"Friends with benefits" is nonsense.

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What? I'm not doing that. I'm not drinking alcohol.......

But other people in here in previous posts and the sharing knowledge of my friends aren't really drinking alcohol to do fwb. So here we go the confusion.....

It's common while drinking but also common after they've already had a one night stand and the guy typically proposes to turn it into a friend with benefits situation so they can continue to have sex.

Very common here, at uni and otherwise as far as I have seen.

I use the term "friends with feelings" - but then again I identify as pansexual and polyamorous.

I'll be up front about it - I've never done anything like this with anyone. I'd really like to, but am not exactly optimistic.

My partner of over two years has friends-with-benefits (they're a couple, actually) and frankly it doesn't exactly tear at my heartstrings. We live a hundred miles apart and rarely see each other. Open relationships are better for college students, that much I've learned. But I do want this friends-with-benefits thing because of how my boyfriend explained it to me.

It's a matter of trust and love in the non-romantic sense. Obviously I applaud him for trying to explain emotions to me...I'm conscious that I feel strong emotions (and would in a situation like that) but I certainly don't know what they are or why, and I'm scared. I'm actually more than a bit scared of the entire prospect. This is complicated by the fact I'm good friends with a girl I frankly really, really like. A lot. We've even talked about friends-with-benefits while a bit tipsy (she has them too, of course, just my luck it's not me).

I really want that deeper level of emotional understanding and trust between two people. Neither of us wants anything serious, and she knows I really like her. It's perfect except I'm fairly positive she wants little to do with me beyond casual conversation. Oh well.

Also, in my opinion, friends-with-benefits is a consistent thing, not a one-night drunk encounter. That's called casual sex. I have nothing against that, certainly, just that if I were to do that I'd prefer it to be something we could do again, not be uncomfortable about in the morning. Certainly nothing that would include a "walk of shame" (term I've heard). If sex makes one shameful, then not mature enough to be having it. Simple. It should be fun and emotionally fulfilling. I know I feel emotionally empty most of the time, so that serves to explain my desires...

I'm far, far more interested in love and romance than sex, but I disagree with the OP. FWBs can be useful if two people want to have sex with one another but don't have feelings for one another. It's true that a lot of times feelings can develop this way and become unrequited by the other partner, but not always. There are definitely people that are physically attractive to me but not romantically so.

Friends with benefits only goes wrong with whoever gets personal first. I see it more as a mutual respect. Women like sex just as much as guys do (sometimes more). As for me, when I don't want to go through all the BS that you have to go through in dating (and I just want sex), then yes I'll hit a FWB up. With women (that I know), they are just tired of the dating game and they get lonely--or horny--at nights as well. Who ever gets personal first; usually its a 50/50 chance of them getting hurt. FWB doesn't just favor men--believe me. Sometimes women just wanna f**k too.

This whole phenomena is immature and selfish, and I despise the very notion of casual sex. I strongly suspect this was a concept first adopted by men, then used as an excuse by members of both sexes, who view marriage as a prison, avoiding commitment through a twisted definition of "freedom".

This same desire for "sex without any consequences" is what led to Roe vs. Wade, homosexual activism, and all the crap that's followed both. Even with the most accurate contraception being used appropriately every time, there's still a chance for pregnancy...and contrary to popular belief, condoms don't protect against STDs. For viruses small enough to invade cells, thin rubber and/or plastic is nowhere near a proper barrier. Counter-cultural as it may be, the only 100% foolproof method for avoiding both pregnancy and venereal disease is abstinence. If you're not prepared to abide by that, bear in mind you really are playing with fire.

I find it immature to say only one way to engage in sex is the 'correct' way and all others are damaging. People aren't all cut from the same mold... what works for one may not work for another.

Besides, discounting FWB is ignoring the fact that many married people often had a partner on the side. Sometimes more than one. Whether it was hush-hush or not depended greatly on which culture you hailed from. This whole notion of complete monogamy is relatively recent.

FWB fills a temporary need and sooner or later somebody is going to want more. The irony of it would be that, this same person wanting more will later turn to having another piece on the side under the guise of mistress.

I agree that friends with benefits is just like casual sex. It will leave you empty. Yeah drugs are a lot fun too but they mess you up and you become dependent on them. Sex you can also get addicted to.

Sex is actually supposed to be about love. There is no love in the "friends with benefits" equation. Many people will argue with you but so will anyone who wants to convince themselves that they are okay with what they know is wrong. People like to do the wrong thing. It's fun. But in the end it hurts you. This is a fact.

FWB, casual sex it is exactly the same sex without emotion. It will leave you empty.

Also sex with love is supposedly way better anyways. You get more satisfaction out of it.

Also if you are married and have people on the side you are scum of the earth.

I would rather have a meaningful relationship than have a lowlife "friend" with "benefits".