24 Apr 2015, 10:01 pm
BTDT wrote:
You underestimate your skills. You understand what you boss wants. Not like that Adam fellow, who got canned for working on stuff that was for too expensive for the company to sell.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_%282009_film%29
mind-blindness cost him his job at a toy manufacturing company
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_%282009_film%29
mind-blindness cost him his job at a toy manufacturing company
It's a fantasy flick. From the Wikipedia article:
"Beth Buchwald (Byrne), a school teacher and aspiring children's book writer, moves into the apartment above his and they strike up an awkward friendship. One night, Beth is shocked to find him trying to clean her apartment windows suspended from the roof of the building in a spacesuit.
Beth takes a liking to Adam despite his oddities. Adam hopes for a relationship, but the first attempts are uneasy due to his fear of social interaction. Eventually he breaks out of his beloved routines enough to be able to date Beth."
In the real world, she'd get a restraining order on him and he'd be forced to move out of his apartment.
25 Apr 2015, 12:55 am
Diningroom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
A steady job is a good sign for a relationship because it indicates adequate communication skills. If you constantly get canned from jobs, how are you going to handle a relationship?
unless that guy is a self observed naracsitic as*hole.
I've never been fired from a job. the one I have keeps bringing me back again and again. landing a job is so near impossible here unless you know the boss. which is how I got my current seasonal job. and how most everyone there got it too.
Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.
Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).
unfortunately that whole all aspies are gifted is just another generalization. lots of us are just as plain as a lot of nts.
I have no gift. I am not good with tech. I can't play musical instruments, can't draw/paint/sculpt, such at math and writing, theres nothing I'm gifted at like a lot of other aspies. sure theres a bunch who are and thats what people and aspies assume is true for all. I wouldn't fit in at those places.this is the problem with all the places who want to hire aspies they are under the same false generalization. those those who aren't gifted it sucks and then we get the added suckiness of everyone saying and thinking we have some gift.
"oh he might struggle socially but I'm sure he'll make money via the gift, like that guy who painted all of ny or the one who plays the piano great."
though suppose its better then having a gift and only been seen as said gift and not a person. though you seem to be in the 3rd option.
hilaryy_renee_
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 13 Oct 2014
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 176
Location: SoCal ~ Los Angeles
25 Apr 2015, 1:33 am
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. 
25 Apr 2015, 10:25 am
sly279 wrote:
Diningroom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
A steady job is a good sign for a relationship because it indicates adequate communication skills. If you constantly get canned from jobs, how are you going to handle a relationship?
unless that guy is a self observed naracsitic as*hole.
I've never been fired from a job. the one I have keeps bringing me back again and again. landing a job is so near impossible here unless you know the boss. which is how I got my current seasonal job. and how most everyone there got it too.
Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.
Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).
unfortunately that whole all aspies are gifted is just another generalization. lots of us are just as plain as a lot of nts.
I have no gift. I am not good with tech. I can't play musical instruments, can't draw/paint/sculpt, such at math and writing, theres nothing I'm gifted at like a lot of other aspies. sure theres a bunch who are and thats what people and aspies assume is true for all. I wouldn't fit in at those places.this is the problem with all the places who want to hire aspies they are under the same false generalization. those those who aren't gifted it sucks and then we get the added suckiness of everyone saying and thinking we have some gift.
"oh he might struggle socially but I'm sure he'll make money via the gift, like that guy who painted all of ny or the one who plays the piano great."
though suppose its better then having a gift and only been seen as said gift and not a person. though you seem to be in the 3rd option.
Ummm, I'm not gifted. Nor are most of my Aspie colleagues. Gifted implies some sort of innate, incredible, out-of-nowhere-in-a-little-kid like a Jay Greenberg or a Joshua Bell.
I'm pretty smart, work hard and mostly take direction well. Fell into investment banking because I was d.o.n.e after a year of grad school and, ummm, it is kind of fun.
