Slys dating site advice help thread.

Page 39 of 56 [ 884 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42 ... 56 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

27 Jan 2018, 2:18 am

Chronos wrote:

sly279 wrote:

fluffysaurus wrote:

Quote:

Rant/vent

Oh and rent would go up, so would bills. So I’d be poorer then I am now. And each day inching towards a mental meltdown and being locked up in a mental hospital. That’s what no one gets.

We are on housing, and get help paying some bills. When I make more they decrease their aid. So more I make less I actually have. If I worked full time st my work I’d be going into more debt as I’d be paying 250 more a month then I make. So no car.
There’s no situation where I could afford s car unless I got s real good job that pays $30 an hour or more. Student loans is $250 a month, rent is $1100, credit debt takes 15 or 25% of my income once I make over 400 every two weeks. And FYI none of them count each other. So after credit takes their 25% student loans would still expect 250$, hosisingnwill still consider me able to pay the whole rent for our place. I’d be expected to pay all the bills.

I’m getting $177 extra now from ssdi. So I was like yay, I’ll put $50towards my back payments to ssi, then have some left to get haircuts and more food each month, but nope housing will raise our rent cost to cover it or more. When I got this job they raised rent to more then what I bring in with the job. My family increased their payments so thst I able to get the $80 and $40 from working. Otherwise I’d have nothing from working. So I’d have to make a lot from working to over come that all and even think about getting a car.

Quote:

My moms in hud, that’s how we get this place. But hud thinks I make too much as is they raised our rent to over what I make. I make about $145 after taxes and bills. They raised our rent like $200 or so when I got this job. Those aren’t exactly figure but the basic idea. My $900 a month income, is also too much to get food stamps. So I’m left with $80for food a month and only cause my family covered most the rent increase otherwise all my work income would gone to rent. And since food stamps say I make too much I have no food money. See food stamps doesn’t account for housing and housing doesn’t account for food stamps. They don’t communicate or care. Ssa likewise doesn’t communicate or account for either of them. So food is like well yiu make more now so yiu can afford your own food, housing is like you make more now so yiu can afford more housing, ssa is like you make more now so we’ll pay you less,
Then my job is like slow time so cut your ours down,

Anyways hud i dont know I use to qualify but now thud probably say my wooping $900 income is too much. Anyways there’s a 5 year waiting period list and I can’t apply while living with my mom who’s on hud. So I’d have to move out and be homeless for 5 years or so before th yd maybe get me on hud. They aren’t even taking applications anymore. There so many people waiting to get on hud and get a house. The economy is crap.

Atleast I didn’t move in with my friend years ago. He ended up moving to small country town.

Wow, I thought our system was confusing. Have you worked out how much you need to cover all of that including those things you would loose by earning more? For example mine is £740 ($1051) This is less than the government gives but for as long as I get anything from them I will be pushed to work more hours so if I can get near £740 I will be independent which is important because they and I are pulling in different directions due to me being an Aspie and a writer. I'm not even sure which one of those things has convinced them I'm an idiot the most.
If I look for a job that pays £740 (which I am legally required to do) I would be working 25+ hours a week, which from experience means 25-35, that's too much, not of the work but of other people. I am looking for some thing around 16 hours a week and I'm researching things I can do from home on my own to earn the rest of the money. I'd like to get it up to £900 as that would make things a lot more comfortable.

I don't agree about what women expect but since you're convinced I think concentrating on you career would be a good thing as your feelings of self-worth are tied up with it. The fact that you can't see it improving is depressing you (as I believe it would anyone) so how are you limited exactly?

No I haven’t. I’d probably have to make over 2,000 maybe 3,000
Rent alone is around 1,200 a month. Bills are $700-1,000. You know, electric, water, trash, cable/internet. So that already is Up to 2,200. Then there’s the credit debt which is hard as it’d be 1/4ish of whatever I make s more I make more it is. Then the $250 from college loans. And while we’re in dream worl. $400 for car payments and $200 for car insurance. Say $400 at min for gas a month. So I’d need $3,450 a month not including credit debt payments to get my life together. So call it 4,000
I’d have to find a full time job paying $25 an hour to get my life together. With no experience and no college degree in any field. And I can’t get government funding t go to college ever again.
My sister is home care worker and makes $2,000ish. A lot of women are homecare workers or nurses who make the same here. Nursing degrees are big at the community college.

