09 Dec 2006, 8:24 am
[quote='murdal'] Still. It is not wise to go back to someone who made you feel bad an abused.
There is something to be said about online relationships and that is most of the time they do not work out. If you're willing, you could wait, though that might leave you with more heartbreak. You should do what ultimately feels good and while this advice might seem odd, I don't think you should tell him those feelings unless it is an absolute must. My experience has been that things kinda become weird when you tell someone you are in love with them just because you're trying to get it off your chest. It doesn't seem as polite. Perhaps this friend telling you he was in an online relationship is a sort of omen so that you didn't have to spill your guts?
My advice sometimes isn't the best and that might not be the way you want to take it. However, you should live life on your own terms 
Besides, if you would like to meet up with other aspie males I'm sure there are plenty here to pick from including myself 
(I know, a shameless plug 
But I do like meeting different people when I can. Provided no one else is around >.>)[/quote]
Yeahhhh you are true... he did say to my friend it was his "on again, off again" girlfriend... the only reason why i'd take it seriously is because thats how I met my first boyfriend and we had been together 2 years... so they can get serious tooo...you are definitely right about not telling him although the more he seems to be flirting with me, smiling at me, looking at me and everything i'm starting to wonder if my so-called "friend" was really lying to me or if he's just being a dog to his online girl... i mean the one thing that i would say i have going for me is that you can touch a real person, with a real body...you can't touch people who are online that you've never met before so maybe thats the only reason he's been trying so hard these past couple days (unless they are "off" again)..
Nooo nooo i think your advice is just perfect! and very helpful might i add....lol awww shameless plugs are the best! i'll keep that in mind
09 Dec 2006, 8:30 am
Gamester wrote:
well, no, but intellectually I am. which is probably why I piss off half the guys on my floor, because I say stupid stuff a lot, then I pull out my weird occasional intellect..........specially with what I have to say about my evil ex girlfriend.
Murdal, you're pic............what anime/manga is that from? I've read the series, but can't remember it for the life of me.
in my opinion, Caramel, whilst you did make a mistake, there will be other men. I've learned that a lot in my dating experience. in fact, last night my good friend/crush since my 8th grade year called me, to say hi, and and my first ex emailed me to say hi. In my studies, its never a good idea to burn your bridges, cut them, because if you cut them, you can go back to these people later on, and be friends. with my first, we broke up and never got back to being friends........partly that was because I couldn't drive and she could, and the fact that she still thought I had feelings for her............oye vey. women. can't live with them, can't live without them, in general whilst they are a pain, sometimes you need the pain to make you experience life more.
Murdal, you're pic............what anime/manga is that from? I've read the series, but can't remember it for the life of me.
in my opinion, Caramel, whilst you did make a mistake, there will be other men. I've learned that a lot in my dating experience. in fact, last night my good friend/crush since my 8th grade year called me, to say hi, and and my first ex emailed me to say hi. In my studies, its never a good idea to burn your bridges, cut them, because if you cut them, you can go back to these people later on, and be friends. with my first, we broke up and never got back to being friends........partly that was because I couldn't drive and she could, and the fact that she still thought I had feelings for her............oye vey. women. can't live with them, can't live without them, in general whilst they are a pain, sometimes you need the pain to make you experience life more.
That is true, Gamester... but the way I think about things is that there will be other men...but not men like him...i don't know..i'm strange when it comes to losing people but then too a way i think of it is with all the terrible, mean, plain crazy women out there they won't be another woman like me for him either
so he's really really missing out... i'm not so sure i'd want to be his friend when i feel the way i do because, incidentally, whenever i feel a certain way for someone, i always feel a certain way for them...
even years later...
i'll give you that- women are crazy and disillusioned and think that everything is about them (i try my hardest not to be that way) but i can admit that when i did get blown off so many times by my first boyfriend i learned a heck of a lot more about men than i'm sure he's learned about women...
09 Dec 2006, 8:48 am
sociable_hermit wrote:
Caramel - If he is an Aspie, he will appreciate a direct question. Using second-hand evidence simply isn't good enough.
You have written the bloke off without checking your facts. This is bad.
Given that he's an Aspie, he may be aware that he has poor social skills and is maybe a bit geeky (??) so maybe he has invented an on-line girlfriend to keep everyone off his back. Plus, what exactly is an online girlfriend anyway? That could just mean a girl he talks to online... it's hardly going to be a deep and physical relationship, is it?
Clarify the situation and don't make assumptions.
You love him anyway, so you might as well tell him.
You have written the bloke off without checking your facts. This is bad.
Given that he's an Aspie, he may be aware that he has poor social skills and is maybe a bit geeky (??) so maybe he has invented an on-line girlfriend to keep everyone off his back. Plus, what exactly is an online girlfriend anyway? That could just mean a girl he talks to online... it's hardly going to be a deep and physical relationship, is it?
