Do AS girls date AS guys?

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LOL!! ! +1

years ago i met a woman who seemed completely simpatico; i thought at the time it was because we were both Myers-Briggs INTJ (which is 3 times rarer in women--i had never met one before), & though that wasn't wrong, i now understand being Aspergerian was also what we shared--or rather, didn't. before that, i had always dated extraverted NTs who were able to draw me out & read between the lines when i thought i was communicating but wasn't. (after her, i went back to extraverts & eventually married one.) with the woman in question, it was a delight to converse on intellectual topics & to find that we had many obsessions in common. it was like we had always known each other--but in a brother & sister way, for the sexual tension was completely lacking in this relationship. also, i think her being relatively asexual, & more than likely "more AS" (if that has a comparative), were factors. (we are still friends, but i seldom hear anything from her.)

i wouldn't want to generalize, though. for me the mystery of difference adds something, an essential spice. since i grew up with the expectation of not being understood, this is not something i require from others. what do do require is for a person to engage my imagination.

--i am sorry for those who feel embittered by their experiences with the opposite sex. i have been many times disappointed in love. all i can say is, this is a terrible world: yet that does not give you permission to be unkind. far from it. it obligates you to make the effort of compassion.

I would probably find an aspie man atractive, I just dont know any.

What's the use of a relationship if there's no sexual tension? That sounds awfully like the situation I'm in now. And I don't see it as too appealing, although I may be in a different space about it eventually. Dunno. I can't help compare us to young, attractive, happy couples you see everywhere (because what they have is normal), and frankly we're more like Edward and Tubbs in The League of Gentlemen.


A misogynist hates all women, or women in general - as opposed to hating the vacuous, barbaric, prejudiced airheads I've seen everywhere throughout my adolescent and adult life, as result of being stuck in a moronic cesspit of a "city". I know that not all women are like that (thankfully): it's just appalling to see the sorts of things which have seeped into the mainstream.

Subconsciously, we may talk like that because it hurts too much to be rejected for being gentle and considerate (or at least trying to be considerate), so we start to see appeal in somehow turning ourselves into someone who "doesn't let some chick push [them] around," blahdeblahdeblah. Well, that's no good, I'll admit.

Last edited by BPalmer on 22 Oct 2010, 1:51 am, edited 2 times in total.

I've never dated an AS woman but I have dated enough NT's to know it's not all bad.

I'd definitely like to try dating an AS woman and see how it works out. There is a young woman with whom I'm currently attempting to get into a dating situation, I find she shares many thinking patterns with me. I can't say for sure but she may be AS, once I get to know her better I'll figure it out.

Those two statements contradict each other.

Agreed, there are women that arent airheads and its high unlikely(I´d even say impossible) that you have never met one in your life. Now they may all seem like airheads to you but thats your own problem and its likely to be caused by your own prejudices.

I did this for some time, I made myself believe that there werent any girls worth dating where I lived and whenever I was introduced to one I focussed on her flaws and for a short period this isnt a problem. It becomes a problem when you start doing it unconsciously and you are unable to see that the problem may not be them but your standards, you cant expect anyone to be perfect therefore its quite easy to find flaws in almost every person but you need to focus on what you like about a person instead of whats wrong with them, otherwise you are doomed to be single forever and I doubt you want that, since this is L&D and most users here are on a relationship or are at least interested on having a relationship(perhaps after a period of singledom but it still counts).


My advice would be try to get a female friend that would enlighten you about how some woman are worth expending time with and that should probably give you a whole new perspective about who is the airhead.

The point is, the women that aren't like that were always elsewhere. There's a whole wider world I wish I'd ventured into when I was young.

What makes you think elsewhere is any different from where you live? Unless you mean people of extremely different cultures, any white western english speaking country is the same in terms of culture. (Not exactly, but very similar)

Yes and no. You'll find massive differences if you venture to London, the American South, or Cape Town's Southern Suburbs.

Why don't you move there then?

I was just using them as examples. The point is, don't assume so many things are universal everywhere!

In terms of men to women, they are very similar because we are all the same species, unless we are brought up with extreme cultural views. I doubt someone with aspergers who can't get a date will have it any easier in another country unless a) The people of that country see white men as powerful - like areas in Asia, or places where people are forced or have it drummed into them to get arranged marriges, do mens bidding etc, or just generally exotic appeal.

I was talking about the White Western World, not the communists or different cultures.

Easy there man lol. There is truth to what she said, most guys are sexist morons. That's the reality of it. Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I won't recognize and know that to be true. Take pride in yourself in not being what you hate, and maybe stop being so defensive or paranoid about things. You seem like the kind of guy who smokes and then starts seeing police cars in his rear view mirror every five seconds

Very true, and even if he lives in a country where arranged marriage is the mainstream way of getting married, he has first to convince her parents , the least social skills are still required.

Will I have a better chance in US,UK or Australia? I think not.

Social ineptness is an universal curse.

If anything, I think nt males are even more sexist. because they tend to be even more full of themselves and to feel that they are entitled to get any woman they desire. But in general I'd say most guys fit that same pathetic personna. Awww but don't judge everyone the same. Most doesn't equal all :p