Enough is enough.

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Sound
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23 Apr 2010, 2:29 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Its not fulfilling a need, it's fulfilling a desire. You can survive without sex fine, and romance.

Consider me corrected.

alana
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23 Apr 2010, 3:00 am

MrDiamondMind wrote:

alana wrote:

my feeling is that this is true eventually, it may not seem like it in teens and early 20's but the older guys get the more traits that an aspie guy has become the traits that a woman is looking for in a mate. Definitely good advice to use those aspie brains in service of a good career because later in life aspie men are hot properties in terms of being faithful and level-headed, etc.

What about those of us who find the college atmosphere unbearable to deal with, and hence never acquire a good career? I'll probably never make $80,000+ per year, due to my version of AS, regardless that I am very far away from being an idiot.

My brother has a 2 year graphic arts degree. He has an amazing girlfriend right now. His head is totally on straight, he is faithful, he is a good father, he doesn't have that ridiculous 'peter-pan' syndrome, etc, he isn't going through some stupid mid-life crisis because he was born around 40, lol. I wasn't talking about being rich, at all. I know what you mean, I crashed and burned horribly in college. I am very jealous of my brother, who is a year younger than me. Because of what he is, owing to his aspie traits, he is never single for long and he doesn't have to do ANYTHING to get a girlfriend except show up at work. It pisses me off. He is coasting into his prime, women are fed up with the BS at this age and looking for someone level headed. Of course, my brother has always been level headed, because he is aspie (undiagnosed). If he wasn't with the one he is with now there is another one who is alot younger who is waiting in the wings to grab him. He doesn't have to put much effort into it, because these hoochies *know what they have*, they know what they want in a man, he is going to be coming home to them every night. Those women that want stability and level-headedness in a man are out there, they just may not stand out as much as the golddiggers.

Tim_Tex
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23 Apr 2010, 3:33 am

Nobody should have to change who they are. Developing new habits, maybe, but changing the fundamental aspects of ourselves, no.

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lotusblossom
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23 Apr 2010, 8:00 am

therange wrote:

I think Aspie men are better off not knowing. If I could have done it all over again, I would have dated some unattractive girl or found a mean attractive girl. Now that I know there are quality, cute women out there, and that I'm the problem, not them, it doesn't exactly make me feel good.

well I dont think she was a quality girl, I think she messed you around and broke your heart and didnt even shag you, which makes her a mean girl! Your idolising her and you shouldnt, she was a human with clay feet and I think you can do better than her and find someone who you get on with and who will love you and shag you.

hale_bopp
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23 Apr 2010, 8:10 am

lotusblossom wrote:

Thats pretty harsh. I can't speak for her but i've been in the same situation as her and they obviously wern't compatible. When I was 19 I was with someone for 4 months and didn't shag him and apparently "broke his heart" when I broke it off, but to be honest it would have hurt a lot worse if it was left to drag on, shag the person and make it 10 times worse when you break up.

lotusblossom
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23 Apr 2010, 8:20 am

hale_bopp wrote:

lotusblossom wrote:

but Im sure you would not want him idolising you and obsessing over you a year later! He is better off haveing more realistic view of her as not perfect and forgetting about her. Personally I think there is nothing worse than a relationship not working out and not even getting a shag out of it, what a waste of time!

ToadOfSteel
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23 Apr 2010, 8:36 am

lotusblossom wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

lotusblossom wrote:

Sex is not everything... some people (like me) aren't necessarily looking for sex at all.

DavidM
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23 Apr 2010, 8:37 am

Four months' worth of intense and pleasurable shagging will shave years off you and bring you closer to Nirvana.

hale_bopp
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23 Apr 2010, 8:48 am

lotusblossom wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

lotusblossom wrote:

Only if you're actually that into the person.... Otherwise shagging them is a waste of time.

I agree with Toad on this one too, With my last partner, what I miss is the companionship, the laughs, the affection. And thats what made me fall in love with him. I also think there is a lot worse than that tbh.

Avarice
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23 Apr 2010, 8:52 am

Yes it is enough, it does amuse me at times to see those sort of posts, but they do get irritating.

Asp-Z wrote:

Willard wrote:

AaAaaUuUGgGHhh!! ![/i] Enough with the cat analogies. I hate cats. I am not a cat in any sense. Cats are STUPID. Cat intelligence is an illusion. Just look at their tiny heads - there can't be room for more than a spoonful of brain matter in that minuscule skull. If they seem aloof, thoughtful and mysterious, it's only because they're essentially robots. I give FISH credit for more smarts than cats. And no sarcasm about cats eating fish. Let me see a cat catch a shark and you can make jokes. Aspies like cats. Bleh. What an insult.
:eew:

Untrue! Cats watch human behavour and learn from it! They can even manipulate us! They are a lot more intelligent than dogs anyway!

Even dogs do that. My dog took up the habit of sitting on chairs simply because I do. I always wondered why people think cats are more intelligent than dogs, they don't even work in packs like dogs do.

DavidM
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23 Apr 2010, 8:54 am

A relationship is a means of securing sex; it is the mean and not the end as is so commonly misperceived.

Laughing is quite a simple task by comparison and can be effected through simple acts such as watching TV or reading a book.

hale_bopp
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23 Apr 2010, 9:01 am

DavidM wrote:

/facepalm

For you maybe. I couldn't give a f*ck if I ever have sex again. I have a vibrator and its wonderful.
Its not the laughing, its sharing the moment. Sex is one of the very last of my priorities. I can use a vibrator a few times a week if I'm feeling upto it and thats all I want or need. I miss the companionship and affection of having a partner.

MichelleRM78
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23 Apr 2010, 9:02 am

DavidM wrote:

A relationship may be a means of securing sex-- but its also a means of securing a lot more. Even most men aren't looking for JUST sex.

DavidM
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23 Apr 2010, 9:10 am

MichelleRM78 wrote:

DavidM wrote:

A relationship may be a means of securing sex-- but its also a means of securing a lot more. Even most men aren't looking for JUST sex.

They have not freed their minds.

Companionship without proper intimacy is a state of constant repression and as a result is doomed always to disappointment and futility.

The mind is not always the master over the instincts.

When people understand the truth, they are set free. :flower:

MichelleRM78
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23 Apr 2010, 9:13 am

DavidM wrote:

MichelleRM78 wrote:

DavidM wrote:

A relationship may be a means of securing sex-- but its also a means of securing a lot more. Even most men aren't looking for JUST sex.

Actually, biological studies prove that men absolutely need sex, but they also need recreational activity with their partner, domestic support and admiration as TOP things they need. They aren't in it just for sex-- even if the sex is extremely important.

lotusblossom
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23 Apr 2010, 9:13 am

hale_bopp wrote:

lotusblossom wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

lotusblossom wrote:

people are just very different and have different priorities and likes. For me sex is the most important thing in a relationship and the main reason for a relationship. Im a very 'anti social' aspie and do not get much out of companionship, connections or feelings and mostly like the sex bit of relationships, but that is ok, we are all different.

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