how important are looks to you in a partner?

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Meow101
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15 Feb 2011, 9:14 pm

Space wrote:

I love "hot" girls... My dilemma is I have never had luck getting them! This is odd in a way, because I would consider myself to be a good match for a "hot" girl. I'm 6"2, muscular, nice eyes, have a well paying job, etc. I still have the AS downfalls though, and don't have many NT friends (so this probably affects my chances too).

I used to only want to date really attractive women, but I lowered my standards quite a bit so that I could actually get a woman. I'm not saying bad looking per-se, but average, and a few chubby women, "bigger", etc.

Right now I have a pretty cool NT girlfriend. She's 25, very intelligent (in her last year of veterinary medicine), and is not prudish (she loves sex). She is attractive, but definitely not one of the "hot" girls. Basically, she is looks-wise a good looking girl who is a bit bigger and could lose some weight.

My problem is, after all these years of no women and I finally get a girl who I can connect with on some level and wants to be with me, I still want a better looking one. Insane, isn't it?

How important are looks to you in your partner?

Maybe if you stopped looking at the outside and started trying to have a relationship (really, not just a superficial one), this would stop being such an issue...btw, does your girlfriend know you don't consider her "good enough"? *ugh*

To answer your question, looks are somewhat important to me, as in, I have to be attracted to a person physically to sustain a relationship, but what that means is different for me than it may be for someone else (conventional, Brad Pitt type attractiveness is not a "must".)

~Kate

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Space
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15 Feb 2011, 9:17 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Space wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

I hope your partner dumps you, I feel sorry for her, does she know you're constantly shopping for someone else?

You sure are bitter.

I'm not bitter, I just think you're being a complete arse.

I think you've made some good points, especially about make up, but I'm really not a bad guy. I like the girl I am with and am trying to make it work with her. It doesn't mean that I'm blind to other women though. I'm actually a pretty nice guy if you get to know me

hale_bopp
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15 Feb 2011, 9:23 pm

Space wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Space wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

I hope your partner dumps you, I feel sorry for her, does she know you're constantly shopping for someone else?

You sure are bitter.

I'm not bitter, I just think you're being a complete arse.

I remember ages ago about you using a woman who loved you until you could find better. Repeat offender doesn't seem like a nice guy.

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15 Feb 2011, 9:24 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

I've got a case study.

Katy Perry always looks glamourous and Pretty. Many of you might look at a semi natural looking pic and think shes not wearing makeup, when news break, shes caked in it:

Here is a picture I got were the guy who posted it said: "Here is Katy Perry without makeup" She looks very pretty, but sorry guys, shes wearing foundation, blusher, eyeliner mascara and probably lip gloss in this pic. In other words, a LOT of makeup.

Here is a real picture of her bare faced. A lot of the guys around the world probably cried. But to me, this is just the bare face of a regular woman.

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

She looks so much better without her make up. Make up is a f***ing lie.

I don't think she looks bad, It's just not a very flattering second in time when he took the pic. But its quite a cotrast to the "no makeup" picture I posted above.

Fudo
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15 Feb 2011, 10:22 pm

Kaybee wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

emlion wrote:

Quote:

A lot of women say this, but then boom, they're dating some tall, square jawed pretty boy. They'll attribute reasons like his personality and confidence as to why they like him, but in the end, they're dating him because he's sexy.

I stopped reading after this.

We must be twins!

Triplets!

lol i stopped too but out of boredom, i'm guessing you're all making some kind of point? :lol:

fudo is oblivious.

emlion
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16 Feb 2011, 6:24 am

Fudo wrote:

Kaybee wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

emlion wrote:

Quote:

I stopped reading after this.

We must be twins!

Triplets!

lol i stopped too but out of boredom, i'm guessing you're all making some kind of point? :lol:

fudo is oblivious.

I hate people telling me what I think.

Kaybee
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16 Feb 2011, 8:23 am

emlion wrote:

Fudo wrote:

Kaybee wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

emlion wrote:

Quote:

I stopped reading after this.

We must be twins!

Triplets!

lol i stopped too but out of boredom, i'm guessing you're all making some kind of point? :lol:

fudo is oblivious.

I hate people telling me what I think.

I'm not interested in things said by people who confidently assert inaccurate over-generalizations.

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Space
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19 Feb 2011, 10:04 am

case in point:

Last night I was at a school function for my girlfriend. We are entering the couple's phase, and I was being introduced to her friends (all of whom had a boyfriend or are married). I couldn't help but notice the other hot girls at the function, and think girl X is better looking than the one I have, is my girl good looking enough? etc. This has to be insanity? I am trying not to repeat the mistakes I have made in past relationships, but my mind seems to go for the worse when I am actually in a relationship it seems. I think maybe all those years of porn, escorts, drugs, etc. have twisted my thinking a bit. I am really trying to avoid comparing herself or myself to other people, and be content with what we have today. So, I still have some of those feelings, but I recognize that they are crazy and ignore them. Is that about right?

deadeyexx
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19 Feb 2011, 4:17 pm

Space wrote:

You're experiencing greed. It's the insecurity that remains after being on rock bottom for so long. To get where you are now, it probably took a lot of self-improvement and you're still programmed to keep going. Continuing on that path is an endless cycle, and you need to concentrate on being happy, not better. Especially before you mess up what you have and regress.

I'll bet a lot of guys at that event were jealous of your girlfriend too.

Moog
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19 Feb 2011, 8:11 pm

I think that good looks in a partner are a waste. I'd prefer them to be external.

Quote:

So, I still have some of those feelings, but I recognize that they are crazy and ignore them. Is that about right?

That's insight. Keep it up.

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Sweetleaf
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19 Feb 2011, 9:09 pm

Looks are little bit important, I probably could not date someone I had no physical attraction to whatsoever......but everyone defines attractiveness differently me and my sister have fairly opposite views. For instance my sister prefers guys with short hair who wear niceish clothes........I prefer guys with long hair who maybe throw on a band shirt and jeans.

I care much more about personality then looks though.......and I would also have to be with someone who enjoys some of the same activities as me. I mean I was always confused as to why my dad always had to 'go out' to have a beer and why my parents never just sat down and enjoyed a couple beers together....thats what I would prefer. As for financial status I don't care much about that I would rather be broke and with someone I have a connection with then alone and financially stable for instance.

DiabloDave363
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19 Feb 2011, 9:18 pm

i hate to say it but looks mean a s**t ton to me. but personality also means alot to me. so for me to date a girl they have to hav both. luckil;y my current gf has both =D

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19 Feb 2011, 10:47 pm

When I was young my mother said to me:

"Don't pay too much attention to a girl's looks. After you have been married a few years you won't even NOTICE what she looks like or what she is wearing"

So true.

nostromo
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19 Feb 2011, 11:18 pm

Wombat wrote:

Haha! she sounds like a bit of a character!

SoulcakeDuck
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20 Feb 2011, 12:26 am

Very. I only get attracted to naturally beautiful girls/guys. I demand natural good looks not enhanced and manipulated through fashion and heavy makeup. Dressing up for parties and such is understandable, but if I'm together with someone I want to walk around with him/her indoors wearing raggedy ass soft clothes and have a pretty face to look at.

But if they don't have a good personality it doesn't matter how good looking they are. Out!

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20 Feb 2011, 12:35 am

As long as I find them attractive, then I don't care

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