Good places for Asperger's men to meet women

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Joker
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25 Mar 2012, 11:33 pm

AussieMatty wrote:

Guys hold your horses.

I go to gym all the time. It is certainly great place to meet women. I go to do body pump fitness class once a week, the class is always full of good looking girls! BUT remember that, checking out girls at the gym is VERY offensive. As most guys go to the gym is usually body workout to show off guns to women. So don't try anything like that. Just go like hi but keep busy, if she responds to you and want to talk, then respond to her.

Social rule for aspie guys in the gym: Never approach a girl at gym sessions and/or fitness classes. Let them approach you, if not, don't worry about it.

I tell you what, from my experience for meeting girls:

1. University library: Yes there are full of them! However, if they look busy. Don't interrupt.
2. Social sporting programs (mixed company): They are fun, team effort and workout is biggest role in meeting them. Sporty girls tend to be very open.
3. Travelling programs: Like overseas working holidays and vice versa etc; this is BIGGEST opportunity, if you take summer program or a full year program. They are likely to be with you most of the time. You will likely to meet someone from overseas, someone will be much better than in your country itself depending on the population basis. I highly recommended for most aspie guys (and girls of course) to do travelling programs!

Those three play major role in my life at the moment. But heres a list of places that NEVER CONSIDER to meet women are:
1. Nightclubs
2. Gym
3. Community awareness programs (they indeed can be picky)

WOW you are some kind of sorcerer do you read minds? Cause you just read mine I think the same thing weird huh.

machf
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25 Mar 2012, 11:49 pm

This reminds me one time, several years ago, when I was taking swimming lessons, not because I couldn't swim, but because my doctor recommended it as an exercise. After the class was over, two of the girls approached me and asked me if I liked going out to run (jogging)... I half-jokingly answered that I only run when I'm late for an appointment or trying to catch my ride, and went to the locker room. I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now.

AussieMatty
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26 Mar 2012, 12:07 am

machf wrote:

It just a luck mate. Try again. It will get better, only when you think positively. Girls can read guys body language just like spiritual minds from paranormal scenes.

Joker: Haha not really. I just clearly can read situations of what is 'gone' wrong. In this case, I have learnt a lot of things anyways.

Joker
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26 Mar 2012, 12:13 am

AussieMatty wrote:

machf wrote:

Cool we both have that in common awesome

Wolfheart
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26 Mar 2012, 1:21 am

machf wrote:

I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now.

Don't beat yourself up about it, the good thing about socializing is that there's always another chance to do it. Of course, there are going to girls that flake or opportunities you miss out on but as you improve as socializing, your chances of finding a relationship and forming friendships will as well.

mds_02
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26 Mar 2012, 1:33 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:

mds_02 wrote:

Thank you.

"saw" them live last year. With Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

Oh, oh, I HATE you. I'm so jealous.

As you should be.

_________________
If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.

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Wolfheart
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26 Mar 2012, 1:39 am

OliveOilMom wrote:

That's you? I wasn't sure if that was you or if that was the actor that plays Carter in ER.

We can't decide who you look like can we? But you are a very nice looking boy.

Oh thanks, I haven't heard anyone say I look like him yet

probably because ER isn't very popular in England.

spongy
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26 Mar 2012, 3:55 am

You can meet people anywhere just as long as you arent expecting them to make the first move at all times.

Up until a month ago I had met less than 10 girls in the last year(my classes are mainly males, my friend circle was an all male group...),whereas I met 10 girls last week.

What happened in between?. I had to spend an awfull amount on time in bed/at home during October/November/December due to some health issues and I had plenty of time to think about where my life was going and if I wanted things to remain this way... and I decided to start a social circle from scratch

Now I know starting a social circle from scratch isnt simple and it can take a great amount of time but there are some shortcuts that can give you an easy start and then you can try to improve the situation with a little hard work.

On January I decided to put myself out there more to get to know some new people(not just girls) and become more comfortable with social stuff.
In order to do this I made myself promise that Id give anything a chance, Ive been to: English conversation clubs several times/local OWS meetings(I saw an ad and it didnt look that bad), even several meetings of some sort of local youth group(one of the members at an English club invited me and they seem to be quite open minded).

The only thing this places have in common is that they were open organizations looking for new members. Ive been out there and I know how much it sucks to reach out to someone/a group and be rejected so Im only going to groups that need new people to avoid the rejection possibility.

Now I cant say that Im perfectly happy where I am(not a religious person for example so Im quite lost at youth group meetings) but I can say that Ive become more comfortable around people and that this has been helping me become more comfortable with myself and lose the whole everyone sucks attitude I had had for a while.

