With AS, Does no one want to "give?"

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Yeah, I have noticed that I adopt some doglike mannerisms at times.

I have a deep desire to profit from anything that I do in some wya or other (not always financially), but I don't want a relationship, ever.

I suppose most people are more interesting in talking about what they want and then one they've got it they'll give back something.

Actually, if anybody sees me on the "Love" forum again could you tell me to leave? Nothing applies to me here because I don't date yet I open many, many forums, sometimes this is one of them. I shouldn't even be here...

@Zen - I think he was completely overwhelmed by social contact, but he didn't know how to express it. He also had abandonment issues, so I thought I was totally doing the right thing by "sticking with him" - proving that I wasn't going to leave him, no matter what. Can you imagine anything worse for an Aspie who just needs to be alone for a while? Eventually, he'd push me away pretty brutally by saying or doing something really hateful. I'd be hurt and angry and leave him alone and a few days later he'd come around acting like his old self, begging forgiveness, etc. I'd forgive him, and the cycle would start all over again. It all seems so clear now, his "special interests," the need for solitude, the way he'd say things that were just devastating - but without a trace of anger. I just didn't have the context back then.

@Alana, it really messed with me, too. It just destroyed my self-esteem. The worse things got between us, the more I became convinced everything was my fault (a concept he definitely endorsed)....the harder I tried to fix it. I couldn't separate the failure of the relationship from me being a failure as a person (that was part of the stuff I had to work out for myself). By the time I finally broke up with him, there was no going back. I had my first, "how would things be different between us if we tried again?" talk. I got him to see that we were stuck in a really bad cycle, and that neither one of us were happy. He continued to call me every few months for the next few years. We had dinner a few times, but nothing more. I think he must have met someone else, finally, cause he eventually just stopped calling.

In a relationship I an eager giver. Like you I want my make my partner happy, make his life easier, help him with whatever troubles he has on his mind. "He" being fictional these days.
But it's not just in relationships I'm extremely affectionate. Fortunately my friends, family and doggies are all very fond of hugs.
I do like to help out whenever I can. I love nursing my loved ones, whenever they're sick, although it drains my energy.
I can't cope with having to nurse someone for too long at a time. Not without breaks and time alone.
I break down if I don't have at least a couple of hours each day just to think and be myself.

But I am a giver. I'm a cuddle- hug- caress- and kiss-loving giver.

I have a deep desire to give.

please just stop... you're starting to make me wonder if that kind of woman actually exists...

Something about the word "caress" above reminded me of the time I started reading up on massage technique through the internet after my lady admitted to enjoying back-rubs.

Of course we do! We're just not the most obvious ones, I believe. Women like me and my friends are all very caring, but we're not the ones standing on the tables at parties, we're not the ones in the shortest dresses, with flashy make-up, etc.
If your local library has a basement available to the public, try looking down there! The town library in Randers has a wonderful basement, with a huge red couch, books not many people like to read: poetry, art, architecture, books in other languages, etc.



...Something tells me I shouldn't ask too much about that link, unless I want to disturb my delicate mind.
Wait a minute -! PLA HAS A LADY?! Oh my! Do tell.

That's quite alright... i tend to go for the down-to-earth looking ladies myself... there's just way too few of those around, especially in my age range...


I already looked into my library. It has the same problem as my church (complete lack of anybody in the 18-30 range)

I must say, I'm puzzled. What does the quiet youth around your part of the world do then?
Coffee shops?

I honestly don't know... my guess would have to be move to another area because I don't see that many people my age around at all... (that and the area I live in is smack dab in the middle of a bunch of bedroom communities near NYC, so probably not that many young people own homes around here...

Toad, this calls for some investigation !
Where did the young folks of [insert city area], New Jersey go?
Parks must be searched, doors must be knocked, posters must be hung on street lamps -
If you're fond of the place you live, it would be a shame to leave...
Unless you feel for some change of scenery. (:

(I'm not making any sense this evening, do forgive me. XD )

Nah, I just wanted to de-stress her. Ease tense shoulders. It feels good to make her smile.

Eh, I'm not sure. *sigh*
I believe I'm not exciting enough anymore. She hasn't talked to me for a month and a half, so ...
It wouldn't be a big surprise if I can't be enough for someone as adventurous as her.

Ah, that's a tough one.
Sorry to hear it isn't going all that well.
Does she know, you're interested?

Yes, with certainty. She used to reciprocate, as well. It's not so bad though, I hope she'll want to stay my friend anyway. We've been good friends for many years; best friends for a good while.

I'm not terribly fond of NJ, but for all intents and purposes it is my home. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else, despite the mediocre conditions...

As for finding people, you're probably better at that than me. Maybe you should come over here and find some for me. My big problem is that if I don't have a reason to talk to someone, it's like they don't exist. I need to be part of something along with the other person in question... my church, choirs, hell I've been thinking about trying habitat for humanity as of late... I've joined a bunch of community choirs recently in the hopes that maybe they would have some younger people. None did.

Or, on the other hand, you could just chill with me and we wouldn't have to be so "hopeless' in our hopeless romanticism... lol