Dealbreakers that would prevent you from any further contact

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My dealbreakers:

A woman who openly disses family or friends especially to their face (unless it is in revenge due to her being a victim/scapegoat in the past without justification - and I better know the full story beforehand)

A woman who puts me down for something when she is way off-base and inaccurate and is trying to read between lines that don't exist, especially one who thinks most men are pigs a priori, or thinks all porn is sexist, or who dresses sexily for a date then gets mad if I stare, or thinks that a woman can stare but a man better not, etc., or who flirts with other men while on dates with me, or who answers her cell phone in my presence (unless her aunt Ruth is having bypass surgery and it's announced before we go out on the date)

A woman who says it's ok to change any man (as they all need that) but who thinks she is perfect and is unwilling to change anything about herself

Like another poster said: a woman who does not like/openly puts down the kind(s) of music I write, especially if she says it's crazy or unpopular and that she doubts my normality/sanity because of it and wishes I would write things "normal" people would want to hear

A woman hooked on fashion, superstars and current TV shows

A woman who "forgets" to email, call or show up for a date, or cancels often enough for me to get the picture I don't count much in her life, or who plays phone-tag games on purpose to make me work harder to get me to chase her, or who sends mixed messages

A woman who is openly hesitant to continue dating me because she wonders if her friends would approve - i.e., has no mind of her own, no nerve

Any hard drug use except if she's in recovery for a LONG time (like my almost 10 years of sobriety)

One final one: an atheist

Well this is going to suprise a few people but after the weekend I have had this is my one major dealbreaker.

Female Aspies

Im never going near one ever again.

How so?

eh you pretty cool guy...



! !! You are my hero.

I'm assuming from the username that you have some sort of math degree? I am a math undergrad and I compose 'experimental' or 'odd' music as well.

Well I went on a date friday just gone with someone I'd met a couple of weeks earlier, that seem to go fairly well, whilst me and her are at a curryhouse chatting away waiting for our meals, she reveals to me she has AS (something I'd never suspected) and I told her I had it as well. Anyway that seems to go well, then we got to get a drink before moving onto a rock club club to meet a mutual friend. Whilst at the club she runs into one of her of her exs who she had been b*tching about earlier and ended up going off with him. I was and am still absolutely livid and very upset (haven't spoke to her since, she's lost any time or respect I had for her) having had my time wasted and being made to feel like a complete idiot like that.

And before anyone says thats just one person and I shouldnt make a sweeping generalisation I also use to be best friends with a female aspie who turned out to be nothing but a complusive and liar and an emotional vampire who tried draining the life out of everyone around them.

This whole incident has got me thinking that maybe some people have an 'aspie radar' (in the same way that some homosexuals have a 'gaydar') and that they can obviously spot me as an easy target. Hence the reason Im never gonna consider a romantic/intimate relationship with a female aspie ever again, in my experience they're just pure evil.

Strangely enough, that sounded like my experience with NTs.

Oh wow. That was a pretty rotten thing to do. Leaving in the middle of your date to go off with an ex (or to go off with anyone, really). Yep. That would make me livid too.

Im glad at least people don't think Im over-reacting. Just to make things wierder she now wants to go on another date Seriously what is wrong with some people?

Another one: Projects her insecurities on others (if she has them).

Yeah, I'd have to say compulsive lying fits in with my experience of just about everyone I've ever met.

My first partner was a compulsive liar, and a cheater.

Bad Hygiene
Liar
Cheater
Abusive
Controlling
STD (depending on what kind it is and how it is being controlled or treated)
Really uptight
Doesn't like doing things or being active
Any drug habits
Alcoholic
Cigarette smoker (I'm highly allergic due to asthma and allergies)

I hear you, Tim. My first husband was a big time manipulator and the line between manipulation and lying is thin.

You know, I may possibly want to amend my list... cigarettes may actually be a deal-breaker for me. They are pretty disgusting and I am not sure I could love and respect someone who would do that to themselves and to others.

Then again, the type of people who smoke are generally not the type of person I would fall for so perhaps the point is moot?

Same here. That's why I don't date NTs.

Some of us aspies do smoke too, you know.

Dealbreakers for me,

lying, cheating, bad hygiene, drug use, extreme heavy drinking, being a rascist, lack of compassion and humor. I don't think these should be much to ask for.

I've been involved with an overly aggressive guy, and one who was so passive that I wondered if he did in fact have a spine.

Someone in the middle would be nice for a change. Yes, a nice guy!!

No actualy a polymath is a person who is 'expert' in several fields, or at least has strong enough hobby interests that he/she might pass as an expert. This is also known as a 'scanner'. I actually am good at math also BTW.

and THANKS for the compliments!! !