How many of you are on OKcupid?

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you havent really met the lowest of the low on there until youve encountered smashingmayo.
But yeah, i think you gotta have some pretty tough skin to deal with those forums though.

I am, and it really does not work that well. Women rarely reply. Though it's easily the best dating site. Most of the others expect me to pay $15-$20 a month just to see pictures or message someone, and POF is terrible all around.

I did have one date on OKC but I didn't feel a connection.

One problem I have is I answered hundreds of questions in 2003-04 and I wonder if that's painting an outdated picture of who I am.

I love that!

I just received the following message:

"I just answered 5 of your questions with the absolute opposite answer...Looks like we are not meant to be. Have fun! X"

He's playing hard to get, on a dating site, and before he's even gained your interest. Fail

I've lived a bunch of places in the past few years, and where you live definitely makes the difference in whether 20% or 1% of the profiles are actually halfway potentially suitable. There are a ton of eligible women in NY, they are fit, have well thought out profiles with no spelling or grammatical errors, and are generally doing things with their lives. In Florida, a huge majority are obese, their profiles make them sound mentally ret*d, and they work as retail clerks and complain about it right in their profile. A good fraction of them are also single mothers. In a city of 250,000 there might have been about 5 reasonably eligible ladies on the site and a couple hundred ridiculous ones. It's a world of difference.

I tried OK Cupid for two months and what a complete waste of time it's been! I don't know if it's just where I live but there are only about 30 women in my age group compared to about 200 on eHarmony. I decided to contact all of them unless I could find a good reason not to. I ended up responding to ZERO. There were only two profiles that didn't have any obvious incompatibilities (i.e. smoker, visible tattoos, dislikes children, frequent international traveler despite low income job so either a liar or heavily in debt). In both cases I was turned away by their incredibly nasty attitudes. Essentially, they felt it was a PRIVILEGE you need to earn for you to take them on a date on their terms (and they even say they expect men to pay for everything) as if they were royalty. I was also completely turned away by how they want it both ways: they demand equality in the workplace (which is great) but still expect men to do all the "old fashioned" things like chase after them and pay for everything. News flash: even with my inexperience, I know relationships are a two way street and these women STILL wonder why they run into so many players

Bottom line, online dating is making making me paint all women with an unfair label and giving me a general bad attitude towards women as spoiled rotten with delusional expectations. Spending time off-line has shown me decent, normal women are out there but generally don't use these sites. I've only gotten three emails (from Florida, China and the Philippines) but all three only comment on my height so I will be taking my profile down in a week.

One thing I almost forgot to mention is that of all the hundreds of profiles I have viewed on various dating websites, not one has ever said a word on what they will bring to a relationship or how they can improve your life. There's never a shortage of things they expect from you though!

VERY well put!

I had more results with the small aspie affection site, then with okcupid thus far.

I checked out Aspie Affection a long time ago, but technical and design issues with the site made me want to headbutt my monitor.

Same here. Actual conversations! lol.
If you put in the time with this site there are people who are more likely to respond to you.

Pity there are so few on there that live anywhere close to me! The only one who lives close is the one who likes me the least.

Oh well... I'll just have to leave my suite more often and talk to people.

I'm on OKcupid. Pretty much given up on that stupid website and all dating in general. I guess something on my profile screams out "unconfident" or "nerdy!" or "red flag! stay away!" or something because even if most women there are very shallow, (or some, at least), I am in good shape and it doesn't attract shallow women anyway. Not that I want that at all, but I haven't gotten a PM back or any interest from anyone there for over a year, despite messaging people many, many times. (different people)

It makes me worse actually. It makes me feel flawed as a person. What's wrong with me? What am I dong wrong? I don't even want to know my flaws, i already feel flawed enough with aspergers and body dysmorphia. I guess the lack of confidence shows through the writing, despite my good talent and creativity and intelligent, and curiousity and openess. Just alot of people there seem very superficial, especially around my age (early-mid 20's) unfortunately. Perhaps I'm more mature than them in taht regard.