25 Apr 2015, 10:53 am
WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,197
Location: California, United States
25 Apr 2015, 12:40 pm
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen.
is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?
25 Apr 2015, 2:18 pm
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen.
is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?
Yes.
25 Apr 2015, 7:09 pm
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen.
is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?
Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.
25 Apr 2015, 8:11 pm
Gauldoth wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen.
is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?
Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.
Men can too. If a guy's willing to walk up enough girls in, say, a bar and say "wanna hook up, now?, willing to take 100s rejections, some girl will eventually say "yes". Not unlike the zillion monkeys with a zillion typewriters for a zillion years will eventually write "Hamlet".
Now that I think about it, there are slightly more women than men on the planet, a *shortage* of men, if you will, so it should be easier for men than women to find a relationship/hookup. (And that's when you're looking at the under-50s, before more men start dying younger than women!).
sorrowfairiewhisper
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 837
Location: United Kingdom Dorset
25 Apr 2015, 8:15 pm
25 Apr 2015, 8:18 pm
Diningroom wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen.
is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?
Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.
Men can too. If a guy's willing to walk up enough girls in, say, a bar and say "wanna hook up, now?, willing to take 100s rejections, some girl will eventually say "yes". Not unlike the zillion monkeys with a zillion typewriters for a zillion years will eventually write "Hamlet".
Now that I think about it, there are slightly more women than men on the planet, a *shortage* of men, if you will, so it should be easier for men than women to find a relationship/hookup. (And that's when you're looking at the under-50s, before more men start dying younger than women!).
True, but unfortunately it seems most women only view a small handful of top men as viable sex partners, and won't even look at lesser men until they're in need of a provider, and that's a role I'm not willing to fulfill.
This isn't a charity. I'm not running a flophouse for washed-up, failed Plain Janes here.
26 Apr 2015, 9:21 am
Gauldoth wrote:
Diningroom wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen.
is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?
Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.
Men can too. If a guy's willing to walk up enough girls in, say, a bar and say "wanna hook up, now?, willing to take 100s rejections, some girl will eventually say "yes". Not unlike the zillion monkeys with a zillion typewriters for a zillion years will eventually write "Hamlet".
Now that I think about it, there are slightly more women than men on the planet, a *shortage* of men, if you will, so it should be easier for men than women to find a relationship/hookup. (And that's when you're looking at the under-50s, before more men start dying younger than women!).
True, but unfortunately it seems most women only view a small handful of top men as viable sex partners, and won't even look at lesser men until they're in need of a provider, and that's a role I'm not willing to fulfill.
This isn't a charity. I'm not running a flophouse for washed-up, failed Plain Janes here.
Your attitude probably goes a long way to explaining your lack of dates/girlfriends.
It makes me happy to think my fellow girls (Aspie and NT) have the sense to see Galudoth-esque guys for who they are and give them a wide berth.
Seriously. Who needs a broke dude with a massive chip on his shoulder? What positive contribution can such a dude make to the life of a financially stable, somewhat pretty girl?
26 Apr 2015, 9:56 am
26 Apr 2015, 10:06 am
sorrowfairiewhisper wrote:
It's better to wait till you find someone special, then have multiple failed relationships down the line.
Agree. Multiple failed relationships aren't like long CVs. They are more like your criminal records.
WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,197
Location: California, United States
26 Apr 2015, 2:37 pm
rdos wrote:
sorrowfairiewhisper wrote:
It's better to wait till you find someone special, then have multiple failed relationships down the line.
Agree. Multiple failed relationships aren't like long CVs. They are more like your criminal records.
although I don't condone at all what he did, George Sodini, who was 48 years of age at the time, and his eventual death(he killed himself), this is what he said in his blog, that I found painful to read:
"Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone," he wrote. "I see twenty something couples everywhere. I see a twenty something guy with a nice twentyish young women. I think those years slipped right by for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone?"
26 Apr 2015, 6:01 pm
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