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Which do you prefer?
Latino (male) Lover 13%  13%  [ 1 ]
Gringo (male) Lover 13%  13%  [ 1 ]
Latina (female) Lover 50%  50%  [ 4 ]
Gringa (female) Lover 25%  25%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 8

Kjas
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04 Sep 2012, 5:38 pm

You have your own version of the courtship ritual (which is in itself and intricate formation of rules and steps) - in which many aspies here complain about the "game-playing" that happens in anglo culture also. People often say one thing and mean another - it's not just our culture.

The key point is that a true refusal, is indicated by our cultural standards, by a consistent refusal, both verbally and physically.


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puddingmouse
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04 Sep 2012, 5:43 pm

Tequila wrote:
puddingmouse wrote:
It's a vote for the confidence that Latino women have.


And the bundas!


My bum bum wouldn't look like that, even with an ethnicity change. I think I'd be like the 0.1% of Latin women with a flabby bum bum.


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Magnus_Rex
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04 Sep 2012, 5:44 pm

Judging from my friends' behavior, Brazilian men do not seem to really give up. When they realize they do not have a chance, they will begin to make fake advances as some kind of joke.

Anyway, their insistence is harmless. Women are used to it. Besides, it is not like they keep harassing one woman; they are friendly and, if they do not convince one woman, they will try another.

You are not used to our culture, therefore, it will not do any good trying to explain it to you. Just accept that there are different behaviors among different people and we consider our culture normal (obviously).

...I wonder if I would be more lucky with the girl I like if I did not give up after her first rejection?


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Shatbat
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04 Sep 2012, 5:48 pm

Tequila wrote:
Shatbat wrote:
Normally women instead if giving in, they get increasingly pissed, and become more firm with their noes, cut off contact, and if a guy still persists then he may be getting into stalker territory, and that's just nasty and unrelated to culture.


OK then - my question is basically this. When do the men stop? How long does it get them to stop permanently? Can a woman just say "no" and walk away and that's the end of it?

I probably meant sexual harassment yes, but that can lead to rape.


When do men stop? When they see that their efforts are futile. How do they see their efforts are futile? Usually when they notice a lack of reciprocity, as Kjas explained (I didn't have it as clear to say the truth. But that explanation makes a lot of sense). How long? Until they get bored, wich may vary from men to men and also from the intensity of the courtship (I've seen cases of over a year, very light and occassional flirting, where neither party takes things seriously, one, or both of them, may already be in a relationship. It's weird, really) Can a woman just say no? Yes, a woman can say a big no, something like "I don't think I'd ever want to date you" with a serious tone of voice and distant body language, and only a minority would keep going from that point. In general, a serious talk does the trick (edit: they are not usually the norm though. Consistent refusal is the usual way, more natural). Sure, there are men who keep pestering women after that, but they are few (and annoying).

Yes, body language plays a big part in this :lol:. It can be a pain.

puddingmouse, what is being gropey to you? I wonder.


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puddingmouse
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04 Sep 2012, 6:41 pm

Shatbat wrote:
puddingmouse, what is being gropey to you? I wonder.


Literally groping you when you've already tried to get away from them or politely turned them down.


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hyperlexian
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04 Sep 2012, 7:41 pm

the thread pretty much directly led to unacceptable racism, so it is now closed. people shouldn't have to step in to defend their culture from blanket accusations of rape. WrongPlanet is a place where we want all people to feel welcome.


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