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I got rejected and slapped hard in the middle of the hall.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2012, 6:51 pm

rabbittss wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
mv wrote:


It's just so dehumanizing, to see women thrown away as prospects solely because they have children already. I'm so glad it's not like that here. :wink:


I don't think it's dehumanizing to not want to raise and support some other guy's children.


I have to point out that I have no problem in raising some other guy's children - if I am financially/psychologically ready for this, which I am not.


Well then, you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.


Yes, sure I am, you're just a rabbit.


Actually I'm a gestalt collective of rabbits attempting to pass as a human being..


We are the rabbits, resistance is futile.



MCalavera
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27 Jan 2012, 7:00 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
But, yeah, flaking sucks and has probably happened in every person's dating life. You just have to get used to it (and not show at all that it affects you) when they do flake. Almost every person has to face this one.

corrected for accuracy (bolded). being flaky is not unique to women.


In the dating world, women do seem to flake more often than men, though. I've heard of so many incidents IRL and online where girls, good and bad, flaked on the guys with whom they agreed on dates with. And, of course, from my own personal experience, too. Can't say that many men do the same ... at least not to the same extent. But that's only because of different motives and different gender-based psychological/emotional needs and ways of thinking. Even good women have to flake at times. It's just how life is. Men just need to figure out the right ways to respond to such flaky behavior: no condemning or anything, just understanding and moving on. A lot of the times, but obviously not always, some of the girls do come back later anyway. And successful relationships ensue. It depends on how the man responded to the flake.

Of course, the woman described by Boo seems to be a bit too much. Good women flake, but they don't constantly play these games that this woman is playing.



beezy
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27 Jan 2012, 7:03 pm

Flake?



hyperlexian
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27 Jan 2012, 7:11 pm

MCalavera wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
MCalavera wrote:
But, yeah, flaking sucks and has probably happened in every person's dating life. You just have to get used to it (and not show at all that it affects you) when they do flake. Almost every person has to face this one.

corrected for accuracy (bolded). being flaky is not unique to women.


In the dating world, women do seem to flake more often than men, though. I've heard of so many incidents IRL and online where girls, good and bad, flaked on the guys with whom they agreed on dates with. And, of course, from my own personal experience, too. Can't say that many men do the same ... at least not to the same extent. But that's only because of different motives and different gender-based psychological/emotional needs and ways of thinking. Even good women have to flake at times. It's just how life is. Men just need to figure out the right ways to respond to such flaky behavior: no condemning or anything, just understanding and moving on. A lot of the times, but obviously not always, some of the girls do come back later anyway. And successful relationships ensue. It depends on how the man responded to the flake.

Of course, the woman described by Boo seems to be a bit too much. Good women flake, but they don't constantly play these games that this woman is playing.

perhaps some men are more likely than others to be flaked on. i can't identify with that at all, as i would never "flake" on a man who was worth dating. perhaps it has more to do with the men involved than the women. :wink:

when i have dated women, they didn't flake on me.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2012, 7:15 pm

Ah so it's all my fault.



hyperlexian
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27 Jan 2012, 7:16 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ah so it's all my fault.

do you get usually flaked on?


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MCalavera
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27 Jan 2012, 7:19 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
perhaps some men are more likely than others to be flaked on. i can't identify with that at all, as i would never "flake" on a man who was worth dating.


That's what they all say.

Quote:
perhaps it has more to do with the men involved than the women. :wink:


I know you're just teasing, but this must include Boo, too. I don't think Boo is even part of the problem in this case.

Quote:
when i have dated women, they didn't flake on me.


Doesn't surprise me. Different scenario here.



The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2012, 7:22 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ah so it's all my fault.

do you get usually flaked on?


Happened to me with two girls (including this one). Both were the ones who invited me out.

But why would it be my fault? I don't bug her before the date day, I don't put pressure on her (I am not naive to keep sending her texts/calling her before the date), I just keep the contact normal to not rising any possible stress. Yet I don't show total disinterest at the moment.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Jan 2012, 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hyperlexian
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27 Jan 2012, 7:23 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ah so it's all my fault.

do you get usually flaked on?


Happened to me with two girls. Both were the ones who invited me out.

But why would it be my fault? I don't bug her before the date day, I don't put pressure on her (I am not naive to keep sending her texts/calling her before the date), I just keep the contact normal to not rising any possible stress. Yet I don't show total disinterest at the moment.

if it happened twice, that's hardly a pattern for you to worry about. but it doesn't mean that all women are flaky eitehr, which is what MCalavera was getting at.

if a person flakes out on another person one time, there could be many many reasons for it. but if it happens repeatedly, then blaming it on the whole other gender's supposed behaviour is illogical.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2012, 7:26 pm

I don't think MCalavera was trying to blame it on one gender, he was just saying it's just something that happen to men in the dating world, there could be millions of reasons.

You're the one who's trying to blame a side...*cough* or.... someone.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Jan 2012, 7:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MCalavera
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27 Jan 2012, 7:26 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
if it happened twice, that's hardly a pattern for you to worry about. but it doesn't mean that all women are flaky eitehr, which is what MCalavera was getting at.


Feel free to point out where I said all women are flaky.

Quote:
if a person flakes out on another person one time, there could be many many reasons for it. but if it happens repeatedly, then blaming it on the whole other gender's supposed behaviour is illogical.


No blaming game going on here. I can understand why a lot of women would flake in the dating world.



hyperlexian
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27 Jan 2012, 7:27 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't think MCalavera was trying to blame it on one gender, he was just saying it's just something that happen to men in the dating world, there could be millions of reasons.

You're the one who's trying to blame a side...*cough* or.... someone.

he said that mostly women do it and not men. that is blaming women. i disagree, because men can be just as flaky as women. he has no actual evidence otherwise... besides personal experience and that of his friends.


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MCalavera
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27 Jan 2012, 7:29 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't think MCalavera was trying to blame it on one gender, he was just saying it's just something that happen to men in the dating world, there could be millions of reasons.

You're the one who's trying to blame a side...*cough* or.... someone.

he said that mostly women do it and not men. that is blaming women. i disagree, because men can be just as flaky as women. he has no actual evidence otherwise... besides personal experience and that of his friends.


And of all the other guys online and IRL who don't happen to be my friends.

You're taking it a bit too personally, me reckon.



hyperlexian
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27 Jan 2012, 7:33 pm

no, not personally at all. but when you make blanket statements about women, you're going to get some backlash, especially since you have absolutely zero evidence for what you're saying.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jan 2012, 7:33 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't think MCalavera was trying to blame it on one gender, he was just saying it's just something that happen to men in the dating world, there could be millions of reasons.

You're the one who's trying to blame a side...*cough* or.... someone.

he said that mostly women do it and not men. that is blaming women. i disagree, because men can be just as flaky as women. he has no actual evidence otherwise... besides personal experience and that of his friends.


He said it's something that more women do it than men, he didn't blame women, maybe in many cases the men behaved in a wrong way that made those women flake.



hyperlexian
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27 Jan 2012, 7:35 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't think MCalavera was trying to blame it on one gender, he was just saying it's just something that happen to men in the dating world, there could be millions of reasons.

You're the one who's trying to blame a side...*cough* or.... someone.

he said that mostly women do it and not men. that is blaming women. i disagree, because men can be just as flaky as women. he has no actual evidence otherwise... besides personal experience and that of his friends.


He said it's something that more women do it than men, he didn't blame women, maybe in many cases the men behaved in a wrong way that made those women flake.

he phrased it as something that all men have to deal with. and if all men are dealing with it, then presumably all women are doing it.... according to him.


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