Guys - Why do you want a woman in your life?

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The way you've phrased that makes it seem like you mean to say that not having a woman in your life proves that women dislike you as you think they do. I'm sure you can see how you could fall into a trap with this kind of thinking.



All you need to have in common is that you are attracted to each other. Limiting yourself to only people who like specific things severley cuts down the amount of choice you have which in turn makes your other more reasonable requirements even more difficult to find.

You are stuck inside a vicious circle and the only way out is to let go of everything in this paragraph. Women don't want to get into a relatinship with a man who gives off the vibe (as you are no doubt currently doing) of always judging them. Why would a woman want to be with a man who is constantly measuring her to see if she is sufficiently unsuperficial, unpetty, likeable and non-arrogant as he has pre-judged her to be?

You desperately need to break out of this train of thought if you want to ever be in a relationship. No woman wants to be in a relationship with a man who dislikes, distrusts and negatively judges her until she proves herself worthy by liking him. If you want a woman to be attracted to you, it is crucial that you not pre-judge women harshly. What woman says to herself, "I know that man really thinks I'm a superficial, petty, mean, arrogant, b***h just like all women but I'm sure he'll change his mind about me once he gets to know me". Not very many women. The great majority of women will steer clear of the man who is giving off "women suck" vibes because it is absolutely horrible to be in a relationship with somebody who dislikes you.

If there is any way, any way at all you can let this go, your fortunes can change.

Maybe because she actually is sympathetic to his situation, and/or desperately wants to prove that she isn't like those other women in his life? Seriously, the fact that they would write a guy off because of the fact that he has been disheartened by other women and doesn't live up to some superhuman "take it like a man" image is IN ITSELF showing that they are NOT any more likeable and unsuperficial, in my opinion.



And that attitude gives off the vibe "I'm already sizing him up for a long term relationship before we have even gotten to know each other", which is a huge turn-off as well. It goes both ways, Janissy.

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Long term? Even a one night relationship with somebody who dislikes you would be unpleasant.

But why would you, or other women, be so insecure that, even if you know inside you are a nice person who is worth liking, you feel that you couldn't show him that you are better than all those who turned him down, and have him like you? The way you are acting just compounds the problem.

I mean, I often find that women say guys don't care about pleasing them sexually. While I don't believe I am some magic sex god, I seriously do want sex to be a mutually pleasurable activity, and feel that given the chance I could show that. The problem is, I never get the chance because all women seem to write me off prematurely.

This is the problem. Women who turn down a man are not bad people. It is not evil or bad for a woman to not be ttracted to a particular man. Framing women as somehow bad people because they are not attracted to you is ...not nice. A woman won't be attracted to a man who doesn't like her or women in general. She won't want to prove that she's better than the other women by liking him because those other women HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG and she knows that. The hypothetical woman doesn't want to be with a man who has pre-judged her and all women for the "sin" of not being attracted to him.

This is the big, huge problem. The elephant in the room. A woman who is not attracted to you (or any particular man) has DONE NOTHING WRONG. The idea that a woman is pre-judged as a bad person unless she proves you wrong by being attracted to you is just a horrible idea. And a huge turn-off for women.

A woman is not a bad person because she isn't attracted to me, just a person I don't see the need to have in my life.

What I'm talking about is when it gets to be a pattern. There are women I'm not attracted to, yes, but if a woman approached twenty guys and none of them was at all attracted, I'd understand that she'd be discouraged. This is especially the case if these guys appeared to dislike her without having a clue who she really is. And especially bad is when the reasons for lack of attraction seem "non-negotiable", in the sense that the deal breakers never really see the light of day and have a chance for their arbitrariness to be noted.

And we're touching on another elephant in the room from my perspective--the fact that for women sexual attraction seems almost binary. For me, there are women I'm not attracted to at all, ones I'd be interested in making out with and seeing naked but have no great urge to have full sexual intercourse with, ones I'd be interested in sleeping with a few times but not more, etc. With so many women, it seems it's either totally platonic or all the way. And aside from making even the slightest sexual attention seem like this gigantic, overblown prize, it's F'ing BORING and contributes greatly to the impression that "women" is some monolithic faceless category. Believe me, that impression doesn't come from nowhere, among the guys who have it.

I'm certainly not going to dispute that. It is definately true of myself and a great majority of women that we want "either totally platonic or all the way". Yup. You do have that one pegged correctly. It may bore you that you have encountered no women at all who would like like to have moderate sexual contact with random men, but oh well. This is one dilemma that I just can't sympathize with.

Hopefully this thread will attract some women who DON'T have binary sexual desires toward men, and they will be able to explain what the dating scene looks like form their perspective.

When SINsister said hello in that other thread, it gave me hope again that women might actually stand up and be counted when they aren't one of the herd in terms of relationship desires.

It is true that some woman belive that about men and for some its is ture but I see it has mostly due to a limitation in our anatomy as once the fireworks go off its like man was tranqulized,think of the male sexual anatomy like a musket that its a one shot affair and takes a while to reload and be ready for more action compared to the rapid fire like female sexual anatomy.I also doesn't help that a certain part of a body is mutilated shortly after we enter the world.I also read somewhere that a reccomended tactic is to make sure she gets hers first than you or she can finish the man off.I am trying to not be to graphic or break any rules.

There a lots of women who like casual sex, but theyre all in nightclubs aspies can't cope in.

That's why you go online. Where body language & social status don't matter.

It's rooted in human biology. Women tend to want commitment. If you're just after sex, read a few pick-up guides and go to a night-club.

Personally, I'm more interested in having a deep relationship, even if it means being stuck without sex for a while. The big reason for that is if I don't love someone, the idea of having sex just makes me feel dirty, immoral. Sexually, I want to be with someone who feels the same way. It shouldn't be completely taboo, but there should be a significant desire to have a firm foundation of love before taking the clothes off.

Until I lose my right hand, I vote meaningful relationship.