"You'll find someone, I know you will."

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you dont need anything bad to feel that you're owed more.

Ahh I see, they have everything going well for them. Yes, in fact if those people changed their attitude it probably wouldn't work so well for them, that is somehow part of their method.

I know, right? It's so weird then to see so many people talking about attitude. If attitude truly meant anything, I'd be having the best life ever right now.

I hate that phrase too because we get so desperate for love. I'm desperate to find someone who will truly love me. From what I see, society is lost now with drugs, sex, and violence. How dangerous can the world get? I hope I find someone like me.
When someone says to me "You'll find someone" I always doubt it. Sometimes I feel like I was meant to be alone.

So I don't know about ex (hum, never got one, of course.), I'll speak of the sentence at the general sense.
I hate that nonsensical sentence (for it is nonsensical for me). It's a relative who told me that in an implicit way (when saying I should have a girlfriend). For the moment it seems I am asexual and aromantic or approaching ; moreover, 1/ I don't actively seek a relationship of the usual kind and I wouldn't be able to seek it because of my social incompetence, 2/ there is probably no chance I'll ever meet someone who would correspond to what I would then seek (a kind of super friendship, but with peculiarities since I've idiosyncrasies ways of living of friendship), and who would reciprocate it.
Actually this must be felt as humiliating by some, because reason, logic and experience tells us that there are many who will never "find someone" that "correspond" to them, and many that will even not find someone at all. People who say that think this is a comfort, but it isn't for some... By the way, there are variants. It also works for friends - "Don't worry, you will make friends !" - "Hum, do you remember who you're talking to ?". They should rather be frank and direct, and say "It's going to be hard" or "impossible" . I haven't made (I should rather say "be made a friend my someone") a new friend for years and I've never seen a girl seem "interested" by me (and even if it would happen, I'd be interested only if she would be interested by me in the way I evoked before)... So in my case, the sentence quoted would be just plain wrong, the person with whom I could have the kind of relationship that I could maybe be interested by being more than excessively rare (+ the fact that meeting her would be statistically impossible).
Note that I don't reject the possible validity for many people. But when you're high on the ladder of abnormality, or rather said when you're at the same time on several high steps of differences that distinguish you from normality, that doesn't apply any longer.
Not being realistic about it is not a good option, in my opinion. It would be ridiculous to blind myself about it. Furthermore, it would be lame, because they're many people that are in much more difficult situations than me about it, of course !

[quote=Kjas]but I have had acquaintances who don't even know me assume that I am single not by my own choice, and then try to use this phrase.

I have to laugh.... if only they knew how difficult I am to live with ![/quote]

+1 with the last sentence. People are strange ; they don't seem to get that being single can be a choice, a good one and a voluntary one ; they don't understand also that someone can have the decency not to impose himself to anyone just to "have someone" while he is a bit "difficult to live with"...

Else, I laughed hard (in a kind way of course) when I read AussieMatty's post about

Usually rejection is common (especially to us), and because we remember bad things more than the good, the quote would seem true (and cliche). But I think you're also forgetting not everyone will accept you, right? So that's a bit like cursing at a bus to hurry up when it's roughly on time.

When it's to the point that NO ONE will accept you, that's when it truly is a problem. I wish I had the "problem" of only a few women not being accepting of me. That is better than my reality.

At the end I think what you could tell you is that there are nearly always people who are more sad and in more difficult situations than you. It doesn't bring any kind of solace, of course (getting solace from that is not a really good sign, huh ?). But as HisDivineMajesty I think has in mind, the world is like this. It just is, and it can seem unjust and unfair, but that is because, objectively speaking, there is nothing like justice or fairness in the way the world is - those we can only try to develop through our thoughts and our actions. Even though it is hard to accept, there are many, so many people, who will not get what they want in their lives - or even who won't even get a life (dying young, for example).

It is kind of useful to keep in mind that what in our societies is considered as a "normal life" is something millions of humans never could even contemplate in the past, millions of humans can not hope for even today, and million of individuals will not get in the future (except if things get so much better, but it's an utopia)...
Sorry if I deviate, but this is another face of the problem of realism tackled by some here that I felt could be added...
Sorry too if I've introduced too much tragedy in this topic, but life can be that too. The problem is having the strength and the willpower to face it. Illusion and delusion don't seem to be helpful for that, in general and maybe in this particular case too. One must let go the ideas you can find somewhere - for example that everyone has some kind of a "right" to find someone, which is Of course, it's not easy, but somehow gaining wisdom means taming self esteem and restraining the excesses of our minds, accepting that there are things that are out of our reach, even though many people obtain them. But there would surely be less problems about it if society and doxa were not as stupid as they are when it comes to the representation of single persons and persons who cannot or don't want to find a partner.

I've arrived at the revelation, that if you can learn to accept that "You'll find someone" is a lie, and begin to accept and enjoy life for what it is, you'll be much the better for it.

I'm still looking, but I'm trying to just enjoy things as they are, and learn not to care if I'm alone. Better that than to settle out of desperation.

Here's a suggestion. Next time someone says you'll find someone, offer them a large bet. You'll see soon enough what their motivation is. If they mean it, they'll have no problem backing that statement up with a sizeable amount of money or property. If they genuinely, honestly believe in something, it's not a bet for them - it's free money. If they refuse a bet, you know you're dealing with someone not worth your time.

"But I don't want to take money from you."
"But you will just self-sabotage so you can win the bet."
"Of course there's the possibility something unforeseen could happen to prevent you from finding somebody. I mean you as you are NOW can find someone."
"I don't gamble."

^ This, pretty much

Answers to those:

"You are so confident I will find someone, I will take that risk...as I know you'll lose the money"
"Not possible if my record of being single is much greater then yours....who is to say that YOU will self-sabotage with one of your friends to try and go out with me?"
"Oh, so I will eventually turn un-dateable despite being unsuccessful? Don't tell me I'll find someone if you can't say that in the future".
"I don't take kindly to "You'll find someone" either, so it goes both ways"

I have faith you guys will say this in response.

If they try to excuse themselves from a bet, you'll notice a pattern. They weren't serious to begin with.

That phrase is annoying. People say that, or something along those lines, and yes I know I am a nice person, but people don't like me. I'm weird and not what people want. So that phrase does annoy me lol.

This phrase doesn't really work in a break-up context because it's a little flippant but
I really like "there are plenty of fish in the sea" for that kind of sentiment
because it's true (there are a lot of people in the world) hopeful (because with lots of people there is lots of opportunity) and because it accounts for not finding someone (just because there are lots of fish doesn't mean any of them want to swim around you)

That said, I'm really not going to begrudge someone saying something like that because it's just polite, just like I wouldn't get mad at someone saying bless you because I'm not christian.