'.

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This thread must be at the point where it deserves its own forum.

You gotta hand it to ironpony, he now has a 24-7 relationship counselling service on call

I'm... shocked.
I thought that after leaving the Chinese Internet, I would not see certain kinds of opinions anymore.
It seems I was wrong.

What sort of "opinions"?

People are people-----regardless of where you are located.

Just, very, patriarchal.
It seems that our cultural differences are not as great as I expected.

enjoy this moment of self expression while it lasts pepe

Well I do care about my gf and want to understand her so when I ask this I do not mean this as an insult to her at all, but just describing her politics, but it seems that she is quite thin skinned and prudish sometimes in her beliefs.

But I wonder, why would a person choose to be that way? Is there any benefits to that in life, or any pay off by being that way?

I may get flamed for this, but this is my take... Morgan Freeman is one of my favorite actors. Very smart man as far as I'm concerned. A 60 Minutes reporter asked him how to get rid of racism. He replied, "Stop talking about it. I'm going to stop calling you a white man, and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man." BOOM.

Why can't it be that simple? Because of ignorant people who choose to continue ignorance, often the same type of ignorance they claim to be the victim of.

The point I'm trying to make here (and the one I think Mr. Freeman was trying to make), is that if you think of racism and prejudice as a wound, then continuing to bring it up as an issue is like picking at a scab that won't heal. The truth is that ignorant people are everywhere, and they come in all sizes, shapes, colors, genders, religions, and so on.

Prime example, as a taxi driver, I lost count of how many times I've been called racial slurs by folks I'd never seen or met before in my life, just because I was a "white cabbie that came to the wrong hood". One such person started making racial inferences after I started the meter, then tried to put their hands on me after I offered to let them out so they could find another cab. Needless to say, it didn't end well for them. I even had a fellow one night who didn't like my meter rate, so he said, "Man, this cab is for white people", and got out at a traffic light without paying a $6.00 fare.

Both of which are proof positive that racism and prejudice are not a one-way street, they are a six-lane highway, with no need for traffic. But as for OP's post, I say that if your partner continues to put you in this position, to me, it is more or less race-baiting, and it honestly sounds to me like they are only dating you to allay suspicion of their low-key racism, because that is exactly what it sounds like, especially when they bring up the words "white and privileged". When people start playing these games with me, I walk away. It is the only way to save my sanity, and the only way to stop a game you cannot win. Remember the ending of War Games?

Just like War Games, this is just another game in which the only winning move is not to play. No one really wins these kinds of games, but from the sound of it, she will be the one losing out. The GF seems to be looking for an argument or "valid" reason to end the relationship by making you out to be the bad guy.

And that is exactly what I have found to be the case most often, is that people who stir up racial issues are often doing it to hide their own prejudices. And even if that is not the case here, there's another point to be made here. I don't like being judged for others' actions based on my race, any more than anyone else likes being judged on their intentions based on the same. It's no less racist to presume a person is racist because they are a particular race than it is to presume that another person is likely to harm you because they are a particular race. It's a hypocrisy of the highest order.

Let's be real here. Blood is red no matter what anyone looks like, and none of us can live without it. If you needed blood to keep you alive on an operating table, or a donor organ to cure you of a disease, would you give a damn that the person who donated it doesn't look like you? I certainly wouldn't. It honestly sounds like your gf is the one who has the problem.

Just because you choose not to engage every social issue that crosses your radar or happen to laugh at this joke or that joke (especially when she laughed at it too), does not make you a racist, but it certainly sounds like she is trying to make it look that way. I feel that any interaction under such extremes, especially in a double-standard setting where she calls you out for laughing at the same thing she laughed at, seems more like bondage than a healthy relationship.

My advice, walk, or tell her she is free to date others. She may try to make it seem racial, but as I said, ignorant people are everywhere, and you'll never change the way they choose to think. No offense intended, but there is no way you will be truly content in this relationship with this kind of henpecking. And that's exactly what it is.

No offense to the ladies here, but too many women really do have a tendency to be controlling under the pretense that their partner is somehow subject to their bidding, or treat their partner (particularly with men) like a conquest, and that's not at all how a relationship is supposed to work. I'll date, even marry anyone who sees me as an equal, but I just don't see that here. Being on the spectrum is complicated enough without drama like this.

Robin Williams -- another very smart man, said, "I used to think that being alone was the worst thing in the world. It's not. The worst thing is being with people who make you FEEL alone." I'm no expert, but I'd say that's exactly where OP is.

_________________
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I don't know how to act my age, I've never been this old before. Which begs the question....
Since ASD means various parts of the brain stop developing at various ages...
Just how the hell am I supposed to know WHICH age to act, anyway?