I go fishing. How do I reel them in?

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Kilroy
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01 Jan 2011, 5:31 pm

Craig28 wrote:

Would it be possible for me to go to a bar, all dressed up, smelling nice and be approached by a woman?

most likely no because you lack confidence and people can sense that

Craig28
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01 Jan 2011, 5:34 pm

Kilroy wrote:

Craig28 wrote:

Would it be possible for me to go to a bar, all dressed up, smelling nice and be approached by a woman?

most likely no because you lack confidence and people can sense that

Born an Aspie and the defining fail about us is the social thing, so yeah, I would never have a chance out and about.

The only option avalible is to be set up by family and people I know.

Kilroy
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01 Jan 2011, 5:38 pm

that's not true
aspies are able to, you know start things with people, but usually have some backbone and such
I've had a lot more success out and about then being set up by friends

Laz
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01 Jan 2011, 5:40 pm

There is no self fullfilling prophecy with AS. If you choose to be static and to live in fear of your limitations then you will get nothing, you loose

menintights
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01 Jan 2011, 5:43 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

menintights wrote:

When you put it that way, you only make us think you're 18 and are ashamedly so.

Are you?

In my experience, this is a typical NT "trap" question. If he says "yes", then he's admitted it. If he says "no", then you will consider this proof that your assumption is correct because he has not admitted the "fact" that he is 18, even if he is actually 21. It is unwinnable for him. Worse, he can't point out the unwinnable nature of this question because you would see that as an attempt to either dodge answering or to find a way of getting round the trap you have set him, thereby "proving" (again) that he is 18 and ashamed. There is no way he can answer this question without confirming your assumption.

Some prefer the term "rhetorical question," and its purpose is exactly as you've described. It's even explicitly stated on Wikipedia.

Craig28
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01 Jan 2011, 5:46 pm

Laz wrote:

There is no self fullfilling prophecy with AS. If you choose to be static and to live in fear of your limitations then you will get nothing, you loose

When society stops looking weirdly at those that are "different", then maybe I'll be able to relax, stop looking over my shoulder and get someplace. But no, I am forever having to regulate NT behaviour to ensure they don't screw me over.

Laz
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01 Jan 2011, 6:14 pm

Society will always do that.

Because society induldges in the dislike of the unlike.

I imagine even if we lived in the utopian society that you talk about craig you would still have exactly the same situation as you do now.

The reason? You enjoy being a victim of circumstances too much.

CrinklyCrustacean
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01 Jan 2011, 6:32 pm

menintights wrote:

Some prefer the term "rhetorical question," and its purpose is exactly as you've described. It's even explicitly stated on Wikipedia.

This is the comman usage of a rhetorical question:

Wikipedia wrote:

Rhetorical questions encourage the listener to think about what the (often obvious) answer to the question must be. When a speaker states, "How much longer must our people endure this injustice?", no formal answer is expected. Rather, it is a device used by the speaker to assert or deny something.

And this is how your question plays out (my bolding):

Wikipedia wrote:

Such questions are used rhetorically, so that the question limits direct replies to be those that serve the questioner's agenda.[2] The traditional example is the question "Have you stopped beating your wife?" Whether the respondent answers yes or no, he will admit to having a wife, and having beaten her at some time in the past. Thus, these facts are presupposed by the question, and in this case an entrapment, because it narrows the respondent to a single answer, and the fallacy of many questions has been committed.

Your question demands an answer and forces him to "admit" he is 18 even if he is actually 21.

MidlifeAspie
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01 Jan 2011, 7:34 pm

18 or 21, it really doesn't matter. Either way he is a child as in my experience there is not a lot of maturing that happens in those 3 years.

CrinklyCrustacean
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01 Jan 2011, 7:38 pm

MidlifeAspie wrote:

18 or 21, it really doesn't matter.

I agree and I think that is why the OP doesn't want to be more specific. However, his precise age wasn't what I was getting at -- it was that menintights asked him to answer, but phrased the question so that if he was 21 and not 18 he couldn't correct her without "proving" her statement was correct.

Craig28
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01 Jan 2011, 8:18 pm

Laz wrote:

The reason? You enjoy being a victim of circumstances too much.

True, I am a victim of circumstances. However, I don't enjoy it.

nick007
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