Mail Order Brides

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women make about 50 cents for every dollar compared to men in Russia. where are you getting the idea they are not desperate?

the women do not select the men. the men select the women.

you didn't answer this.

It is often those types who dislike the idea of women being able to market themselves for their attractiveness, and it seems exploitative to them. I daresay social conservatives would also oppose it.

do you have any sort of statistics to back that up, or are you just demonising feminists with no evidence?

They might be just as desperate as an impoverished person in the USA, but not desperate enough to leave their home and their loved ones for someone they're not the least bit attracted to (and who doesn't have the money to provide them with a much better life than their current one).

And I don't think that there is any site where men pick out women and have them delivered to their doorstep. International marriage agencies are ordinary dating sites. People get to know each other, arrange a meeting, and only come to an agreement if there is a mutual attraction. A couple who has met on such a site might as well have met on Facebook or in Second Life.

did you read any one of the links i posted, or are you just deciding what you think the industry is like based on your own opinions?

the women usually do not speak english, so each company offers translation services for an exorbitant fee. therefore communication is quite limited as it is expensive. there is no courting or dates or regular webcam sessions.

and yes, there are sites where men can order women and have them delivered to their doorstep. many of the same companies also offer sex tourism where the men can come over and try the women out before making a selection. men can select women aged 13 to 40.

maybe read this article for some examples of what it is like for women in Russia:

http://www.omct.org/files/2004/07/2409/ ... russia.pdf

the situation there can be considered desperate indeed.

I'm reading them right now. My posts are based on my own experience. I've looked at quite a few dating sites when I was young, dumb, desperate and more socially functional than now, including international dating sites. But I've never come across any site that operates like the description in your previous quote, although there are sites that make it appear that simple in their advertisements or their site layout. A shopping cart analogy to "these are the people that I'm interested in being contacted by" doesn't mean that you are buying a person, and arranged meetings don't translate into "try before you buy". This can be easily misconstrued.

I've also never seen a site that offered anything illegal, but of course I've never been looking for illegal things. I have no doubt that there are websites that facilitate human trafficking and prostitution, but that's not your typical matchmaking site that shows up in Google when you search for "international dating / marriage" or even for the misleading-but-catchy phrase "mail order bride". I also don't think that this is what the OP had in mind. I challenge you to use these search terms and find a site that actually sells people, or anything more sinister than an ordinary online dating service.

"A person is not just paying the agency to find a wife." Right, he's also paying for alot of other things, like travel, cost of bringing her to your country, etc.. but you're not "buying" her. You don't own anyone after everything gets paid for.

"Men are selecting partners from a catalogue like they could buy a new dishwasher." Or like browsing through a dating site looking at member profiles. Remember, she has the right to reject whoever shows interest in her. And of course it's one-sided, the number of foreigners outnumber the number of brides.

And if she is so economically disadvantaged - aren't you helping her by bringing her over to western countries? I don't understand how you can look at it so negatively. She isn't going to be a slave when she settles in the west, she's just going to be a typical wife. And she is going to much, much more rights in western countries. Please tell me how bringing her from a sh***y lifestyle to a good lifestyle is so demeaning.

the authors of one of the articles i cited had to go deeply into those sites to access the other services. one governmental enquiry found it was the majority of mail order bride sites that are also involved in human trafficking.

you can't google for illegal services like that.

noooooooo - not a good idea to bring women over that way. the rates of domestic violence are higher amongst that group than amongst the general western population, so it is hardly a favour to bring them over. they are coming over at a social disadvantage - if you read the articles i posted you can read the actual cirsumstances that many of the women face.

she doesn't necessarily have the choice to reject a mate, and anyway she doesn't necessarily have the full information at the outset. men don't have to disclose prior marriages, physical measurements, actual job, criminal records, or a myriad of other things the women may want to know. and if the woman pushes for too much information, the man can just click away to another profile. i read one story about a man who was married 6 times to mail order brides. this is information that a resident could have easily found out, but the mail order brides had no idea.... and he murdered the sixth one.

Yes Hyperlexian, human trafficking occurs, and will continue to occur as long as it is lucrative... probably the remainder of human history.
Yes, disadvantaged people are vulnerable, and yes the main power of choice rests with the person with more economic power (the male client)
Certainly this mail order business can be and is abused in such ways, but it can also be used in a positive way. I'm guessing the OP isn't looking to start up a brothel or sweatshop.
Perhaps she comes from a culture of arranged marriages and is completely content to meet a man who can take care of her, have children, and on top of it live in a first world country.

you have hit on one common problem - women who sign up for this may think that it is like a traditional arranged marriage but it is not. in arranged marriages, the matchmaker knows both people and their families very well. in mail order bride services, the men have a certain measure of anonymity.

to be honest, i had no idea about any of this background about the mail order bride industry before this thread. i was interested in what it entailed so i researched it - before yesterday i had no knowledge whatsoever, but reading up on it... i got a faceful of facts that are pretty shocking. i don't think that people should consider supporting or engaging in this activity without having a clue of what is behind it/surrounding it/alongside it.

I understand that. But these things will occur one way or another.
Life isn't fair, there are winners and losers.
This is how it's always been, the people with the ability to procure resources are given the benefits. And in countries like these there are haves and have nots, do you really think matchmakers care about the poor women they pair up with wealthy men in those countries?

That's true, and that's why I think these agencies should be highly regulated. In other words, they should turn away any person with a criminal background, and verify any information he gives.