Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

Post Reply New Topic

Damn androbot01 you lucky bastard, getting all the FWB action

A relationship can be a good addition to one's life, but in the words of RuPaul: "if you can't love yourself, how in the he££ you gon' love somebody else, can I get an amen?"

All I was trying to get at is that counting on another to bring happiness is placing an unfair burden upon that person. Once you are happy with yourself (i.e. not the whole 'it's not fair'- 'thinking anyone owes you anything' mindset) women see the happiness in guy and radiate to them.

Women have an easier time getting dates because most (or a significant portion at least of) men want to get laid. Hence the ease of getting them to agree to a situation that could potentially lead to 'banging' (I think that's what the kids call it now). Women on the other hand are biologically engineered to be selective in order to produce the the best offspring possible.

So it is not personal, but a happy (ish), confident, kind,... guy who shows no signs of immediately expecting 'return-on-investment' is generally considered more attractive than someone who might potentially drain your positivity/energy or rely heavily on you to make life better (= a LOT of pressure). Not implying in the least that this is pertinent to your situation, just in general terms.

This concludes my rational aromantic assessment . I'm over the harshness btw, so I meant that last part in a friendly way. And Im sincerely happy to hear you found someone !

It works for me (most of the time.)

Hey, sex/'love' are just a chemical processes. Whatever balances you out and keeps you functioning optimally right!

I have trouble with aromance.

I'm not over-the-top romantic.....but I like the goo-goo eyes and stuff like that.

Putting words in my mouth again, I never said a relationsip is a solution.

A relationship is a relationship.

It doesn't have to be a solution for anything, in fact, it shouldn't be a solution for anything at all.

It is you, androbot, who views (fwb) relationships as a trade and solution for you.

In fact a normal fwb should be fun for fun, with no commitment; while in the other thread you admitted it is kind of (unpleasant)sex for things you need, a pure trade.

You have an unusual view on relationships, but it doesn't reflect the majority of people.

Msv, as for happiness, one missing thing in one's life can lead to unhappiness; loneliness can be a major factor in unhappiness even if everything else is perfect - because most normal human beings harbor for companionship; so why it is wrong to say that getting a relaltionship may lead to one's happiness? What's so abormal in that?

^

For heaven's sake, Boo. If you've altered your opinion, just say so.


So we agree.


True but irrelevant.

To clarify, a relationship isn't the solution for *all problems*...which was I was referring to while replying to MSV, but a relationship can be the solution for solitude and loneliness, it can be a source of happiness in person's life, and its lack can be a source of unhappiness even if everything else is perfect.

There are people who become unhappy for too long when they lose a spouse, some don't even recover from it (I personally knew one who she figuratively died, as she says it, since her husband died, it had been a decade).

What I notice here on WP over and over again, is when someone complaining about wanting a bf/gf while admitting and feel depressed for lack of relationship, while having other problems in life, ie. low-paying job, debts, disease...whatever, some of you come and be like "Oh, but you need to love yourself first", "Oh, you need to solve your problems first", ..etc.
It seems that hidden message you always trying to send is that only problems-free people have the right for a relationship? It sounds so patronizing.
Who are you to tell people what they should want, and what they should prioritize?

It's a forum ... people are supposed to say what they think. And my experience has taught me that I have to be responsible for my own happiness (or lack thereof.) I'm sorry that the posters are depressed and I hope they feel better; I'm just saying that having a relationship will not do this. If you're depressed, you will continue to be so when you are in a relationship.

Frankly, I don't think "loving one's self" can always make a person happy. It's just a pop-psychology saying that everyone likes to repeat. Sorry for being the skeptic, but I just think there's a hell of a lot more to happiness than loving yourself. It takes an environment where a person is engaged and stimulated, meaningfully challenged without undue stress, socially nurtured, entertained, etc... Having no meaningful connections or interactions in your daily life just doesn't lead to happiness.


What if both partners are lonely? Is it such an "unfair" burden then? If both benefit, where is this "burden"? It's also weird to use the word "unfair", then criticize it in the same sentence.


But I don't think most men on this site just want to get laid. If that was all it was they did they could just hire a prostitute. I think the real issue is women tend to bond into these tight-knit groups while men don't. I see it all the time. Therefore women don't understand the loneliness that men face.


I don't really see this zero-sum happiness game going on in real life. I don't have to bring someone else down to make myself more happy. I also don't have this harsh judgement towards people who are unhappy. I mostly want people in my life to be real, not fake. I don't want to see people pretending to be happy and confident. I've found that those people who always put on a front and pretend to be happy are the worst.

I want REAL PEOPLE. My girlfriend is unhappy and doesn't have her "life together". Neither do I. I don't give a s**t though. It doesn't bother me. We are both happy to be supportive of the other. I just don't understand the judgement most of the world has towards depression. You don't see it towards people who have physical pain or illness. I just don't get it.


Thanks.

It sucks, but it's a fact of life. Depression spreads and when you're suffering from it, it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, people are affected negatively and will likely avoid you.

No, I know people who become very happy in life when they find someone, that's because the source of depression was the lack of love. Period. It's alone a big part of life.

Let's not go far, we even have live examples here on this forum:
Nick005 and that goofy-something girl,

Those two users sounded so depressed, sad and whiny when they were single.

Now after they have someone? Look at them, they're happy, especially goofy, she's always sounding happy ever since she got a bf.

There were older users whom I barely recall their usernames (one was called Erisad or something, she was so depressed/whiny before bf, but after bf..boom..all happy) who went into the same.

So yes, a relationship can make a happy person to be happy, why this is so hard to believe?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 05 Mar 2016, 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well then, we'll have to agree to disagree.

The thing is androbot01, I don't think you're that experienced in (real) relationships.

It is exactly this. It seems as if the people making this criticism don't empathize. They act as if they're completely neurotypical, no mental health problems, etc... Or maybe it's okay for women to have flaws, but not men. Men must always be "confident". Mrrraaaahhh! Me confident! Me powerful! Me have no emotions! Also, the advice of "be happy" just makes unhappy people put on a fake front and act like plastic robotic narcissists.

Let men joke without the drama?

Yeah, that would require that everyone realize you're "only joking" and not serious about words that taken at face value are clear misogynistic denigration of women in general and women on this forum in particular.

Considering that this is WrongPlanet, where many of the women are autistic just like the men, and also it's the internet (not face to face where we can see you smiling and laughing or in deadpan sarcasm mode), unless you're using emoticons, it might be asking a bit much to assume that we'll just know whether you're joking, or being legitimately rude and nasty.

Yeah I know this goes back a couple pages but I haven't been here a couple days and didn't see anything else that evoked a coherent response.

No it doesn't spread. People might react negatively, but it isn't contagious. These people who complain about other people "making them depressed" are simply selfish people who have never experienced true depression. Lucky them.