Clarify the situation and don't make assumptions.
You love him anyway, so you might as well tell him.
you know whats sad, sociable_hermit? i'm going strictly on what she's saying hoping that she won't take advantage of me and mess me over for whatever reason.... whats even more sad is that i'm a journalist so how in the hell did i miss this one? first rule of journalism is you NEVER write something or someone off WITHOUT CHECKING THE FACTS FIRST (i can't believe i missed this one)... i think i was also looking for confirmation that way I didn't have to confront him and get blown off which would've of been more hurtful.... i think i kind of sabotaged that one...
lol waittttt! hold up!! I didn't thnk he could do that PEOPLE MAKE-UP ONLINE GIRLFRIENDS? not only do i now feel out of the loop, but now i also feel stupid...lol i didn't know that people did that....but knowing him it makes sense because the people at work kind of treat him like he's got problems (which pisses me off greatly) and to top it all off, gets on his back a lot.... so this DOES make sense!! ! I do agree with what you're saying! Entirely!! As I had mentioned in a previous post even if it is his "online girlfriend" and they've never met you can't touch her, feel her, or taste her... but you can a real girl who is standing in front of you who likes you
maybe i definitely should tell him... damn all of you for saying the right things at the right times and knowing probably more than i know about my own situation!
j/k if i end up at work today, maybe it'll be best if i do clarify the situation for myself so I can finally have an answer and, in any case, be at peace...
09 Dec 2006, 8:50 am
09 Dec 2006, 8:59 am
sociable_hermit wrote:
Quite possible, but not very likely. I'd imagine about 5% of online relationships actually turn into something meaningful in the real world (though that figure is a pure guess).
As for Caramel's situation, there is far too much opportunity for misunderstanding.
The evidence is second hand.
The meaning of "on/off online girlfriend" needs clarification.
He might be lying to escape peer pressure.
And what has she got to lose by asking?
Except a group of jealous Aspies trying to bugger up this guy's chances in order to improve their own, maybe?
As for Caramel's situation, there is far too much opportunity for misunderstanding.
The evidence is second hand.
The meaning of "on/off online girlfriend" needs clarification.
He might be lying to escape peer pressure.
And what has she got to lose by asking?
Except a group of jealous Aspies trying to bugger up this guy's chances in order to improve their own, maybe?
now who can fight with statistics? I'm thinking that does make sense too.... either that or your uncle and his wife are apart of the lucky few who find happiness online... even with my ex, happiness or at least HONESTY was not a word in his vocabulary...
Awww I hope theres opportunity
that would be great! And I know that when I was a bit younger (and more saddened by other peoples thoughts of me) I found myself lying when in a tight situation (although they quickly backfired and I learned to NEVER do it again) and on/off online girlfriend does need clarification because i'm not entirely sure what i means... AT ALL... and i don't like assuming when i don't have to....it sounds like he was lying to escape peer pressure because the girl who is "my friend" might've been lying to me from the beginning because maybe she was jealous or something...maybe she liked him at one time but he didn't like her... she has a very, how may i say it... generally "off-putting" personality that can put someone quiet and at ease in total disarray...the whole thing could've been a lie from the start- and i didn't even think of it like that until now... she was the one who decided to bring herself into this situation without asking me and who ended the situation fast before it even started and when i asked her why does he keep looking at me then, why does he keep smiling at me then to her she didn't have an answer...
why i oughta beat the snot out of her-----
! !! other people make me so mad because they always have to bring ignorance into my life... lol hey wait.. you all don't like me that much!
09 Dec 2006, 9:03 am
Murdal wrote:
sociable_hermit wrote:
Quite possible, but not very likely. And what has she got to lose by asking?
Except a group of jealous Aspies trying to bugger up this guy's chances in order to improve their own, maybe?
Except a group of jealous Aspies trying to bugger up this guy's chances in order to improve their own, maybe?
There is quite a bit to lose if not done properly but, it is still her decision. I only gave my take on this.
Also, why would we want to help screw up a perfictly good relationship/friendship on purpose? You just shot at her for making assumptions why are you making them yourself?
I highly doubt anyone has an alternative motive here and I do believe we all want to help Caramel
Awwww you're all so helpful anyways! and i thank ALLL OF YOU for your help! Maybe i should just sit back and do nothing? ahhh too many opposing viewpoints! damnit and i get confused easily too!!
09 Dec 2006, 9:05 am
sociable_hermit wrote:
I was joking there, as Tequila has acknowledged. However there was a serious point to the joke, which is that it isn't always the world's best idea to rely on a bunch of potentially sex-starved Aspies for relationship advice when you are an available female.
