How do you handle compliments?

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Okay so question everyone: would you rather not get complimented at all?

Its nice to be complimented from time to time/when you´ve actually put some effort into whatever is being complimented(everybodu likes to have their work acknowledged).

But if it becomes some sort of routine that a person does whenever you meet them/a little too frequently or something I think its pretty normal to question the other persons motives/the amount of truth of said compliment

It depends if the compliment is supposed to make me feel good or make them feel good.

ex. you're beautiful, smile! from a random dude isn't flattering, it's annoying that he's asking me to perform for him while offering an unsolicited assessment of my appearance. This merits a stare of death.

ex. wow, you did so great up there tonight! from a friend, or a stranger in the audience, flattering. This merits a hearty 'thank you, so glad you liked it'

Is the compliment about something I did, accomplished, or was in any way active in. probably good.
Is it about my appearance or any other passive trait, more likely to not be good.

^^^
Oh that Spongy guy, he *hates* compliments! Beats me with a broomstick every time I give him one!

Meh. My friends have become really subtle and sneaky with it, so I usually don't even realise there was a compliment in there until 3 hours afterwards.
In which case, no I don't mind if they're that subtle. If they're direct, I would probably rather avoid them. I usually take silence or lack of criticism as an affirmative that I'm doing something right.

I was communicating with this person online for a while.
At some point they decided to start giving me compliments that seemed a little too frequent so I contacted about it.
After a while without a reply I asked what was wrong and this person explained me that doubting someone´s intentions can be quite hurtful and I should just try to handle the compliments as best as I can.


There have been some improvements interacting with people offline but Im still unable to reply accordingly most of the times because Im still wondering how much truth there is to what they say
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Move along people

Last edited by spongy on 25 Jun 2012, 10:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

I get into this situation where someone is trying to pay me a compliment, and they start piling on the compliments until they get the response they're looking for.

"Great job on that project."

"Thanks." (Smile and nod.)

"The client is thrilled."

"Thank you." (Getting more awkward now.)

"Everyone is so happy that it works and there were no major problems."

"Thanks..." (Now I'm blushing and looking away.)

"It's really great to have you here."

At this point I'm so uncomfortable that I start being self-effacing to defuse the compliments. "It's nothing, really. I mean, I did what I could in the time I had."

This generally ends with an awkward silence, at which point I'm perceived as either rude the way I seemingly won't take the compliment, or lacking confidence in my abilities.

it is easier to receive no compliments when they have to be assessed to calculate whether they are accurate. it is a chore to reply to compliments. and furthermore, if the compliment is unwarranted, then one has to employ other aspects of their mind to gently thank but refute unwarranted compliments.


if someone is profusely full of compliments that they want to tell you, and if you are not able to be elevated by their admiration, then what happens? do you ignore what they say or do you listen?

i listen.
it may not help the situation but i am able to listen.

yeah I can see how if someone was complimenting you every time you turned around, you'd be wondering what was up!


Were they personal compliments?

^ This!

I used to "correct" people when I felt compliments were undue, but I've been told that's excessively rude, even when true, so I now bite my tongue and deal with it.

I always have a hard time when random people come up to me with random compliments, such as on my hair or the nerdy buttons on my purse.. What is one *supposed* to say to things like that?

Example: I was chatting with the lady at the gas station, who I see every few days due to my caffeine addiction and in the middle of the conversation, some random lady (prolly early 20's, I'm terrible at guessing age) came into the store and said, quite loudly and excitedly "Oh my god, I love your buttons! I used to have a ton, too!" I felt that that sharing of information on top of the compliment was meant to start a conversation, but I honestly didn't know what to say or do, so I said "Thanks, I like buttons..." (pretty lame...) and hurried out.. I was so flustered that I sat in my care for a good few minutes before leaving, in which time she walked out, saw me, and quickly turned and walked away

*proceeds to tape her mouth shut so she can't give him compliments*

*hugs*

It's very uncomfortable. I try to say thx

Same here, but I sometimes forget, to varying results. It is a conscious behavior, so if I'm not focused on "acting NT", it's easy to forget to not correct them. People who don't know me may be visibly offended, while some people seem to tolerate it, perhaps they sense I can't help it. People who've known me long enough usually realize that my behavior at times (usually if I'm stressed out) deviate from normal conventions, or that I have AS.

I do slip from time to time, as well Terribly frustrating to offend someone when they are just trying to be nice and I'm not in the mood..

I find it flattering but very awkward. I've been told the correct response is "thank you" but when I say that the person just looks at me as if I'm supposed to say more so I must not be saying it correctly.

i usually say something to make nothing of the compliment, make out it was just lucky circumstances/ that it's not as good as it looks and etc. So yeah, i take them badly.