friends then lovers then he shut down completely

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I would put all his stuff out on the pavement and change the locks.

ROFLMFAO!! !

Im glad you liked my reply . But yes I dont see why you should be responsible for him considering his behaviour in the previous pages of posts. Maybe you could talk to the disability agency and try and arrange for him to get his own apartment.

Ok, I've read every last post on all 5 pages, and from what I can gather, its not that he is an Aspie or not, or that he is emotionally/sexually/socially/physically confused or anything that anyone is offering. What it DOES seem like though, is that he is one of those few as*holes that give the entire Aspie community a bad name via association. Most people here know the type. Arrogant. Think they're SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO smart just because they excel in a lot of things(even though most of them are f*****g slobs and fail to keep even small folders of papers from school or work organized, even when it is done for them the first time(which, by the way, considering how big of jackasses they are cuz they think they're so smart, I find to be f*****g HILARIOUS))

And their behavior and habits are typical. Don't clean up after themselves, refuse to participate in group activities/functions that they are obligated to but don't want to, are CONSTANTLY on Wiki and other such sites(often times they have it bookmarked so when people come over and use their computer to do something online real quick and go"Why do you have Wiki bookmarked???" they can go "Because I'm doing reasearch on(insert random intellectual thing that makes them sound smarter than they really are) and I figured since Wiki is a sandbox site anyone can enter data into, it might be a good place to get a bulk of the starting research done, then move on to other, more reputable sites.")

They also have a tendency to be unemployed or when they ARE employed, they don't stay there very long, and also don't get out a lot, and some of them have that thing about not eating healthy . Also, does he play ACTUAL computer games??? As in, PC games. Not console(360, Wii, PS3, DS, 3DS, PSP, etc....) Thats another thing I've noticed in these people(and PC only gamers as well) They REFUSE to play console games(unless they were VERY high budget games and have basically bleeding edge technology(even compared to PCs) at the time. Its because they believe(and its a very stupid belief, considering how many VASTLY better console only games come out vs the number of PC only games that are good that come out) that a gaming PC is the best platform available for games.

So anyway......Yeah, he basically sounds like the typical but rare and unfortunate Aspie elitist as*hole. I say kick his ass out on the street and see how funny he thinks that is. No seriously, you shouldn't have to put up with him anymore, EVER. And he needs to get hit by a f*****g semi-truck or a bus(or something equally or more heavy than that)

So, after 3 years of so-called friendship and the guy living in my house twice, it's OVER. He moved in June 1st and treated me like an enemy ever since. He would only speak to me through locked doors, spent all his time on line, his bedroom became a mountain of trash full of smashed candy and wrappers, smashed cheetos and cookies, soda bottles, chicken bones on the floor, pizza on the floor, coins spilled all over my hardwood floors, all kinds of self gratification stuff left out in the open so if i had to clean, i couldn't MISS seeing it. ugh.

I am convinced he's all depressed from sugar addiction.

About once a month, I would go into his room (when he wasn't home), wash his sheets/pillowcases, sweep, mop, open the windows, etc... and he would be FURIOUS for days and weeks.

He got really paranoid, increasingly passive aggressive, refused to discuss his issues in terms of the breakdown of communication in our friendship and living arrangement, refused social-worker advised counseling, enrolled then immediately dropped out of college for the 3rd semester in a row, slept all day and was up all night, never opened his mail, allowed his disability checks to expire and then got mad when I sent them back for reissue, ordered $40.00 in pizza and chicken at 3am or 5am (I would hear the doorbell ring) instead of grocery shopping, told his sister all kinds of horrible things about me, changed his phone number and wouldn't give it to me (even though he lives in my house under state supervision-big NO NO), refused to make doctor or dental appointments I was required (as a caregiver) to oversee, melted part of my refrigerator with a hot pan, etc..etc...

To be fair, I "violated his privacy" several times by checking out what he was actually doing online (since he was failing out of school again and I was trying to find a way to talk to him about college), and told his sister that if he wasn't addicted to downloading furry hentai bdsm porn all night long, he might be able to complete a damn school semester! I also told him to use condoms and/or dental dams if he goes to the bdsm leather festival and decides to "play" with strangers. That freaked him out completely and he decided to move. So he's moving 30november. And our 3 year whatever-it-was is over. And I know he will delete me from his hard drive and I will never speak to or see him again. Sad. But I feel totally stressed out from being treated like crap after trying so hard for 3 years to be decent to him.