I'm not saying anyone here is really trying to sabotage things - yet - but it's only a matter of time before hellznrq turns up
I'm not saying anyone here is really trying to sabotage things - yet - but it's only a matter of time before hellznrq turns up
Ohhhh i don't think i considered it that way lol..not at all.. I honestly didn't know thats how this thread would turn up..lol... maybe i'm not that smart? lol wait i'm sex-starved and still can give damn good advice!
09 Dec 2006, 9:14 am
09 Dec 2006, 9:22 am
devilmaster2001 wrote:
hey caramel and all the brothers and sisters of the hood.
how we all hanging today hope it good.
caramel, as an aspie i hate it when people just get on my back again and again. the thing is he dont understand love to the full extent. no aspie does. come to think of it no body does. just be direct, not confrontational but talk to him, quietly watch the body language and just talk to him. dont give up. the online girlfriend might be a ploy to get to see what you'll take off him. its not his been horrible. its just tryna investigate what manner a person you are. i do it all the time to co workers and teachers. it just tryna investigate people. i mean i watch people when we are watching a movie and i learn all i can from body language. dont worry, just give it time and be as understanding as you can.
take a pepsi and chill out in the back row of the cinema and then go out for a bit.
brother devil
how we all hanging today hope it good.
caramel, as an aspie i hate it when people just get on my back again and again. the thing is he dont understand love to the full extent. no aspie does. come to think of it no body does. just be direct, not confrontational but talk to him, quietly watch the body language and just talk to him. dont give up. the online girlfriend might be a ploy to get to see what you'll take off him. its not his been horrible. its just tryna investigate what manner a person you are. i do it all the time to co workers and teachers. it just tryna investigate people. i mean i watch people when we are watching a movie and i learn all i can from body language. dont worry, just give it time and be as understanding as you can.
take a pepsi and chill out in the back row of the cinema and then go out for a bit.
brother devil
I didn't realize that so many Aspies have people that get on their backs! I know when people get on my backs, in this day and age, the surest way to tell someone to go blow themselves is just by smiling in their face and not participating in the madness (that took me a while to figure out even still).... I don't understand love and how it always seems to trample me under its kind words and hugs and kisses but i'm a slave to it nonetheless... i'll be direct with him (upon once again deciding to tell him..) and i'll watch his body language.... i think maybe it might make both of us feel better (to get it out in the open) or worse (for getting it out in the open)...but in either case there is some relief to be had...
maybe he was trying to investigate how deeply my feelings ran for him? maybe to investigate how i'd react? I'll definitely try to be more understanding (especially with the help of this site and maybe i'll give it time although i would prefer some type of answer/resolution before christmas...lol i mentioned movies to him (one movie in particular) and it opened up conversation although i wish he'd ask me if he does like me...
hmmm you know what i had a thought about the other day?
what if he was someone here on this website reading my posts... i'd be so embarrassed that i'd hope the earth would open and swallow me up whole! lol and i hadn't thought about that until now! lol... what if he was one of you?
09 Dec 2006, 9:26 am
sociable_hermit wrote:
It's true.
You've still got a pretty good chance, Caramel.
Go for it... but in a nice way, so that you'll remain friends whatever.
At the end of the day, even if men ARE solely obsessed with sex (which isn't a concept I necessarily agree with) your CTRL button is going to be a lot more interesting than hers.
You've still got a pretty good chance, Caramel.
Go for it... but in a nice way, so that you'll remain friends whatever.
At the end of the day, even if men ARE solely obsessed with sex (which isn't a concept I necessarily agree with) your CTRL button is going to be a lot more interesting than hers.
I hope I do! I think I should go for it but do you think it would be strange after between us (well it probably wont if i try to forget it the moment i'm rejected)
lol yes anddd men are solely obsessed with sex... lol but i bet you're right my ctrl button is a lot more interesting...and if he played his cards right, he could press it all he wants...lol!
09 Dec 2006, 9:26 am
Gamester wrote:
sociable_hermit wrote:
It's true.
You've still got a pretty good chance, Caramel.
Go for it... but in a nice way, so that you'll remain friends whatever.
At the end of the day, even if men ARE solely obsessed with sex (which isn't a concept I necessarily agree with) your CTRL button is going to be a lot more interesting than hers.
You've still got a pretty good chance, Caramel.
Go for it... but in a nice way, so that you'll remain friends whatever.
At the end of the day, even if men ARE solely obsessed with sex (which isn't a concept I necessarily agree with) your CTRL button is going to be a lot more interesting than hers.
well that's probably the best thing for many of us out there S.H.
if not then all women would be with other women, and what kind of society would we have then.
hahahaha i'd be afraid to find out...
