What is with these other AS people

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Aspie101MD
Tufted Titmouse
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14 Jan 2011, 7:26 pm

Shut the hell up with this "no hope" business, even a blind hog gets an acorn. You want success? f**k looks and go for confidence, keep eye contact but not for too long. Look we've all got issues, I've got emotional barriers that I've got to get over and I have not a clue how the f*** to get over them but I'm not going to lay down. I'm serious go practice talking to yourself in the mirror and observe your face in the mirror and think about it as if it were another person, pay attention to your posture, your eye contact, keep your head up high, look like the spitting image of what you would call "arrogant as hell" but don't act it just be you with a ton of confidence. If you have trouble with social anxiety I would suggest seeing a doctor and getting a script for a benzodiazepine like Alprazolam or Lorazepam, you can use it short term to break social barriers because they relieve anxiety. I'm not claiming to be an expert but I just know you can do it, and this is what I did.



zen_mistress
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14 Jan 2011, 7:56 pm

I know what you mean when you say that you dont believe that you are worth anything to society. I also have many problems which get in the way with me making friends.

One thing you do need to do though, is shake off all these ideas you have about yourself not being worthy.

All the people who rejected you didnt know you, they were just reacting to their opinion and idea of you, and then you absorbed these opinions, and the challenges you already have have become compounded by your internalisation of their opinions.

It takes a lot of work to build self esteem when you have had such a difficult time.

And personally, optimism has never been for me, I do appreciate the way optimistic people brighten up the place, but it has never really been the way I think, I guess I tend to rake the muck in life and I cant really ignore it.

But what we can all do, is work, and build better lives for ourselves. Perhaps you should post in the Haven, especially if you want sympathy, as Love and Dating is more of an "Advice" place than a "Sympathy" place.


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quesonrias
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14 Jan 2011, 11:16 pm

MR20 wrote:
If person's a 28-35 year old virgin there's a reason for it. It's not there fault, they can't help it. There's no hope.


LMAO! Not true. Some people choose it and some people are too afraid to reach out and try. I wouldn't say either is at fault, but I would definitely say that they are both in control, so yes, they can help it. And stating there is no hope for someone who makes choices that aren't popular but are what work for them (for whatever reasons) is as cynical and critical as what you are accusing others of...


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hyperbole
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14 Jan 2011, 11:24 pm

MR20 wrote:
If person's a 28-35 year old virgin there's a reason for it. It's not there fault, they can't help it. There's no hope.


then you say
MR20 wrote:
.First, I don't want sex. Sex w/o marriage is evil.


now you're contradicting yourself just to be argumentative.


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MR20
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14 Jan 2011, 11:49 pm

hyperbole wrote:
MR20 wrote:
If person's a 28-35 year old virgin there's a reason for it. It's not there fault, they can't help it. There's no hope.


then you say
MR20 wrote:
.First, I don't want sex. Sex w/o marriage is evil.


now you're contradicting yourself just to be argumentative.



How? Just because I think it's wrong doesn't mean other people do. Doesn't stop people from asking for advice on how to laid on this site and being a virgin at that age is pathetic according to society and cultural standards. :roll:



MR20
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15 Jan 2011, 12:02 am

quesonrias wrote:
MR20 wrote:
If person's a 28-35 year old virgin there's a reason for it. It's not there fault, they can't help it. There's no hope.


LMAO! Not true. Some people choose it and some people are too afraid to reach out and try. I wouldn't say either is at fault, but I would definitely say that they are both in control, so yes, they can help it. And stating there is no hope for someone who makes choices that aren't popular but are what work for them (for whatever reasons) is as cynical and critical as what you are accusing others of...


Obviously I'm not talking about those type of people now am I. I mean the people there too ugly, weird, low functioning, unsocial, or uneducated to get a girl to talk to them let alone go out with them. If they're a virgin at that age then they are destined to spend the rest of their live alone. There is no hope for them.



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15 Jan 2011, 12:34 am

The only people there are no hope for are people who refuse to accept that there is hope.

You may never be the person you want to be, but there are still steps we can take to acquire some traits of that person we would like to have.