Believe it or not I spent several hours this friday joking around some suitable girls and some boys that were only a few years older than me. How did this happen?, pretty simple I saw an ad for an event that involved talking to some us citizens and there I was invited to an open mic night. The following day I was invited to a dinner and some serious talk afterwards. Upon asking them they said it was a bible reading and then a discussion. Now Im not a religious person but I put myself out there with an open mind and I met several people that were going to be at the open mic night and thats how I ended up with some girls on friday instead of on my own(which is what happens most weeks)

Im not telling you guys to take any opportunity you may get as Im doing but trying to have an open mind about some activities wont hurt you and will increase your chances of meeting new people which will probably include girls if you know which activities to look at.

machf
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26 Mar 2012, 4:20 pm

Wolfheart wrote:

machf wrote:

I guess I wasted a chance at socializing... I haven't thought of it until now.

Oh, that was a long time ago, like 15 years or so... but I never reflected upon it until now (hey, back thenI had never heard about Asperger's, for starters). I only mentioned it because that's another option people may want to consider. I guess bicycle riding is another, too (but mine broke around the same time, and I haven't repaired it or bought another one since then, even though I've often thought of doing so).

Wolfheart
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27 Mar 2012, 3:10 am

spongy wrote:

Thanks for sharing this, just goes to show if you make an effort and put yourself out there with an open and optimistic mindset, you can meet friendly people.

tronist
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27 Mar 2012, 3:17 am

RightGalaxy wrote:

Don't just look for women, look for aspie women. NT's are only going to reject you or keep you for a bit and then kick you away penniless. Actually, an aspie woman has a better chance with an NT man than aspie men have with an NT women. The very purpose of an NT woman's life is a social one. When NT men socialize, they don't care if their women are there or not. The NT woman EXPECTS you to socialize. An NT guy will cheat on any kind of woman. NT guys find it easier to cheat on an aspie because she doesn't have a big social circle to tell her what he's doing behind her back. She's also unable to read the signs of infidelity. She'll eventually find out but an NT woman will find out a lot sooner. My NT cousin married an aspie and was ever so grateful for his fidelity and hard-work but after 8 years, she got very depressed and gained a lot of weight. She ended up having an affair with an NT guy and divorced him. Her complaint was that he always wants to stay home. He doesn't talk to people. He's embarrasing and bores people when he does talk to them. She didn't want to talk about electronics at the end of her day. She wanted to go to the bar with friends. Because of her guilt that he was indeed a GOOD man, She gave him eveything! The house, the car, the dog,
the two children every weekend, everything! She didn't take a dime!! If you decide to take a bite out of an NT woman, you are going to bite off way more than you can chew. Stay with your own type!!

i feel like almost all of what you have said is baseless speculation.

people arent the same. just because some NT's do some things doesnt mean all will, and vice versa. you can be an aspie and be fully capable of taking your girl out from time to time. relationships and marriage especially arent about saying 'be my girlfriend' having them accepting, then durdling around doing nothing. theres much more time / dedication / etc. that goes into them to make them truly work, and truly thrive.

rabbittss
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02 Apr 2012, 12:25 pm

Joker wrote:

I would say at a community college that is if you go to a community college.

I've found the main flaw with looking for girls at my community college is this, I have a 2 hour commute to school, if they live near the school, or themselves have an hour or more commute to the school.. it's not really going to lead to anything. Since we then have to factor in the multi hour commutes to spend time with each other in addition to the commutes to school.

I've had a few interested parties become uninterested when they realized how far away from them I lived.

I could see where living at an ACTUAL University, where the bulk of the students live on campus or in near campus accommodations would be a good way to meet people.. I'm just not sure a community or commuter college would be as successful.

rabbittss
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13 Jun 2012, 12:59 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

Major college towns - you'll find loads of brainy women working on masters, sometimes several at the same time.

Not my experience, it likely varies from school to school. If it's a party school, you are more likely to only find party women.

bizboy1
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13 Jun 2012, 1:26 pm

Parties where everyone is drunk, especially you.

lightening020
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13 Jun 2012, 9:00 pm

bizboy1 wrote:

Parties where everyone is drunk, especially you.

Seriously? No......stay away from heavy drinking parties. (moderate is ok though)

I feel ashamed of people my age and younger when I watch shows like Campus PD and see all of the undergrads underage drinking acting downright stupid. It makes me outright disgusted seeing privileged kids acting moronic. Nearly every one of them looks the same, wears the same style of clothes, is into the same garbage mainstream rap/pop/top 40 s**t (underground rap is cool though). Its like seeing the same Jock/Frat/Hipster/Pothead/ + their female counterparts all over again and again. You see different college students from different schools from different states, but you SEE ALL THE PEOPLE EVERYTIME. They are all the same.

I saw some of those same kinds of people when I first started college and there are probably more now. Don't be one of them and don't try to be one of them. You never will be and it will be a completely waste of time trying to "party" the big parties.

Never believe in the American Pie college hype or any college movie hype with massive crazy wild parties. Its not real. And even when it seems real its because enough people bought into the hype and recreating what they think college is supposed to be like.

For real that is straight up ret*d. Don't buy into that BS. Don't binge drink or think you are going to just hook up with girl a random party. I would bet my life that that isn't any one of us here. Its just not.

Joker
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13 Jun 2012, 9:36 pm

Try going to flea markets or the fair.

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