What is your ideal man/woman?

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Maybe i should make amendments to include you.... Do you own stilts? Clowns can be sexy.

Clowns are terrifying!

Though if I was one, I wouldn't have to see myself...so I suppose.

Damn gal, you are making this harder then it has to be.

Respectably independent, not too tall (below 5' 5"). Computer literate. Not the jealous type, not a party person. Quiet and reserved - intelligent to the extent of where I don't have to spell everything for her. (I've had this issue prior). It seems to create turbulence in the relationship. I usually could do her work faster - but then again I lack initiative.

Oh yes, a proficiency in dealing with me.... that is the main problem involved.

Physically I have no preferences, its all a matter of personality.

I's confuzzled now...

I was offering a solution that you weren't to keen on. I was expressing displeasure at my suggestion being shot down, even in the hypothetical sense.

Oh...

Physically healthy, or not unhealthily under or overweight. I don't have or require perfect health.

Respectful of independence, as nobody owns nobody, ever.

Intellectually honest, and smart enough to keep up with me and intrigue me.

Sexually open and experimental, more experienced than me a plus.

Preferring to act with patience and kindness, and not defensive about my expressions of admiration. Take a compliment for what it is, please.

Race, sex, or age not very important, but cultural bigotedness a deal-breaker.

Serial monogamists may find this hard to accept, but you'll enjoy me more as a partner if you don't rely on me for all your needs, and I haven't met one person who wants to meet all of mine. Experience suggests it takes three people to handle all the love I have to give, but that's not a rule or anything. My current status as polyamorous and single does not make me reject my foundational belief that nobody owns nobody, ever.

Erisad, if you believe that you are unattractive, then so will everyone else. Believe in yourself, and you've already won half the battle.

Do you mean, "thin"? Erisad, from your avatar (if that is you) you seem attractive enough that if I were a single man of your age, I might feel too intimidated to approach you.

To put it bluntly, they were not sincere in their love for you if they could be so easily 'stolen' by women that were merely pretty.

... until a really gorgeous hunk-of-babelisciousness came along, and then those guys would have forgotten all about you. Trust me, if a guy can be 'stolen' by good looks alone, then by now those men have been 'stolen' from the same women who 'stole' those men from you!

As I said before, I've been with heavyset women before, and what attracted me to them the most was the way they behaved at first - and what killed my interest in them was also their behavior, which deteriorated as time went along.

YOU! ARE! NOT! UGLY!

None. When the love is ready, the lover will arrive.

'Soulmate' is a myth. There is no such thing as the one perfect match for every individual. My mother used to say that it is just as easy to fall in love with an 'ugly' person as with a 'pretty' person, but you have to look past mere static appearance and consider the dynamics of behavior. I've been with some women whose looks would make Miss Turkey feel like garbage, but who were shallow, narcissistic, and utterly controlling of everyone around them. I've also been with some women whose looks would not seem to deserve a second glance, but who have been married to the same man for 30 years or more, and whose children think they are the most beautiful women in the world.

Two important truths to remember: (1) Sexy is as sexy does; and (2) If you don't believe in your own beauty, no one else will either.

Trust me; I'm a man with enough years behind him to know what genuine beauty is really all about!

Right. The larger girls that believe themselves get a worse rap from people for being "delusional."




Thin = attractive. As far as the modern world is concerned, they are one and the same.

My avatar is a rare photo that actually looks good without serious editing. I just cropped out my lower half to make it much better. I look good from the boobs up.




I guess stolen is the wrong word. They cheated on me with those women. Well, one of them cheated on me with a guy, which hurt a lot more since he was my first bf.




*trying to follow train of thought and brain explodes*




Can you blame them for being insecure though? We're always the women that get screwed over in relationships.




...no need to yell. >.<




This makes no sense at all. I would have lost opportunities as the person wouldn't have seen me at my most attractiveness. I could be having a bad day or their attention could be distracted by a different girl. The lover won't magically appear when I'm ready. If that was the case, I'd never be single.




Why do you think I put "soulmate" in quotes? I don't really believe in it either but it sounds better than, "man who will tolerate me because he has no other options."

[sarcasm]
Then maybe *I* am the stupid one for having loved some heavier women.
[/saracsm]

No, I'm not.

Thin = thin. Attractiveness involves more than just skin-and-bones.

It also leaves much to the imagination. Maybe you are just 'Rubenesque' ... ?

Again, they really did not love you, especially if they 'cheated'. Sure, your heart has been broken, but you also learned something about men... we're all horndogs, and most of us will chase just about any tail that wags our way.

Sorry. My point is that if you looked like the woman that stole your bf, chances are that he could still have been stolen by an even prettier woman. It's similar to the problem that the "Other Woman" has; if she could steal a man from another woman, then that man can be stolen from her, and so on...

Every woman, no matter how pretty, eventually gets screwed over. Looks have little if anything to do with it. Again, men are horndogs, and most will chase just about any tail that wags their way.

Sorry, I seem to have had this same conversation many times over...

Okay ... look at it this way: When you have regained enough self-confidence that your self-image is no longer dependant upon having a boyfriend, you will find yourself relatively inundated with attention - but not until then, mind you.

Ahh ... I wish that I could hook you up with someone worthy, but most of the men your age that I know would run roughshod over your self-esteem. Please trust me; you need to wait a while for a man whose maturity matches your own, and who will love you for the person you are and not just for the body you inhabit.

What I want in real life:
He has to like me for who I am (being and aspie and all)
We have to encourage each other to live healthy lifestyles (food and exercise)
Smart or funny
Have a good job
LDS (or at least for marriage and for kids)
Live with good morals
A nice person in general

What I want in dream life:
He has blond hair(preferably with brown highlights) and blue eyes
Smart and funny +
Have a good job, while letting me have a job and still being able to raise good kids
Never criticize anything about my appearance
Someone who is an aspie who somewhat understands social stuff (enough to get ahead in life, but not so much so I feel like an imbecile around him)
A runner
He sings

Um...I don't think so. I don't really have curves. I kinda look like a barrel in modern day clothing. I'd wear my wench garb all the time if I could as that's the only time where I feel semi-attractive.



Yup and it was a painful lesson to learn.



That will take a very long time, as I've hated myself since I was 10 years old, when my meds collided with the hormones from puberty and turned me into a little linebacker. My self esteem was tortured and raped by peers and the men in my life. They made me learn my place: I'm a fat nothing. I'll never mean anything until I get down to 120 pounds but I have a shot if I'm 130-140. I'm at 220 at the moment. So I'm far gone.




But I only have so much time. I don't want to be having kids in my late thirties. I want to be there for my future children and actually have the energy to keep up with them. The biological clock only lasts for so long. Sorry if I'm being difficult. You don't have to respond anymore if you don't want to. >.<

I can't say that I have an ideal man/woman. My ideal woman however would be someone that could I have bit of banter with.. and a lover of food and travel

To put it simply, just someone who can understand my way of thinking and has a good sense of humor.

I'm sorry that things are so difficult for you.

Hail Eris!