Our society in my opinion, tends to place way too much empahsis on physical appearance, whether its how in shape you are, your skin tone, make up for women, and somehow erroneiously equates this with success or happiness. It couldn't be further from the truth. I've lost 101 lbs and gone from 30% bodyfat down to 10% , gotten quite lean and muscular in the process, and feel worse now (physically and emotionally) than I did was I was fatter. And the media is wrong. It doesn't matter a thing. What matters is your values as a PERSON. Your intelligent, curiosuity, humor, spontaegeious, all of those traits, depending on who you ask, are different but more important. And this superficiality in our society is a shame, but I guess it reflects the social norms of societies in the United States, perhaps due to the paradox of most of America being overweight.

it's quite odd that despite most of america being overweight (And perhaps I should define overweight as "overfat", technically, I'm overweight, but I have extra muscle mass, so I'm not, actually in good shape) and yet as there seems to be a surprlus of food, a rash of eating disorder develops in most westernized societies, where as some rrural societies there are none, and overweight is valued. Isn't it good in a society that is mostly overweight, where models and such that are admired only make up about 1% of the pouplation, is considered ideal? Do people know that is unrealistic?

I see it all the time now. People make comments, it reflects back to hurtful things but my past, but accepting them can be hard. Oh, people tell me sometimes, even strangers. One time one guy at the grocery store commented, (not trying to brag, just making a point, read further) "Oh man, you look like you workout, you're in really good shape. I'm not trying to be weird or anything, I'm straight, but I want to look like you." this was someone I didn't know who was a bagger at a grocery store.

One time about 5 months ago in the fall i was running to the bank, got there gasping for air as I am not a good runner (although a good biker). A somewhat upscale fancy bank, a formally dressed lady greeted me at the door. I told i went there, ran there, she said, "Oh, it must be easy for you. You're in great shape." And then gave some water bottles. It's weird how people make assumptions about people, overweight (sometimes negatie), or in shape (sometimes positive) that have NOTHING TO DO with physical apperance, other assumptions, "Oh, that person must know what he's doing. He must be smart or successful." It's sad that in this society this, reflects and engrained in our society, indirectly and falsely correlated with these other traits as people make assumptions, is so flawed. this upsets me sometimes. Sorry for the long rant. But it isn't always rosy . when I lost weight I thought my life would be perfect. It isn't/wasn't, it's worse now. Again sorry for being so negative. perhaps i'm cynical. my professor said cynical comes from the greek word "koomah" (sp?) which means dog. Looking down everyone as dogs, "Oh, that person's a dog!" with a negative viewpoint. Perhaps that's what our society does, (sometimes, unfortunately) for very overweight/obese peope, yet regards people in good shape. It isn't this way in asian countries, at least, not as much as here, even though they have westernized (Thanks to the USA).

My profile must be like that too! I probably come across as lacking confidence (even though my profile sounds more like a jock than a nerd). I honestly would like to know what the %@#$# women want because when I changed my profile to fit an "ideal" profile, I went from little interest to none. I'm reminded of Bertrand Russell's quote from 1950 as it's more relevant than ever:

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.

I know the few successful players on dating sites tell me woman are only good to "f*** and chuck" on these sites and tell me they just put whatever the women want to hear. I'm cursed with being honest and respectful I suppose. Again, I get plenty of people who say I'm a great catch, but they are universally much older and married. I've also noticed all the men I know that are eternally single are all great people who treat everyone they meet with respect. They probably would make excellent fathers too and one is VERY well off financially. Like one young woman recently told me: "You think men don't know what women want? Women don't know what women want!"

I highly recommend getting off-line if if you have any interest in gaining confidence or having a positive attitude towards young women. I am honestly shocked by how shallow, egotistical and rude almost all women are on these sites are and the incredible sense of entitlement they possess. I gave up at age 22 because the woman were so immature but 8 years later they are just as bad. For crying out loud, some of these women are in their 30's and STILL haven't grown up and *we* are supposed to be the later bloomers!

Found my bf there.
Had to kiss a few frogs first.
I worked so hard on my profile- almost a shame to delete it.
I hid a bunch of TNG references in it.
That, and my love of philosophy, politics, and study of the human condition.
I also quoted Nietszche and Walt Whitman a few times, I think.

>.>

You could always just save the webpage. That way when you delete it, you will still have the page as a reminder. I keep some old stuff like that for nostalgia purposes.

Now to answer the question of the thread. No, I'm not on OKcupid and doubt I will be. I dislike dating sites in general, just makes the whole process seem a bit forced to an extent. Plus, having to go to lengths to make myself seem pleasing to strangers doesn't appeal to me. Also, due to being male I would most likely have to initiate all contact, and most likely be rejected as woman would most likely have a number of men to choose from.