Realizing a shortcoming is the first step in making an effort to change it.



hale_bopp
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15 Jan 2011, 12:56 am

This person is obviously causing trouble for the sake of it. No-one would use the excuses he does which can all be fixed with a bit of money (Medication, hygene, a decent shirt, a bus to the polytech to find out about courses) and then say he blows it all on video games.



MidlifeAspie
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15 Jan 2011, 1:03 am

hale_bopp wrote:
This person is obviously causing trouble for the sake of it.


Yes. I can't believe I keep coming back here and each time there is another page of posts. :)



MR20
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15 Jan 2011, 1:07 am

hale_bopp wrote:
This person is obviously causing trouble for the sake of it. No-one would use the excuses he does which can all be fixed with a bit of money (Medication, hygene, a decent shirt, a bus to the polytech to find out about courses) and then say he blows it all on video games.


There are no excuses. I don't need any meds. Most of time it's the wrong kind and it makes you worse than you already are, I've seen it first hand with my sister.

I don't need to spend money on clothes. I don't like doing it and it's pointless because I don't go anywhere.

I love video games, I spend most of my money on them because I really like playing and they help me cope.



MR20
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15 Jan 2011, 1:09 am

Like I said before, If you don't to be here get out of the thread.

No one's forcing you to post in here.



hale_bopp
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15 Jan 2011, 1:11 am

MR20 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
This person is obviously causing trouble for the sake of it. No-one would use the excuses he does which can all be fixed with a bit of money (Medication, hygene, a decent shirt, a bus to the polytech to find out about courses) and then say he blows it all on video games.


There are no excuses. I don't need any meds. Most of time it's the wrong kind and it makes you worse than you already are, I've seen it first hand with my sister.

I don't need to spend money on clothes. I don't like doing it and it's pointless because I don't go anywhere.

I love video games, I spend most of my money on them because I really like playing and they help me cope.


YOU NEED MEDS. Sorry, but you're completely in denial. You make no effort to make yourself feel better. You could help yourself and don't, some people are homeless with no money to blow on videogames, so why do you expect people here to feel sorry for you?



astaut
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15 Jan 2011, 1:25 am

MidlifeAspie wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
This person is obviously causing trouble for the sake of it.


Yes. I can't believe I keep coming back here and each time there is another page of posts. :)


Yeah, the OP has said in another thread that is just posting until someone tells him to off himself, so I don't think he actually cares to accomplish anything.


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Chronos
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15 Jan 2011, 3:16 am

MR20 wrote:
Like I said before, If you don't to be here get out of the thread.

No one's forcing you to post in here.


No one's forcing you to spend all of your time and money on video games rather than go out. You chose to, probably because going out is actually out of your comfort zone. But sometimes we have to take ourselves a little outside of our comfort zone in life to improve our life.



nostromo
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15 Jan 2011, 6:13 am

hyperbole wrote:
but here's the thing, I think several of us have offered suggestions and help and what we can do in the other thread .(...somewhere else, because I'm too zaniflexed to think of the name or location ) and you just don't seem to be open to the possibility of more. The only one who seems to have given up on you is YOU.

He has a point though in that he says he's tried before, and a bunch of people giving advice is one thing, but being able to execute is another. An analogy would be telling my elderly mother to read a manual and write a C program, or fix the transmission in her car. Not impossible but very unlikely.

I think MR20 needs some actual practical help from other people, rather than the written advice kind. Some coaching and assisting, I've seen some case examples of this at work including helping an Aspie guy get a girlfriend when he didn't have the skills to (but he was quite motivated).



deadeyexx
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15 Jan 2011, 8:55 am

MR20 wrote:
deadeyexx wrote:
MR20 wrote:
I can play video games well. I can watch anime, the Disney and Nickelodeon channel, and listen to Christan and grunge music for most of the time throughout the day.


OK. Lots of people do that stuff. Go to game stores, anime showings, and concerts. But do it because you like to. Not to because you expect to meet people.


Like i have money for that stuff. I use the money left over from my crazy check to by video games. I usually send my mom to the store for me.

I have a huge problem with crowds of people going back to my middle school days.


Well, you're not ready for a social life or girlfriend then. Both of those require money to do things and being around many people. You need to stop complaining about lacking stuff you wouldn't be able to handle anyway.

Work on getting out in the world more.