Anyone here NEVER had a relationship?

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Daedelus1138
Raven
Raven

Joined: 28 Oct 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 106

20 Nov 2010, 7:07 am

nthach wrote:

25 and I've never been in an relationship. On one hand I feel like time is running out for me but on the other I think time maybe on on my side.

If you are in your 20's, and been diagnosed a while, it is a good time to work on social skills. Reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was a good book for me. At least you will be able to pass for NT for most of the day-to-day interactions. I can most of the time. Relationships are difficult but then for many years I had no idea what was up with me, if i did i could have done things differently (I'm 34 now). Now i'm at the stage i am trying to focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses, because fixing weaknesses takes too long.

J-P
Velociraptor

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 487
Location: Montréal,Québec,Canada

12 Apr 2011, 3:45 pm

nthach wrote:

RICKY5 wrote:

nthach wrote:

RICKY5 wrote:

J-P wrote:

Jono wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

I seem to be the only guy on the planet, even among Aspies, that has never had a girlfriend, ever. No kisses, nothing. I post on the LoveShy forums sometimes, but I find they're a bit too bitter and unsupportive over there.

I must be the only 28 y.o on the planet who has no experience with girls. I have female friends, but never anything more than this.

I'm 30 and I've never been in a relationship. I've never even been on a date.

Same never have relationship,kiss and date at nearly 22 years old. ZERO opportunity...Friend side i don't have friend to spocialize frequently...sometime i ask myself if it's not me the problem....Now im a misogynic man by women fault and xenophobic caused by heavy mistreatment by stranger(other race or my own race) even my family have made me suffer by moment. My self esteem suffer

Il serait bien pour toi si tu changerais ton mode de porter votres vetements . Te raser la tete et jetez la chemise de Mario! Pardonnes-moi! Mon francais est un peu rouille!

If they can't accept as i am they can go SUCK MY BIG ASPIE DICK AND GO TAKE SOME GAZ SHOWER WITH JEWS UNDERSTAND?!
What did you just say?

I just told him in rusty french that he should change his appearance for starters by shaving his head and ditching the MArio t-shirt in his profile pic.

And I agree - appearance is one thing people judge on.

jamieboy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,619

13 Apr 2011, 7:21 am

Me neither. Not hard to figure out why. I don't leave the house very often and when i do i tend to avoid anything social. Socialising is just major stress and awkwardness for me. Tend to stay in, but my life has little joy or meaning in it. Often i'll find it quite difficult just to get out my chair and put a cd on. Even though i'm very fit ,so i guess i must be suffering from depression quite bad.

Starlight-Supernova
Velociraptor

Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 430
Location: England, North West

13 Apr 2011, 7:26 am

I'm in-between...I have dated a few girls but the way they went were not what you would call a relationship....one did it to please me (just saying yes and not even bothering hanging around with me), one I hardly saw (which was apointless), and the other was obsessive and tried to rush me when I just wanted to take things slow.

So yeah...I'd say I have experienced a REAL relationship based on that...asking someone out is easy....them going through with it is the hard part.

Shebakoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Sep 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,759

13 Apr 2011, 2:09 pm

DemonAbyss10 wrote:

follow up to my earlier post. Ive gotten far too much female attention, so yeah I have become numb to it. Its just like stop bugging me I want to just sit in my corner absorbed in my own thoughts. Its kind of annoying that I can easily come across as the mysterious brooding type in person, it somehow triggers the whole "I want to run up to him and give him a big hug or at least play around with him for a bit" response in women. Sometimes I swear NTs are the ones who cannot comprehend body language, because if I am gonna push you away, it obviously means I want to just be left to my own devices. Yet then somehow the whole pushing away and/or ignoring them turns them onto me even more so :/

Yes, I have always chosen my own company over getting a girlfriend. It doesnt mean I hate women, because I do have plenty that I am on extremely good talking terms with, its just, I don't need a relationship, a friendship is enough for me.

I understand your confusion. But many women have a deep instinct that causes them to HATE being ignored. And if a guy ignores them/pushes them away, it crosses up their signals, because dating gurus often advise guys to ignore a girl if they want her to be interested.

I understand the phenomenon, but it doesn't apply to me.

Silent ignoring isn't clear enough communication. Silence means so many things that it means precisely nothing, nowadays.

SPKx
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 4 Nov 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 299
Location: Toronto

13 Apr 2011, 11:36 pm

I've never had one (not for a lack of trying).

Starlight-Supernova
Velociraptor

Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 430
Location: England, North West

14 Apr 2011, 4:32 am

DemonAbyss10 wrote:

It's like a gift...you're lucky in some way that if it eventually happens, you can pick and choose as you please....but yeah, that must be annoying to you that they seem to not get the message to go away...one of the reasons why I can get annoyed sometimes like you mentioned before where you think "You wouldn't look at me years ago"...although not all woman are like that thankfully.

MichaelDWhite
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 Feb 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 48

14 Apr 2011, 8:23 pm

Still no serious dating and I'm 34. However, I haven't really been trying either. The whole dating scene is just too much effort for too little reward.

byakuugan
Raven
Raven

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 104
Location: Bakersfield, California

16 Apr 2011, 3:20 am

I think that a lot of Aspies develop negative ideas about dating/sex from a young age. I remember when the kids at my school started dating, that was all they ever talked about, and I hated how big of a deal they made about it. Naturally I felt obligated to be different, so I always avoided socializing with girls. Even if a girl waves or says hi to me, I won't say hi back, because in the back of my mind I'm thinking that just by her initiating social contact with me, she is trying to have sex with me.

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