Would you dump someone who got fat?

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a strengthened core is great, and that can help with real life activities. but a strengthened core doesn't have to result in a 6 pack. a person can have a massively strong core under a big round belly, even

Unconditional love does not exist.

A lot of women would leave their men if they (the men) get broke.

a lot of men may leave their women if they went broke, too.

Less likely I guess.

As much as it's less likely for women to leave their men because of extra weight.

In fact, i never witnessed a case of a woman leaving a man because he's getting too fat (they might complain, but not leave), maybe it's just luck.

you are not basing that on any actual evidence or statistics. if you look at the reasons why couples divorce, lost money and lost looks are not commonly cited.

Lost looks no, but money is often cited as a top reason.

It depends on the basis of weight we are talking about here... If she was clinically obese and going to die from it and sent her depression onto me then I would leave due to not being able to cope with the stress.
If it was not that bad or if she was pregnant then I wouldn't leave. I'd more or less get used to it out of love and affection...
"And through it all, she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong..."

For putting on weight: no
Losing a job: no
Crime: Depends on what it is and the reasons behind it.
Crippled: no

My ex gained 140lbs in 3 years, she's 5ft 2" and 18 stone because of transitioning from a busy physical job to a seditary desk job.
For three years I tried to be supportive, I never once came straight out and said I had a problem with her weight despite her being totally miserable and down on herself. She'd motivate herself to go to the gym, this would last for two weeks, and in those two weeks she'd drop about 12lbs, then she'd take a break for a week for her period (she's very heavy) put the weight back on and then never go back. She'd get herself motivated again and repeat the same process again and again. I even joined the same gym to 'train' her and gave her cookery lessons for 14 healthy, low fat, high protein balanced meals with complex carbs that she could rotate. I don't think I'm an expert by any means, but I was a fat kid and lost the weight, and kept it off. I've been through all the pitfalls, made all the mistakes and lived in denial. I know that weight loss and maintaing a healthy weight isn't anything to do with Weightwatchers or dieting or any of that crap. Personally I find people who use Weight Watchers aren't serious about changing their lives, they're looking for results without the effort.
To lose weight and keep it off, you have to address the core problem, which for most people is laziness. We're designed to keep moving. Incorporating regular cardio exercise into your lifestyle and cutting out junk is essential. Not to say a little junk is not OK as a treat, which is what it should be. Moderation in all things is key.
Anyway, she'd started to go into this downward spiral. Her personal hygiene began to suffer, not to say that she didn't shower, she did, but she stopped washing her hair as often as is maybe a good idea. I've had long hair myself in the past and I know if I didn't wash my hair at least every 2 days, I'd look like a greasy rat. Her hair was longer than mine ever was and her hair is actually beautiful, but she'd only wash it every 10 days, to the point where I once saw her take her hair down and when she shook her head it all moved as one. On top of that, she'd begun to not bother getting changed out of her work clothes after work, she just wore this horrible black fleece with her company's logo on it and it had crumbs and things from her work lunches which accumulated. Then as a result of her weight gain she'd begun to become so unfit that all she'd do was sleep.
I mean a few times I'd be chatting about something and turn around and she'd be sleeping.
It got to the point where I felt I had to say something. I didn't like where she was headed and I know her mum had tried to say something to her, but I thought she might listen to me. I'd spoken to my sister about it and she basically said to be as truthful as possible. I told her that I loved her to bits, but was begining to feel taken for granted, I was beginning to feel like she wasn't physically attractive to me anymore which killed me as she was a really beautiful girl. I mean hot as f**k, and that she was becoming a slob, something that I can't stand. I asked her to please sort herself out as she was headed totally in the wrong direction. This intervention didn't go down well. I didn't see her for 10 days and then she came over to my place. She seemed almost 'possessed', like she was someone else and broke up with me. I spoke to her a week later and she told me that I should accept her for who she is, but I tried to tell her that, that's not who she is. It's who she'd become. I had to explain the difference between love and unconditional love. Since then she's been diagnosed Bipolar and an Aspie. I've tried to reconcile with her, but it's like she's two different people and one of them is furious with me. She's like one of those annoying alcoholics on Dr Phil who denies they have a problem, but have bottles of booze hidden around their home. She can't see that while I was critical of her I only want what's best for her. If she was fat and happy then it wouldn't have been such an issue, but she's not and now she's hiding behind Beth Ditto and lying to herself. I thought she could handle the truth, otherwise I would have just broken up with her and lied about why.

My love is unconditional. There's still a small core of love at the center of the giant mass of hate I have for the person who betrayed me worse than anyone. My love is unconditional, but my presence in the relationship is not.

Unconditional love outside of the family is a lie and the belief that it exists in a romantic relationship is a hindrance.

Wolfheart, I would like to see you inject oestrogen at the levels Hyperlexian has in her blood and see if it effects how easy you find it to keep fat off. Womens hormones are catabolic and break down muscle and build fat (unlike mens anabolic hormones which break down fat and build muscle) so it is much harder for women to keep weight off, especially harder than for a six foot plus bloke who is going to be able to eat loads comparatively. Also womens lifestyles of being in charge of the majority of childcare and house work tends to be prohibitive on spending vast amounts of time exercising compared to single 22 year old men who have relatively unencumbered lifestyles with more free time and less commitments.

when you get a partner and have children will you dump her when she cant keep up with your lifestyle because she is pregnant or having to look after a small baby or several small children? I think you will find as you get older and have more commitments in your life that you have to lower your high standards of what you expect from yourself and other people.

After rereading the thread (boy there's a lot of new posts!) will agree there's a difference between being big and beautiful (or a few extra pounds) and being morbidly obese. A medical definition of obese might not always mean the person is "fat", and are just heavier than what is suggested by all the medical boffins. Plenty of attractive people that fall into this category

I like to think the person I fell for, though, would be both the personality and the physical side of the person. A guy or girl that goes "oh im taken now i dont need to worry he / she loves me om nom nom" is not admirable. Nor is someone using the manipulative term "would you love me no matter what?" without saying what that what is when there's particularly something specific in their mind, like not looking after their health, bad displays of character, secrets of things you disapprove of that the keep from you to stay in the relationship (like cheating, conflicting views on life decisions etc.).

It's your duty as a human being and to your partner to make an effort.

I wouldn't say anyone should be with someone that they don't want to be with (they shouldn't and it would only cause misery for one or both partners) but I'd feel like someone dumping me for something like that would be like saying "I only want you if you are perfect and if you are unwilling or unable to be perfect then too bad, I don't want you."

I personally would have a very hard time changing my eating/exercise habits if I could even do it at all so I'd feel like I was being left over something that was out of my control. I'm not sure if I would be considered "fat" but I'm 5'8" and 180 pounds which is the most I've ever weighed in my life. When I was younger I was thin but it was just the way I naturally was and not because I ate healthy or exercised because I didn't.

I think the problem is not just whether or not you'll stay with someone who's changed for the worst but whether there are reasons behind it which would reasonably cause such a change on that scale. For example if a hypothetical partner (single atm) lost or gained a bit of weight from being stressed about family or friends, I wouldn't just go up and leave them. If they got let go from their job and had developed mental health issues leading up to it I wouldn't force them to find another job straightaway. If they became fat due to wanting to eat mcdonalds all day or wanted to become a dole-bludger then I'd leave them.