Has any woman here experienced

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yes, creepy does vary depending on what the woman is looking for (but i dunno what you mean about the dirty/smelly/diseased). if a man's desired outcome is just sex, it has a huge potential to freak a girl out if she is seeking an LTR. it comes across as creepy.

very few women just want an easy lay - VERY FEW. they really do exist, but they are not common and the competition to get with a girl like that is very steep. i know an overweight, older middle-aged woman of average looks who was seeking FWB on plentyoffish in a small city. she had 400 responses in a week. 400! whatever her criteria were, she had the leisure to pick and choose.

of course, the reverse is true for the women who want LTR. they have to compete with skinnier/hotter/richer women for the slim pickings. and if that woman has kids or is less than perfect, then she gets labeled as clingy or needy.

Is obstinence a trait an AS males? I mean it took me a while to get it, too.

If Bio or any other Aspie guy wants no strings attached sex, here are his options:

- Go to bars and clubs and if you're not comfortable, learn to be more comfortable in that environment. You'll be able to leave with a woman...maybe not the woman you've been looking at all night, but a woman nonetheless.

- Make a dating profile and pay attention to the women who look at your profile, or search for those exclusively looking for no strings attached sex. They probably won't be that attractive, but they will put out with no drama whatsoever. I have a friend who's slept with over 10 women from plentyoffish and okcupid in the past 2 years. All of them were below his standards, but even he says "p**** is p****" since all he wants is the sex to begin with.

- Go to an escort. You will get the sex without drama or emotion that you want, and it will be with a hot girl of your choosing.

- Become the "bad boy" that pretends to want a relationship and tells the woman everything she's ever wanted to hear, sleep with her, then dump her. Lather, rinse, repeat. I wouldn't recommend doing this, because I'm personally not in the business to hurt people's feelings or get short-term sexual gratification that way, but if you want sex bad enough without the relationship, you'd do what was required.

I think guys see women that say "Please make love to me" on TV shows and movies and think it's that easy in real life. Or they watch porn and see the woman knock on a guy's door and immediately have sex and think that's how it works. The women that do have casual sex are sluts that you wouldn't want to sleep with anyway, even the hot ones. They get around with as many hot guys as possible and get diseases.

So Bio, I strongly suggest you listen to us and if you don't want a relationship, consider those options. If you want sex but "want the girl to want it too as much as you" I'd suggest talking to her like a person and treating her like a person, and maybe she'll feel the same way back. Granted, you might have to be friends with her or date her, God forbid, but you'll get the sex you want.

This is why I often don't have much sympathy for women in the world of relationships--there are virtually NONE who have no options, and have to pick the first guy who will say "yes" no matter what he looks like or how attractive he is, or get nobody. Even for a date, this is true. The only way this isn't true, is if you go for guys who will still be dating her or in a relationship with her six months later, or thereabouts. Then, highly unattractive/undatable women might have it as difficult at this stage as a guy has to just get beyond friends, where "beyond friends" means any sexual or romantic feelings from a woman.

it's like you didn't actually read what i wrote - you skipped this part:



women have it just as hard, but in a different way. many women do have literally NO options - have you seen how many men on here won't date a girl who is a single mother, or overweight, or unintelligent, or poor, or flat-chested, or whatever? you are just ignoring everything that doesn't reinforce your "poor men" attitude.

Hyper, don't listen to him. He's not going to respond positively to anyone who doesn't sympathize with him because he can't get recreational sex.

The question is, how do you define "date"? What level of interest has to be involved there?
I think maybe I don't understand it all because I don't really understand the mentality of people of either gender who are looking for long-term relationships.

Also, sometimes I wonder whether I'm misunderstanding what people mean by being able to "get sex". I mean, if a woman couldn't find a guy who was going to use adequate protection to keep her from getting pregnant or getting a disease, or who would be willing to listen to and accommodate how she wanted to be treated in bed, then I would say that she couldn't get sex, as I think these can be assumed to be necessary for an enjoyable experience.

And yes, as nilescrane said, I do look for women who are sympathetic to my position on this issue. I have found some here on WP, but they live far away. And have read about some others elsewhere.