Oh, just as an interesting point: his excuse for making promises and not following through all these years: "I wanted to want to."

now it sounds like good riddance to bad rubbish.

In a way I'm jealous of how this guy can have had a relationship with a person as wonderful as you. If anything you've been the paragon of the partner an AS guy could ever hope for.


But facts are facts. AS or not he has treated you like trash and used/abused your good intentions. What amazes me is he decided to move out and not that you kicked him out. I would not be surprised if he changes his mind about moving out once he realizes he wont have anything as good as the living situation he has in your house; so be prepared for false apologies/affections/guilt trips/etc he may try to pull on you to stay where he is.

You can do better and deserve better. He's clearly decided to throw his future away...don't let him drag you along down that hole.

The fact that he is out of your life is awesome news!! !! I am so happy for you! I hope one day you get the great relationship you deserve.... : )

That guy sounds like me in so many ways that its both hilarious and depressing.

I guess I don't know much about your situation, and definitely don't have much relationship experience, but my thoughts as you wrote all that was that he'd figured you out like a formula and managed to tweak your emotional buttons to get you attached to him. I was and have been very interested in a lot of 'game' literature aimed at guys and a lot of it is about being charming but elusive, giving you a taste of magic but never quite giving the whole lot, being self interested and holding the girl in such a standing that she's not on a pedestal. Basically make it so he holds the cards.

so it could be the case that, if your now ex boyfriend took this perspective, that he saw you as some sort of video game that could be mastered...

It was disillusioning and upsetting reading this thread and seeing how despite everything that was apparently wrong with the guy, you kept on coming back to him.

At any rate it sounds like it was pretty amazing at certain times so you may as well just cherrish that. I'm sure it wasn't all bad, and nothing in life is perfect or permanent. All the best

@Lene- why am I your heroine!?!?
@Dantac- he won't try to stay. He's moving at least an hour away to be closer to his sister. Too many bad memories here. He can't delete me if he stays and he needs to delete me.

Thanks everyone else. I feel really bummed/pissed but I know I will be way better off in the long run when he leaves. He hasn't treated me like a human with feelings in a year now. So time to move on. It will be hard for me letting go and doing no contact and having all the memories and wouldda couldda shouldda in my brain trying to break my heart all over again. For him, it will be no problem. Just hit the delete button. A friend said this and it makes complete sense:
I am glad to be out now, the pain Im feeling now,is the same pain I was feeling
with him, this pain will end. staying with him it would never end.

Well, that was a waste of more than 3 years.

you learnt something from it, and yet again it obviously wasn't all bad. Nothing good lasts forever

it was mostly bad. looking back.

He came back into my life as a friend, I guess...it's been 8 months since we have spoken or seen each other. We've hung out twice. The first time was a platonic get-reacquainted hang out and the second time, he said I LOVE YOU to me more times than I can count. It's sweet but he said that 2-1/2 years ago also and then retracted it 6 months later stating "I don't even know what love is so I guess I don't love you."

So I can't believe a word he says but he was really romantic with me and I like him very much still.
I want to throw up from stress now.

He's living about 10 miles from here, he's off sugar, he's motivated, going to college, living under a strict structure with a strict host family. He has changed his life habits alot (eating veggies instead of junk food) and he seems much healthier in every way. He has mixed feelings about the family environment he is currently in but he loves the neighborhood. He was all super lovey dovey romantic with me the other day and we have another hang out planned for (tentatively) this weekend but he's still annoyed by texts and emails and doesn't make much of an effort to communicate with me aside from in person.

I assume that if he "loves me" so damn much, he'd be texting and emailing me to keep my interest up but not. He is only interested in texting with his sister most of the time (she's married/pregnant now) and he rarely replies to me. I want to give up again so badly but he says we are a "work in progress." Hmmmmm. I'm scared to get hurt again.

I'm sorry! I do hope it works out. If you would like to PM me, I can provide a shoulder to cry on.