Feeling unattracted to my NT gf

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heh i'm 99% sure she was.

Don't worry, I was (& I think Alone was too, judging from his previous stance on this thread)

When I used to date, my relationships followed a similar pattern. For the first few days or weeks I felt excitement and attraction towards the woman, but these positive emotions would quickly turn negative. I felt stressed, anxious, fearful and overwhelmed. Throughout the whole period there was a growing feeling of confusion. I was not sure if I was attracted to the woman--if I was in "love" with her. The relationship would end after a few weeks or months, usually with me initiating the break-up. Once it was over, I did not feel sad. Instead, I felt a profound sense of relief, and usually a couple of years would go by before I pursued another relationship.

I do not know if this is/was an autism / Asperger's syndrome thing. For me, all interpersonal relationships and face-to-face communication are difficult and draining. Another part of the problem may have been trying to fit another person into the routines of my life. It often seems like most of my time and energy is used up just trying to get by in this world--I have difficulty making decisions and I rely heavily on structure and routine. All relationships require time and energy, and other people are unpredictable, so I struggled with trying to make romantic relationships work on top of everything else. (Would dating someone with autism/ Asperger's be any better?) I suppose a lot depends upon your level of functioning. There are people with autism/ Asperger's who are able to successfully navigate marriage and family.

Over the years, I have met a couple of people who claimed to have experienced love at first sight. They said that they knew they would marry their partner the first day they met him or her. I am not sure if this is a realistic goal for most people. Instead, I think you have to figure out what positive characteristics a potential romantic partner must have, and what negative characteristics s/he must not have. You keep searching until you find someone who meets those qualities and then you stop. Yes, there may be someone better out there, but if you think like that you will never be happy with whatever choice you make.


"We are flawed creatures, all of us. Some of think that means we should fix our flaws. But get rid of my flaws and there would be no one left." - Sarah Vowell


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keTmxJcIjEs
http://www.absolutelyrics.com/lyrics/vi ... ne_i_love/

It is nice to get dressed up, but it is dumb to pretend to agree with what someone says, or put up with crap from them, or lose weight for someone who wont accept you. There is no point in dating and presenting a you that frankly doesnt exist. If nobody pretended to be what they werent on dates then dating would be a heck of a lot easier.

....

What's amazing to me is that each person is a unique and powerful self aware entity. We are bound up in our mating instincts but at the same time we are capable of recognizing them.

Get out. She's putting you through this after only two months? Disrespectful.

I'm in the same situation. Been dating a girl for 6 years. In the last year and a half she's ballooned up by 30 pounds. I kept my mouth shut for 6 months waiting for her to go back to how she was. Now my friends ask me what's wrong with our relationship. They know there's something off when one partner gains a ton of weight. It's embarrassing because people assume we have all these emotional problems. Finally we joined a gym together and she lost maybe 10 pounds - but it's barely noticeable. She takes an antidepressant so I think this is the main source of the weight gain I'm miserable because I am no longer sexually attracted. The only thing keeping me around is that I love her as a person. But we don't have sex very often anymore. Girls have made passes at me and I turn them down because I couldn't bare to cheat, but I'll admit I'm tempted because I don't get the goods at home anymore. It's not painted red, but it's Hell. Head for zee hills!!

oh my god 30 pounds, such a massive amount of weight to put on.
glad to know 30 pounds cancels out six years of 'love'.