Dating sites. Are they worth it?

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Eharmony was really where the meeting up for no chemistry seemed to happen like a broken record. On the other hand when I tried OKC I notice that my luck at even getting responses was drastically different - I'd get responses regularly or even be hit up with questions perhaps once or twice a weak - with OKC it was deafening silence, both in terms of getting contacts and in terms of at least maybe 20 girls I contacted and got nothing back from? OKC is low enough in volume as well that it seemed like I maybe saw a dozen people who were even interesting, contacted them - tapped out the pool, what then?

I could always try it again I'm sure but it might be a while before the motivation comes back.

na never even considered using internet dating as a resource to meet women, It's not for me I'd rather try my damned hardest to find someone in 'the real world'.

If you're not getting dates, tinker around with your strategy until you find one that works for you.

I had something of a dry first month, but I had good luck by going back and redoing my match questions on OKC. Over the course of the second/third month I tried to contact maybe twelve people. Of those, four replied back, and the one I felt I really clicked with I met. What was ironic was how generic her profile was compared to how quirky she was, so in that context trying to contact most of the people in my higher match percentage was a very good idea.

That said, I'm left leaning in a very right wing area, and since women (I'm guessing single women in their late twenties/early thirties more than most) tend to lean a bit more to the left, I had something of an advantage there. I also had an odd profile, which might have dissuaded most but was evidently interesting for some, and I'm not terribly picky over the internetz when it comes down to body type/ethnicity/etc. All those combined resulted in better than average results IMO. One last thing I noticed is that during certain parts of the year activity rises, so IME it's best to stick it out over the course of several months.

Well, I made a second profile on POF, this one looking for" intimate encounters".

Got three responses in the first 12 hours. Several views, some from "nice girls" I had messaged earlier too!

Women don't want the guy from The Princess Bride I guess.

For me actually I'm thinking politics and being center-right really didn't hit me hard. It was two things I think; first having a picture that wasn't as masculine as I would have liked (I looked a bit babyfaced and nimbish - they don't like that unless they're ubber Christian or doctor's daughters), the real deal breaker probably was that under interests I did say something about being into underground electronic music - which is as bad as saying you're into skateboards, video games, and death metal. The girls who would like a guy who's into hard electronic probably saw my picture, saw a soft rock or country guy and passed on me. The girls who wanted Toby McGwire saw my profile and couldn't understand a word of it.

That's actually been the hard story of my life. Quite sadly your looks and your interests will pigeonhole you and, if your personality and physical/genetic appearance (who you look like you should be) is out of sync with that, it ends up amounting to something pretty close to 'you're not right for anyone'.

I think lilypad's charts apply perfectly when it comes to the dating sites.

Not everything he says is total bs.

lilypad had some good points.
Sadly he was unable to commit to the rule about treating each member respectfully and we received several complaints about him that lead to an ultimatum/banning.
For the record said ultimatum said that I liked having him around here because he provided a different perspective, however he needed to learn how to do that without making an offensive remark towards female kind at every post.
Some male/female members have had a similar attitude but were able to behave properly when we made them aware of the complaints, he wasnt.

+1



funny, I've never thought about it this way, that it might be the wiring and not a "preference" shaped by experience. when I think of it though, most of the successful couples I know did not have "chemistry" to begin with, at least not in a mutual way, and yet they stuck together, which I've always found odd. I wonder if it might have something to do with dominant intuitive perception, would definitely make sense at least in my case.