[edit] more I'M ruining our relationship, not him.

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02 Dec 2010, 4:40 am

Wow - that's great, I really think she can help you. Many women went through this and put their life back together, you're not alone. Regardless of what you think, you deserve a good life and a man who treats you right. Good luck!

BTW - cool avatar

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emlion
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02 Dec 2010, 5:01 am

Thanks ^^ Dexter is awesomee. :heart:

Things are looking much better in the morning (and it's been snowing again & Stefan made me a mini snowman and put him in the freezer for me when I woke up.) He also left me a note saying 'We can do this. I love you.' on the kitchen table.

I think we can make this okay, so we can both be happy.

Erisad
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02 Dec 2010, 8:10 am

emlion wrote:

Thanks ^^ Dexter is awesomee. :heart:

Things are looking much better in the morning (and it's been snowing again & Stefan made me a mini snowman and put him in the freezer for me when I woke up.) He also left me a note saying 'We can do this. I love you.' on the kitchen table.

I think we can make this okay, so we can both be happy.

Awww. See? You can do eeeeet! ^.^

TheWeirdPig
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02 Dec 2010, 11:25 am

emlion wrote:

I'm not kicking him at all - I rarely snap at him specifically, I did once in a really bad way and i'll never do it again. I learned my lesson, because he just backed off and walked away - but that was still standing up to me, as he reacted and didn't just say 'it's okay.'

Things are much better when he stands up to me - we didn't argue hardly at all.
And 'standing up to me' isn't the same as threatening or anything like that.
It just means putting his view across instead of being a doormat.

Here's what I'm understanding, and correct me if I am wrong. You want a balance from him. You very much want him to be a nice guy, you love that he's a nice guy, and you love that he treats you well. But you don't only want him being nice. If you treat him bad and he is upset, you want him to act appropriately. You DO NOT want him to "understand" you or agree with you for the sole sake of keeping the peace. If you are treating him poorly, YOU DESERVE to have him let you know it. he's not doing you any good otherwise. Am I getting this at all?

Having him be up front with you, honest with you, letting you know when he doesn't agree with you, and being assertive with you is NOT AT ALL the same as having someone abuse you. And although having people abuse you and take advantage of you is easy to do, it is not what you ultimately want.

I don't know if your therapist is any good or not, but I do hope she is helping you (I hope that's not a downer . . . I didn't mean it that way).

And you are sticking with him despite the feeling like you don't deserve him. Many may not agree, but I think I think that takes courage.

emlion
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02 Dec 2010, 11:40 am

TheWeirdPig wrote:

emlion wrote:

Yes to all of it, there needs to be a balance, there used to be one and I hope there will be again soon. -

apart from the courage bit, it's just me being selfish. I love him, I don't want to be without him, simple as that (I think anyway.)

Mutate
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02 Dec 2010, 11:58 am

emlion wrote:

bleh, i want to throw up now. you sure bagged an NT there.

emlion
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02 Dec 2010, 11:58 am

Mutate wrote:

emlion wrote:

bleh, i want to throw up now. you sure bagged an NT there.

Sorry...

Kilroy
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02 Dec 2010, 12:14 pm

why are you sorry in your own thread?

emlion
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02 Dec 2010, 12:16 pm

Kilroy wrote:

why are you sorry in your own thread?

I don't like if people are unhappy with what I say.

Kilroy
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02 Dec 2010, 12:20 pm

emlion wrote:

Kilroy wrote:

why are you sorry in your own thread?

I don't like if people are unhappy with what I say.

f**k them!
this is your thread and your life
if these people don't "like it" that you have this problem they can go to hell
people here need to learn that if they don't like someone's problem, flaming isn't the right thing to do
everyone just sits back here and accepts it
you have a common problem for people in your shoes
and people here are just angry because they have nothing and you are saying you are thinking of throwing "what they don't have" away
there is no pleasing them

emlion
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02 Dec 2010, 12:23 pm

I suppose.
I'm not having a good couple of days, is all.

Metal_Man
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02 Dec 2010, 12:25 pm

Mutate wrote:

emlion wrote:

bleh, i want to throw up now. you sure bagged an NT there.

Screw you! So what if he's an NT? He sounds like one of the rare good ones.

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RICKY5
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02 Dec 2010, 12:26 pm

emlion wrote:

Kilroy wrote:

why are you sorry in your own thread?

I don't like if people are unhappy with what I say.

Mutate is a f*****g idiot.

emlion
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02 Dec 2010, 12:28 pm

Thanks, guys.
I'm sorry i'm a complete wreck still today - spent like 3 hours crying earlier.
I realised it's more i'm trying to reason all the bad things i've done by saying he's changed when it's actually i'm trying to 'push' him away.

Yes, he's very much NT, but he's honest and amazing.

hyperlexian
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02 Dec 2010, 12:34 pm

don't be sorry - that was a rude and unnecessary post from Mutate.

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Kilroy
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02 Dec 2010, 12:42 pm

Metal_Man wrote:

Mutate wrote:

emlion wrote:

bleh, i want to throw up now. you sure bagged an NT there.

Screw you! So what if he's an NT? He sounds like one of the rare good ones.

hey now, most NTs are good people, I don't understand the hate they get

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