Obsessed With Finding Someone?

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Sorry- I didn't see the things you mentioned- having friends, being independent, etc- as "bragging"- merely selling their attributes which most people would consider positive.

...isn't that assumed, since they're on a dating site?

I'm just curious about those things. I didn't quote the rest of your post because I totally-agreed.

If you are male and you are not wealthy and not good looking in other words poor and ugly you will have little or no chance of finding someone. There is no point even trying it is better to not worry too much and is no good wasting your time and energy.

If I wasn't so respectful of privacy I would post some examples. Basically, these ladies are presenting themselves as something they are not while acting like they were nearly perfect. A specific example is travel. I would say 2/3rds of profiles would brag in a very condescending tone about how they frequently travel internationally alone and have been to 20 countries and want to go to 20 more, while working a job that pays about $20-25,000 a year. Therefore, the conclusion I make is that they are flat out lying. You simply cannot be 'independent' and travel three times a year to Asia or Europe with those incomes where I live unless its for business. I know all too well because I an independent, make over $35,000 and can barely stay afloat because where I live the taxes and housing costs are insane compared to income.


Well, I would have thought that but on OKCupid, I would say about 1/3 of the profiles flat out admitted they had zero intention of ever meeting someone and that's just the ones who have the nerve to admit it. When I was on eHarmony I would literally see profiles saying something like 'I'm interested in a guy who is quiet, tall, late 20's, never had a prior serious relationship and into hockey and would love to meet you". I send a polite message asking to talk only to get blocked or deleted almost instantly. You would think at least one would at least start a friendly conversation! Granted you might say they were just 'fakes' set up by the site but I did know at least one of them from real life and same reaction.

All I can say is thank heavens I'm done with online dating. I still can't believe how my GF is much younger, had a terrible, poorly written, cliched filled profile with no picture that said nothing about her and STILL managed to find three BF's online without even trying. Granted none of them lasted but I would rather that than wonder if all the female profiles are even real people due to lack of responses. All the men I talk to (one being filthy rich) say the exact same things. Online dating SHOULD be a great way to meet women but the few 'normal' ones are scooped up very quickly.

all of the above

Me too!

ur h4wt bb, w4nna cyb3r?

Jealousy, anger, frustration, bitterness, loneliness are common feelings Aspergers feel when we are continuously being rejected, humiliated and embarrassed by others. Aspergers are constantly rejected because we are different, unique and special. Most people want someone who is compatible and agrees with them. Aspergers are like oil and most people are like water. Oil and water does not mix.

I've come to the point in my life where I can honestly say that if I meet someone and we hit it off and start dating, that's fine. If I don't find anyone, that's fine, too. It's whatever God wills for me, and I've accepted that.

I don't mean to sound self-righteous, and if I do, I really am sorry. It did take me a long time to reach this point, but now that I have, I feel more at peace with everything.

First post on the forum so adding my bit here...

Are you lonely?
A lot of the time, if I keep myself busy it isnt so bad though.

Do you constantly think about being with someone?
Not constantly but a lot of the time. Not specifically about any one person anymore, just someone.

Do you sometimes go out of your way to find people like you?
I always keep an eye out for people like me however it seems nearly impossible in this city. I've lived in this city my whole life (28 years) and the number of people I've known somewhat like me regardless of gender can be counted on one hand with room to spare.

Do you think, that when you find someone you fancy, or if they are similar to you, you automatically think that they cold be the one?
For a brief moment yes, but experience has taught me otherwise. Always hope for the best but...

You can't help but wonder, do you stand a chance with them?
I think most people probably think this at some point.

You really want to talk to and get to know someone, that has a lot in common with you or captures your interests, but you're insecure and afraid of being hurt/rejected?
Yes, because more often than not I do get rejected and the times I havent have always been bad experiences looking back. There was one exception to that however she is now half way around the world and it's unlikely I'll ever see her again. However I do still take the chance from time to time, I'm a very stubborn person by nature so I never really give up, more take a break for a while. Hoping it will get to the point were rejection just wont bother me any more but definitely not there yet.

Does it bother you when you see someone of your interest with a boy/girlfriend?
A little I guess, the whole "why cant that be me" thing. But I don't dwell on it.

Are you lonely?
No, i like being alone,

Do you constantly think about being with someone?
Yes, but the reality is it probably wont happen; although lately i am starting not to want to ever date anyone as i like being alone as above. The only people i dont mind is family

Do you sometimes go out of your way to find people like you?
No, because i failed in the past

Do you think, that when you find someone you fancy, or if they are similar to you, you automatically think that they cold be the one?
nope

You can't help but wonder, do you stand a chance with them?
sometimes

You really want to talk to and get to know someone, that has a lot in common with you or captures your interests, but you're insecure and afraid of being hurt/rejected?
I can talk to people, the problem is i just dont know how to do it well

Does it bother you when you see someone of your interest with a boy/girlfriend?
Yes, but the reality is i am starting not to care about dating anymore

better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all