You don’t think most women demand a guy who has a good job, car and his own place aka his life together? How many women do you think would dat an unemployed fat loser with no car ? To most women in the USA, good job, car, and own place is like the bare minimum a guy has to have to be seen as dateable. It’s why they call it having your life together. And it’s not just women but society here that considers that, men call men who don’t have those pathetic losers who need to grow up.

Ugh it’s not my depression. I can’t work full time. I’ve been evaluated tons of times but different people. I just can’t mentally handle it. And it’s not worth having a mental break down going to a institution and losing my human rights. And I’m sure that’d make most if not all women avoid me as being crazy and having been institutionalized are huge red flags. Some aspies just arentncut for normal life’s.
There’s not really any jobs here thst aren’t constant working with others. Pretty much all jobs in my area are customer service jobs. We aren’t a manufacturing area. Every job is about interacting with public or selling stuff to people. The more paid people in offices just do it via phones and internet etc. phones give me huge anxiety and stress so a call center is no go, and we have bunch of them here. On of the major cruise lines has a call center here. Then there’s some company offices too who deal with customer service etc. the only manufacturing or packaging place we did have was Pepsi . Long ago we had Sony but they shipped everything over to China. My uncle use to work for them as security. Other then that it’s lumber, lumber mills, lumber jacks cutting wood. We’ve always been a lumb r town still are. We have bunch of mills And warehouser, I can’t do thst work. Too physical too much anxiety. I had tremors on the way home after orientation. Climbing over running saw blades, talking about the guy who got his skin torn off aliv in the debarker. Oh and fires. I was expected to fight fires for the samempay I get now. One of the mills burnt down right before my orientation. They mostly hire mental disabled people and felons. They wanted me to work bunch of 12 hour shifts back to back. I’m shocked I was able to drive home without wrecking. My family wouldn’t let me go back as I was shaking so much.

You are over estimating the car payment.

My sisters car payment is $350 after they took 5,000 off the car price. They were having a sale on 2017 Corollas. We had to sit with them for few hours. As they originally had it at $500 a month. They took off a lot of stuff, haggled with th insurance company, bank to get it extended to the maximum payment period, we had to get the car under coated and detailed for the bank to agreed. We spent the like 7 hours total. Barely got the car before they closed. We almost got locked in th lot lol. They told her she’d be able to refinance after a year and get it down some. It’s their cheapest 4 door. It was actually cheaper then their tiny 2 door due to the sale. So $400 isn’t that off.
Kia are little cheaper but junk.

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

27 Jan 2018, 2:32 am

For a new car, ya sure that’s not that unreasonable. My car stickers at $18k cdn, I bought it because it was $12k and still brand new. My payment is $300/mo for 4 or so years.

I have bought a car for $700, though. That one lasted 13 months. Sly, you’re trained as a mechanic. You could buy a $500 beater and get it running well for a few hundred bucks by maintaining it yourself. No payments when it’s paid for!

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

27 Jan 2018, 3:08 am

sly279 wrote:

Chronos wrote:

sly279 wrote:

fluffysaurus wrote:

Quote:

You are over estimating the car payment.

Apparently the Toyota brand, which used to be an economy brand, has appreciated in value and is no longer an economy brand. I'm inclined to agree with you that Kias are junk, however this is an ongoing debate with someone I have been having recently, who insists that Kias used to be junk but no longer are.

Anyway, you can get cars for $250-$300 per month. It just might not be the car you want.

Loner269
Blue Jay

Joined: 26 Apr 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 97
Location: Finland

27 Jan 2018, 4:10 am

Are you guys telling him to get a car just to get a girl even if he doesn't need a car? That's ridiculous. I think sly should really consider looking into MGTOW and why we should stop caring about women's ever growing requirements and just live our lives worry-free.

Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

27 Jan 2018, 4:20 am

Loner269 wrote:

I think Sly would probably actually like to improve his life regardless of women, and better transportation may help him do that.

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

27 Jan 2018, 4:34 am

Loner269 wrote:

No. That's kind of a secondary reason.

