Female Aspie preferences?

Post Reply New Topic

I think I am definitely attracted to more dominant males, but I come across as the dominant one because I challenge men. Men seem to think this is because I want to be in charge, when in reality I am testing them to find someone who will stand up to me, challenge me and exert his dominance.

hyperlexian - I am not saying that wealth is everything. But take two equaly "compatible" men - one in Porsche one in bus. Guess who would apear more attractive.
There definitely is relation between attraction and wealth. Or course it is not 100%, but ... some.
Similar relation exists between men's attraction to beautiful women. Or you want to say, that we are blind and do not care about your bodies?

And the fact is, thousands years of patriarchate and "providing male" demonstrate it best.

See I think I agree with this logic, but then I find myself thinking I would rather have the dude on the bus because he's probably more down to earth.

Bus would be more interesting, who drives a bus?

I wanted to write "underground" first but I expected wild reactions

AJCoyne - see, thinking. Nice example of id, ego and superego battle. Id wants Porsche, but ego hits and wins

I don't see why dominance is needed in a suitable partner. If one is over dominant then that would leave the other basically being controlled, which doesn't set up proper fundamentals for a mutual and equal relationship. I'm not questioning dominance in general, as I know its required in life sometimes when dealing with certain people. I just don't understand it in a relationship scenario.

I think different things work for different people, some people take the lead, some people would rather be complete equals. I on the other hand need the control and dominance as a sort of security blanket. I think throughout my life I've just been trained to think that that is what I need.

have never ever seen equal couple. Doubt if exists. There is always one at least slightly dominat/submissive. Many times they roles changes in different occasions, but one leads and one is led.

If its one of you're requirements to be happy in a relationship then fair enough, what any of us seek in a partner is subjective. It just seems like a bad cycle to me, one being egotistic to make them feel better about themselves and another needing validation from them of their self worth. But that's just my thoughts.



Depends on the situation I suppose. One might not be able to make a crucial decision, so the other will step in to do so to help the other. Providing you're in a healthy relationship, I don't see why there would be a power struggle between the two.

You're definitely onto something. *low confidence and single*

Well I am both of those as well! But I still hold value in myself and don't like to be bossed around and such. Confidence would certainly help things though.

I like it , it dispels the myth that aspies are incapable of sarcasm. who would have thought ?

No problem... and I agree that women have become more promiscuous as time has gone on. I think another factor behind it is women having more opportunities to succeed in their career than they have in the past, and this in turn has created more independent women that can take care of themselves in contrast to the typical security-oriented ones.


Confidence is arguably the most essential part of picking up any girl you meet. If a guy is a car, then confidence is its gasoline. However, picking up a girl and entering a relationship with one are two totally different things. Personally, I think the picking up part is doable through trial-and-error for anyone as long as they persevere and keep their confidence up (which isn't the easiest thing to do). However, actually being in a committed relationship is different deal altogether. Based on what I know, the only way you are going to become a good partner is finding the right person. Having relationship experience apparently helps, but it isn't the dictating factor either.

i have seen many equal couples. each individual has areas of strength and areas of weakness, so their partner fills in the gaps. basically, like Colinn said.

actually, you are wrong. not all women work that way, and not all men work as you say either. i was seeking a FWB relationship and i had an offer from a music performer with a private jet. instead, i pursued a shoe store clerk with myotonic muscular dystrophy (he rode the bus). you don't really know how women work with these things. some women care about wealth and status, and others don't. just like men.

jeez I have never said there are no exceptions. Why don't people take it easy here?
I have also rejected 2 models, so what? Still I am driven by appearance at first, then I start to follow the character. On the net it is invalid of course.

Again, I have never said there is some struggle between men and woman (submission/domination).
Like old saying "man is the head of the family, but woman is the neck that turns it". My parents are exactly like this. Dad is more dominant, mostly outside the home. But mum can get whatever she want and "manipulate" him. They are perfect couple/yin yang, althought dominant/submissive. Again, doubt it that sharply equal couple exists...