Am I boring?

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For the record, I was just teasing Grisha (and going off based on what he had on his OKC profile). I've met him a few times now and money/success/fanning $100 bills have never been lorded over me obnoxiously.

Grisha has worked hard at what he has and deserves all the success that comes with it.

All this is true - except that I actually spend like a drunken sailor on shore leave...

Having read all the previous posts and become increasingly confused, I've decided to ignore most of them

Grisha, no you're not boring.

Anyone would be stuck for stuff to say if they talked on the phone every day.
Maybe you could do more bits n pieces in the real world so you'd have things to talk about?

I admire your ability to do phone type stuff, I never use the phone, except to speak to my mother. Fortunately I'm blessed with the wonders of text messaging, facebook, and a bloke with a car. (Plus the lack of an entire continent between us.)

Also, I kind of get where Smudge is coming from. I think that while it is good you feel able to be open about worries you are having, and men should be as open as women about them, I wonder about the advisability of posting about stuff too much on WP, instead of focussing on talking to your lass about them.

But then I am more private than you by nature, and I don't think I could expose myself in quite the way you do. Maybe your way is the right way. Dunno.

Trust me: Your way is the right way, I'm just figuring things out as I go (with a little help from my friends)...

I'd get this down you if I were you:

Ugh - well it certainly wouldn't look any worse when it came back up...

No likey? Tsk. Suit yourself.

Perhaps this would be better?

Now that looks tasty...

Hey, this is between me and smudge.
Mind your own business, duh!

And an appropriate old Arabian saying: " Who stepped on your tail?"

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 04 Dec 2011, 2:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Is it true that the Arabs have a saying that goes something like "a thousand dicks in your religion"?

No here!! dedicate a thread in the adult section for this.

Are you boring? It baffles me that you would ask anyone but your gf - because she's the only one who's opinion matters. If you're not boring to her, you don't have a problem.

Honestly, what is boring is to see you repeat this same pattern of behavior - even though it has steadfastly resulted in relationship failure for you. If you have a concern, a problem, an argument, etc. with your partner - who is a member of this forum - why on earth do you post about it instead of talking to her directly, and privately? Putting your relationship woes in the street - on this forum - doesn't solve whatever problems or concerns you're experiencing - it only makes them worse. You're a reasonably intelligent person - why don't you see that?

I've seen you repeatedly get the same results from broadcasting the negative, private details of your relationships on this forum: you set the stage for the relationship's spectacular destruction; you typically succeed in getting some members of the forum to confirm your perspective that you're not the problem in the relationship (easy to do when they're hearing only your side); you ensure that your exes want nothing to do with you - and then wonder why you can't be friends.

You'd have a better chance at having a successful relationship if you left all of us out of it. You'd grow as a person - and as a partner - if you learned to talk to your partner about your problems, rather than talking about your partner to other people. Every time you post a thread about how you look or how you dress or how you behave or how appealing you are, IMO, it's an exercise in manipulation. For the record (as I remember from the psych classes I took in college), there isn't one of us on this planet that doesn't manipulate - it is human nature; the extent to which it's healthy/unhealthy, and/or self-defeating/damaging is really the question. If there's no manipulation intended, and/or if this is healthy manipulation, why do you keep posting threads on the same subjects over and over again? You never seem to take the advice of people who suggest a change, and inevitably walk away with confirmation - albeit temporary - that you need to do nothing differently. The problem - as I see it - is that it doesn't seem to make your life any better.

Yes, FFS, you need to do something differently. Give your gf the respect she deserves and discuss your concerns with her. To discuss them with other people - when she's going to read exactly what you've written - seems to me to be designed to play her. If you want your relationship to succeed, you're going to have to try to establish intimacy, and intimacy can't exist without trust and respect and HONESTY. She seems to like you, so if you want to keep her, man up and stop this nonsense.

And yes, please stop talking about how much money you make. Whether you intend it or not, it always sounds like bragging. I make more money than you do, and no one would ever know it.

Thanks for this

Lots of wisdom in there and I could definitely use some - I'll get this relationship thing figured out eventually...

So you're not boring anymore.

I don't know what "flaming" is, but if it's that bad - then would you PM an explanation to me please? I *am* interested to know.

I don't nag. I say things once or twice.

As for neediness...I thought it was well known for women to "love too much" - see books like "Why Men Love b*****s" (not the real meaning of the word).

I just have to be especially careful as I'm seen as a needy person by men AND women. I deal with it by not talking to people when I'm upset/anxious.