Even if women sympathize...it means they feel sorry for you...not that they would sleep with you. They either feel sorry that you're a guy who isn't cute and suffers socially and can't get women, or they feel sorry that you "don't get it" and talk to you out of sympathy.

You're alienating a lot of the women and men on this site. It's guys like you that make it harder for normal guys to have sex because women assume the guy just wants them to use them for their body like you do.

And btw, I think the whole "I just want sex, I don't want any feelings" is all talk anyway. I bet the minute you saw a naked woman, you'd get attached to her and obsessed with her.

I think you're making a mistake that I have seen some others make on this board, and which I might have made like five years ago. Namely, confusing feelings like obsession, crushes, etc., with "feelings" like a long term relationship.

Yes, I could very easily become obsessed with a woman, but this would be because of my fascination with her (body or personality), and really has nothing to do with the stable attraction that people in long term relationships feel. The important things about this obsessed fascination are that first it would probably, make that almost definitely, wear off with the novelty of being with her, and also it doesn't prevent me from being fascinated with other women too.

So yes, I could see myself being the kind of person who would fall in and out of love quickly and easily, and passionately if I found a woman who was very attractive to me on a personal level. Or rather fall in and out of obsessive crushes, as some would not even consider those worthy of the word "love". And it doesn't involve "strings attached" in the way women usually mean it. I also understand friendship, and can be attracted to women in that regard too.

Both of those I can feel toward a woman well before I ever see her naked, but the obsessive crush type of thing would be even more likely after. What I don't understand is the exclusive, long-term bond that other people tend to want to come out of either of those. The only such stable, secure attachments I have are to my family, and the main reason for that is how much I've relied on them for things since before I can remember. Don't ask me how it feels to be in a long-term relationship, just I know that the excitement of newness does wear off, and some people manage to not seek another passionate obsession at that point, which is what I almost know I'd do, even if I keep up my friendships with other women (and men) through all this.

But what don't you understand about women not having recreational sex with men who aren't a hunk, well-connected or have superior social or manipulation skills? It's not going to happen.

In my expereince most men fuss about condoms and hate them and do not care how the lady likes sex so you have lost your argument from this point, as under your definintion nearly every woman on this board did not 'get sex'!

Women can easily get relationships and sex


I never get approached by men. Why? Because I'm awkward. NOrmal men don't want an awkward partner. They swarm to normal girls. I worked with two normal girls in a place of 100 men and they pretty much had 100 dicks up their arse (saying) because they were normal. No better or worse looking than me. I didn't get that attraction because I was awkward.

Screw you and your warped views about how easy it is for aspie women. I have no sympathy for you.

hale_bopp, you are like a breath of fresh air.

you have admitted you do not understand the mentality behind LTR. that speaks volumes, because you cannot appreciate other people's (specifically, the majority of women's) struggles because your aims exclude theirs. therefore you must either accept what so many people have told you, or you should at least stop trying to assert the notion that you are somehow at a greater disadvantage than they are. because really, you don't know.

what i mean by "dating"? i am talking about forming an emotional relationship over time. and many, many guys on here say they won't even have sex with a girl who doesn't fit their preconceived idea, and would also never ever consider a relationship with such a girl.

or if they do end up having sex with her or dating, they demonstrate a fundamental lack of respect or affection for her by saying things like, "i did her last week. she's wild, but she's got a fat arse and bad teeth", or "i kind of liked her, but she has kids so i'd never do more than FWB."

Guys have valid reasons for not dating single mothers. In some states a guy can get stuck with having to pay child support for a kid that is not even his.

very few states. and in those places, a woman has the same risk if she dates a single father, but women rarely ever completely exclude single fathers from the dating pool.

EDIT: it also just occurred to me that it is not a valid reason to avoid dating such a woman, as it assumes a breakup will occur and the worst would happen. would it be reasonable for a woman to say that she would never want to date a man who was richer than her because after the breakup she will inevitably have less money than him? (this has been shown by statistics that women are much poorer than men after a divorce). the presumption about single mothers is that they just want child support, and that is an unfair and sexist attitude.

So why are the majority of divorces initiated by the wife?

Courts have almost never ruled that wives have to pay child support. Courts can be biased.

To deny the economic element of human relationships is denying an element of reality.