Older Men/(Women?)

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Hmm.. So I'm curious to know... You're an aspie, right? If so, why do you care whether or not something you do or like to do is socially acceptable? If society doesn't accept me, I say f**k society. I am who I am, and short of killing or raping people, I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want.

Secondly, this completely illustrates the points we guys have been making forever; that it's much easier for a woman in terms of dating. You know how often I get hit on walking down the street? NEVER. The only time I ever get hit on is when I'm already in a relationship, and no matter how much of a dick I try to be to show that person I'm absolutely not interested(been hit on by a 16 year old and a married woman... both were coworkers, which is another thing I don't f**k around with), they don't stop. But that's only two people. I guess if I had to deal with it all the time, it would be annoying, but it would be nice to know SOMEONE finds me attractive at all.

Uncontrollable - yes
Unfair - eh, maybe

I try to look at all of life as being fair, and if I'm thinking it's unfair in a moment then I try to take that as an indication that I need to change something in or about myself. I try my best not to blame the world. It's not easy, because I so totally want to curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep sometimes, but then I pull out something to work on and take my mind off of things and then I feel better.

I was very pretty at 19 and hit on often. I couldn't walk into a room without being completely aware of how many people were looking at me. Even now, I have creepy guys hitting on me at gas stations when, as you put it, I'm just there to get gas, not to have my toucas stared at. It's really off-putting sometimes, but I do have to remind myself that it's also complimentary.

The one thing I've learned in my years is how important it is to be prepared for the uncontrollable, so as to make it as controllable as possible. There was a mention earlier about people feeling entitled, and someone else jokingly discounted it by saying if they were entitled, then they would be taking what they want. I've been raped 3 times, and I have been in two mentally and physically abusive relationships. The entitlement of another person is real. However, despite what I've been through, I don't think the bulk of the society feels entitled just because it's being flirty (men or women). I was never trained to deal with the entitlement issues of others, but I'm now in a self-defense class to learn about how to deal with it. I highly recommend it for anyone, male or female, to learn about self-defense, both mentally and physically. Being able to know that you can handle another person that tries to scoot past your own barriers is important.

It really doesn't matter the age of the other person who is hitting on you, not in the grand scheme of things. What matters is your level of comfort. If you feel uncomfortable, for whatever reason, you should be able to know how to handle it in an appropriate fashion. If being flirty back but saying no in a kind manner works to get them out of your sphere, then it works. If yelling at them to leave you the hell alone because you are not interested, you wrinkly, old fart, works, then it works.

The more you figure out how to handle situations that make you feel uncomfortable, the more you will be able to see exactly how fair the world actually is.

Last edited by NicoleG on 08 Jun 2012, 7:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Now there's an idea.

"but younger guys are stupid and immature!! !!" Well then, carry on...

I've never seen a big woman asking out a fit guy in person, but i've been to dating sites where these cows and whales insist on some big strong muscular, fit guy who has his own job, car, house, and every other damn thing. Meanwhile she lives off of cheese curls in her mom's basement, but she absolutely WILL NOT budge on any of her requirements for a potential mate.

I care about the social acceptance of it because these people are going out of their way, breaking a social taboo, just to bother me.
I would gladly give you all the street harassment and pervs being a young woman brings if I could.
The strangers who yell at you on the street and chat you up in the grocery are not dating prospects.
I think this is a case of grass is greener, you have no idea what it's like having other people constantly foisting their sexuality on you, it's not fun, it doesn't make dating easier, and it makes every task you try to accomplish in public that much harder.

Having tried both, in my opinion, it's a lot nicer to be seen as a boy than as a girl when trying to accomplish anything other than getting someone to tell you how they'd like to f**k you.

Mod note: someone just reported several out of line remarks and I tried to remove only those but apparently something went wrong.
Im currently unable to bring the posts needed back will try again later on.