Girl, Four years younger than me is it a no-go?

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not if the 4-years-younger person is a child while you're a big fat late teenager or adult.

Teenagers aren't children, and both of the people we're talking about are teenagers.

lol, yea ...riiiight.

Let me use other terms.

a 13 yo girl might be considered an almost-child girl ( in my opinion she's still a child at this age).

While a 17 yo guy is an almost-adult teen.

Huge difference between them.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 Nov 2010, 5:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

BS! A 13 year old is still very much a child.
You're a 'child' in the UK until you're 16. - You can then get married and whatnot.

It's only pedophilia if sex is involved.

pedophilia means sexual attraction to children.

For a non-asexual guy, he must be sexually attracted to his gf.

And if his gf is a child , then that means he's sexually attracted to a child.

Being attracted to child is a pedophilic feeling.

A person with pedophilic feeling is more likely to commit a pedophilic act.

So this child girl is at risk of being sexually exploited (voluntary or not) by a person with pedophilic feeling.

Child girl's safety is first priority , the guy's "feelings toward her" is the least of my concerns , he can bang the wall.

You know, I recall when I was 17 I started being attracted to same-age and older girls. I started enjoying adult porn that involves women with adult features and that was the case with most guys around my age back then.

A 17 yo attracted to a 12 or 13 yo girl ....isn't so normal.

Sex doesn't have to be involved -- anything even approaching sex or intimacy is illegal with a minor, especially one so young. There are charges like "annoying a child" or molestation that can get slapped on.

And really, what is a romantic relationship except an eventual plan to have sex? What great, life-fulfilling platonic conversations are a 17 year old and a 13 year old going to have?

Josette : You know Jack , I want to live in a biiiiig house with you like Barbie and Ken....

Jack : Yea .....like Barbie .... *drooling*, let's play real Barbie and Ken now!

yes, pedophilia is defined by the attraction, not by whether a sexual act occurs. an attraction is implied by the fact the OP was interested in a romantic relationship, not just a friendship. even if nothing sexual ever technically happened, the potential exists for criminal charges (or even civil charges in some locations). and i don't see anything positive potentially coming out of that, even if he is innocent. those kind of charges stick to you.

There is no law regarding "Attraction."

If he waits until she's old enough before taking things further, then I don't care what they do.

Jesus, when I think of a 13 year old girl, I have to wonder, does she still play with dolls? Does she still have baby teeth? She is a baby to me. Some girls at that age might think they're more mature, but reality soon bites them in the ass.
Of course the consensus among certain males here who are of the 16 to 22 age bracket think it's okay to date a girl like that, but then again, they speak with growing adolescent hormones and the I'm a "Mature Teen" BS.
Asp-Z, I think you're a wise young man, but on this,you're quite wrong.

Sorry, but I think it is a no-go. Unfortunately, even if you made a "cross my heart and hope to die" promise to her parents to stay chaste, the odds are still heavily stacked against you. Men have a very bad reputation when it comes to rape and sexual abuse. Even though you aren't technically an adult until you are 18, the law will probably frown upon your actions (if it's the same as where I live). I type up Court cases for a living, and I've lost count of the number of times I've transcribed a rape or sexual abuse case, some of which were against minors. Sexual abuse of a minor does permanent damage to the victim. They have great difficulty trusting adults or anyone in authority ever again and that continues into their adult lives. They have trouble forming relationships because they don't trust other people, even their own wives and husbands, not to abuse them. Often, counselling has limited success.

Also, even if you never touch her, society in general will lose trust in you. If a single person claims rape or paedophilia, you are in serious trouble with the police, and even if you are found innocent at the end of it, the stigma of the accusation will linger in people's minds. You will find it much harder to date other people as a result. I realise it's a hard pill to swallow, but really, it isn't worth the risk. You need as much protection from misfortune as she does. Stay safe, and good luck finding a more suitable partner.

EDITED TO ADD:

The problem is that it only works if you are 14 and above. Using this rule, a 14 year old can date a 14 year old (7/2+7 = 14), then each subsequent year adds half a year to the result. Thus a 15 year old can date a 14.5 year old (15/2 = 7.5 + 7 = 14.5). But if you are 13 or below, the end result is OLDER than you are (13/2 = 6.5 + 7 = 13.5). A 12 year old has to date a 13 year old (12/2 = 6 +7 = 13) an 11 year old has to date a 12.5 year old (11/2 = 6.5 +7 = 12.5) and so on down. Taking this to its ridiculous conclusion, a one year old has to date an 7.5 year old!!

Basically, while his minimum age is 15.5, hers is 13.5 according to the calculation. That's still too low for him to date, but it halves the gap.

When Elvis Presley was in the army he fell for a 14 year old girl.

He waited until she was 16 and then married her.

Some years later she had it off with her karate teacher and dumped Elvis.

Can you imagine a woman dumping a rich man that every other woman in the world swoons over?

What is it about ultra-rich movie stars that they can't stay married for six months before their partner starts to cheat on them?

if that girl is my daughter and if a 17 old guy tries to pursue her ,I would shoot his balls with a double-barreled shotgun.

i wouldn't actually shoot anyone, but the sentiment is absolutely true. we haven't heard from too many parents on this thread, but it would definitely be a big concern for me if my daughter dated a much-older guy.

she has had boyfriends, so we are not so disapproving or straight-laced, but the boys were close to her age. please note that now that she is 16.5, if she wanted to date a 13-year-old boy that would not be acceptable either!

and no, it would not matter if it was someone famous like Elvis courting her. it would still be unacceptable.