I'm entertaining the conversation about it for a few reasons. Sure, having transportation will attract more potential dates, but so will all the other improved traits that come along with building up to car ownership. Being a little more optimistic, possibly working more/earning more money, being goal oriented and focused, being disciplined, being free to travel independently whenever you feel like it, regaining confidence in knowledge & skills if he repairs a beater with his own hands.. so many reasons. It's a nice little daydream exercise because it could lead to so many other improvements that all would make for a happier more datable sly.

Also, I wanted to point out that while yes, owning & operating a car costs more than sly's current budget allows for, it doesn't have to cost nearly what sly estimated it to cost. I wanted him to see that he's exaggerating.. amplifying the costs to make them appear more unattainable & thus "impossible," when in reality one could buy a cheap reliable beater for under a grand and never have a $400/mo car payment. If sly can see that his estimates are off on that, maybe he'll be able to see that some of his other thoughts are amplifying problems to be bigger than they are, and that more things are possible for him to achieve in this life than he gives himself credit for.

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

27 Jan 2018, 4:51 am

When I commuted 30 miles a day, my gas costs were always less than $150 a month, even when gas was $4 a gallon.

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

27 Jan 2018, 5:16 am

Chronos wrote:

No Toyota is still the economy brand. Cars just cost a lot now.
24,000 for a car is cheap in comparison to other cars.

Every mechanic I’ve talked to calls kias the 60,000 mil cars. Ie their engine dies or they suffer costly repairs at 60,000 miles. Where Toyota’s and other brands keep trucking along. That’s they get the cars down to 17,000. No mechanics recommend or would own a Kia. So yeah you could get a car for thst but then your be paying for a giant paper weight after year or so and still have 3-4 more years of payments on top of costly repairs, Toyota are known to go for 300,000 plus miles with the original engine. She got her car for 2-3 thousand over a Kia.

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

27 Jan 2018, 5:22 am

goldfish21 wrote:

I bought my last car for 2,000 had it for year or so and had to sell it for $150. Guys going fix it and make good profit on it. Sisters of car is similar situation. We’ve had a lot of money wasted on junk cars, it’s just throwing money in a fire. I had a car or van for 5 years and did me no good besides be sink hole for money. Sold both at a high loss.

Let’s just pretend I didn’t get a degree. I don’t remember any of it and even when I didn even when I was in school I couldn’t fix stuff well and I couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with stuff. Hence I didn’t get work in the field. Which is finnturns out thst work was horrible for me. So unless it’s simple stuff which anyone could do I can’t do anything.
I can change parts that’s it. I look up videos. I hate my degree I wish I’d neber gone to college, I’d been better off just finding part time work. I’d be student debt free.

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

27 Jan 2018, 5:24 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

When I commuted 30 miles a day, my gas costs were always less than $150 a month, even when gas was $4 a gallon.

The last gas station I passed tonight had the highest price I've seen all day: 1.449cdn/L = $5.48cdn/us gallon = 4.45usd/us gallon. During the summer when I work in the city and go to the beach after work my daily m-f commute is ~110km, about 65 miles. On the weekends that I go to the other beach to kiteboard it's over 250kms roundtrip, ~145 miles. Add insurance, oil/maintenance/tires etc, and the cheapest parking I can find when working downtown and my $300/mo car payment on a cheap car turns into over $1400/mo to drive at peak expenses.

But yeah, sly could get away with a bare bones reliable econobeater transportation appliance & keep it on the road for basic short trips to town etc for maybe $300ish usd/mo? It's possible.

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

27 Jan 2018, 5:29 am

sly279 wrote:

Chronos wrote:

What about a Hyundai?

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

27 Jan 2018, 5:31 am

I made mistakes buying sh***y cars that kept costing money, too.

But then I stopped caring about what kind of car it was or what it looked like etc and decided to buy based on inexpensive reliability. No more expensive money pit old cars, instead I bought a couple 1990 honda civic hatchbacks back to back and got about 2 years or so out of them total. One cost $700 one cost $1100 both required some maintenance/repairs over time - but parts were super cheap. Civic/Corolla etc old cars are not costly to maintain.

When you're looking for your next car, shop based on finding an oooold cheap reliable beater that won't need much else other that gas & oil and used tires once in a blue moon.

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

27 Jan 2018, 5:32 am

Chronos wrote:

Loner269 wrote:

I think Sly would probably actually like to improve his life regardless of women, and better transportation may help him do that.

I’m quite happy wit th bus. It’s not a money sink whole. Buses wear out and city pays to repair or replace them. With how long it takes me to save th money to buy a car or even repair one it’s waste. For someone who can put aside 500-1000 a month sure cars might be worth it, for someone struggling to put aside $50 it’s a waste. The only reason to get is for female approvals, but it’s the whole package needed. I had a car for years and still wasn’t enough, and bunch of women wont date a guy with a unreliable junker car which is all I could ever afford. Sure maybe if I saved in 30-40 years I could get a new car but by then they’re cost more due to inflation. I don’t remembwr Toyota costs but they use to be 15,000, kias were 8-9,000, a porsch 911 turbo cost 115,000 in 2006 now cost 260,000. So even if I saved 20,000 in that time the equivalent car will cost twice that or more. It’s a fools errand. Poor people can’t afford cars. Why do couples need two cars? Wouldn’t it make more sense to just have one? People back east use trans and don’t have cars. People in Europe own less cars. But in west coast everyone got to have a car.mfamilies have multiple cars. One for wife, one for husband, one for each kid. It’s crazy. Whole families back in th 40s were lucky if they had one car. Thennpeople get together and ther appartment only has one spot so they struggle to park their second car. Pay twice the insurance. Ridiculous. Why do women insist on it? Because society says it’s a defining trait of adult hood? No doubt th car industry pays huge money for that t be pushed.

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

27 Jan 2018, 5:38 am

Chronos wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Chronos wrote:

What about a Hyundai?

They’re made in the same factory lol.
Use the same engines.
Japanese then German, then American, then lastly South Korean cars.
German cars are good but expensive to repair. Toyota is better then Honda. Both are good, Toyota just uses a engine designed to not destroy it self if the belt snaps. Subaru are also expensive to fix due to their engine being horizontal and their all wheel drive.
There’s certain Honda engines to avoid as well. But I forgot which ones.

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

27 Jan 2018, 5:46 am

Just because you can't afford a car today doesn't mean you never will.

Couples might have two cars because they each work at different places or have other time commitments & obligations they need transportation for ?? Cars are extremely convenient & nearly essential to suburban commuters.

Where I live, if I drive to work it takes 50mins in the morning, 1hr 15mins or so average in the evening return trip home.. but if I take transit it takes 2 hours to get to work & 3-4 hours to get home, and if it's after 8pm then I have to walk either the last 4km or 7km because there aren't any more buses on my street. I did it for 5 months a couple years ago (to save more money) & it was very, very, tiring. There are three of us that live in this house, we each have a drivers licence and our own vehicle. Nearly every single person in this neighbourhood that has a drivers licence has a car. This suburban neighbourhood is very challenging to navigate without a car - it consumes all of your time, and running errands takes hours and you can do very few things per trip via transit. I did go without a car for a couple years. I did a lot of cycling and jogging to buy groceries and pay my phone bill - about 10 miles roundtrip. Anyways, people like me pay to have cars on the road to save ourselves IMMENSE amounts of time. Cars can also create more job opportunities, or side job weekend work opportunities.. can't take on extra work if you can't get to the work. They're also good for dating/social life/sports/hobbies, too.

BUT, downtown, in the city of Vancouver.. guess who lives there? The highest number of Car2Go customers of any city in the world. Plus there's ZipCar, Evo, and some other car sharing companies. And a LOT of public transit users. IN the city transit is much more convenient, so it's a more viable option for people. But anyways, here we are, a West Coast city, and we have one of the highest rates of car sharing among non-car owners in the entire world. Now, it's not because people don't want cars anymore.. it's that driving is very expenses and rent prices are even more expensive so people can't afford rent AND a car anymore. While it's sort of financially forced, it's still fact that there are an awful lot of car-free people here and it's becoming much more of a norm not to have one if you live IN the city.

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

27 Jan 2018, 5:47 am

sly279 wrote:

Chronos wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Chronos wrote:

What about a Hyundai?

Is your information on the quality of Kias and Hyundais recent?

Yes, Toyotas are the holy grail of reliable cars. That's why they have become so expensive.

Page 39 of 56 [ 884 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42 ... 56 Next

Jump to:

Slys dating site advice help thread. Post Reply New Topic

Slys dating site advice help thread.