09 Dec 2006, 9:54 am
caramel wrote:
devilmaster2001 wrote:
hey caramel and all the brothers and sisters of the hood.
how we all hanging today hope it good.
caramel, as an aspie i hate it when people just get on my back again and again. the thing is he dont understand love to the full extent. no aspie does. come to think of it no body does. just be direct, not confrontational but talk to him, quietly watch the body language and just talk to him. dont give up. the online girlfriend might be a ploy to get to see what you'll take off him. its not his been horrible. its just tryna investigate what manner a person you are. i do it all the time to co workers and teachers. it just tryna investigate people. i mean i watch people when we are watching a movie and i learn all i can from body language. dont worry, just give it time and be as understanding as you can.
take a pepsi and chill out in the back row of the cinema and then go out for a bit.
brother devil
how we all hanging today hope it good.
caramel, as an aspie i hate it when people just get on my back again and again. the thing is he dont understand love to the full extent. no aspie does. come to think of it no body does. just be direct, not confrontational but talk to him, quietly watch the body language and just talk to him. dont give up. the online girlfriend might be a ploy to get to see what you'll take off him. its not his been horrible. its just tryna investigate what manner a person you are. i do it all the time to co workers and teachers. it just tryna investigate people. i mean i watch people when we are watching a movie and i learn all i can from body language. dont worry, just give it time and be as understanding as you can.
take a pepsi and chill out in the back row of the cinema and then go out for a bit.
brother devil
I didn't realize that so many Aspies have people that get on their backs! I know when people get on my backs, in this day and age, the surest way to tell someone to go blow themselves is just by smiling in their face and not participating in the madness (that took me a while to figure out even still).... I don't understand love and how it always seems to trample me under its kind words and hugs and kisses but i'm a slave to it nonetheless... i'll be direct with him (upon once again deciding to tell him..) and i'll watch his body language.... i think maybe it might make both of us feel better (to get it out in the open) or worse (for getting it out in the open)...but in either case there is some relief to be had...
maybe he was trying to investigate how deeply my feelings ran for him? maybe to investigate how i'd react? I'll definitely try to be more understanding (especially with the help of this site and maybe i'll give it time although i would prefer some type of answer/resolution before christmas...lol i mentioned movies to him (one movie in particular) and it opened up conversation although i wish he'd ask me if he does like me...
hmmm you know what i had a thought about the other day?
what if he was someone here on this website reading my posts... i'd be so embarrassed that i'd hope the earth would open and swallow me up whole! lol and i hadn't thought about that until now! lol... what if he was one of you?Even if he was on here he couldn't possibly know it was you because you haven't given out very much infomation about you or him at all, by the way, can you give me your number?
Assassin
Veteran
Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,676
Location: Not here, Not there, not anywhere.....
09 Dec 2006, 9:54 am
09 Dec 2006, 9:56 am
caramel wrote:
devilmaster2001 wrote:
hey caramel and all the brothers and sisters of the hood.
how we all hanging today hope it good.
caramel, as an aspie i hate it when people just get on my back again and again. the thing is he dont understand love to the full extent. no aspie does. come to think of it no body does. just be direct, not confrontational but talk to him, quietly watch the body language and just talk to him. dont give up. the online girlfriend might be a ploy to get to see what you'll take off him. its not his been horrible. its just tryna investigate what manner a person you are. i do it all the time to co workers and teachers. it just tryna investigate people. i mean i watch people when we are watching a movie and i learn all i can from body language. dont worry, just give it time and be as understanding as you can.
take a pepsi and chill out in the back row of the cinema and then go out for a bit.
brother devil
how we all hanging today hope it good.
caramel, as an aspie i hate it when people just get on my back again and again. the thing is he dont understand love to the full extent. no aspie does. come to think of it no body does. just be direct, not confrontational but talk to him, quietly watch the body language and just talk to him. dont give up. the online girlfriend might be a ploy to get to see what you'll take off him. its not his been horrible. its just tryna investigate what manner a person you are. i do it all the time to co workers and teachers. it just tryna investigate people. i mean i watch people when we are watching a movie and i learn all i can from body language. dont worry, just give it time and be as understanding as you can.
take a pepsi and chill out in the back row of the cinema and then go out for a bit.
brother devil
I didn't realize that so many Aspies have people that get on their backs! I know when people get on my backs, in this day and age, the surest way to tell someone to go blow themselves is just by smiling in their face and not participating in the madness (that took me a while to figure out even still).... I don't understand love and how it always seems to trample me under its kind words and hugs and kisses but i'm a slave to it nonetheless... i'll be direct with him (upon once again deciding to tell him..) and i'll watch his body language.... i think maybe it might make both of us feel better (to get it out in the open) or worse (for getting it out in the open)...but in either case there is some relief to be had...
maybe he was trying to investigate how deeply my feelings ran for him? maybe to investigate how i'd react? I'll definitely try to be more understanding (especially with the help of this site and maybe i'll give it time although i would prefer some type of answer/resolution before christmas...lol i mentioned movies to him (one movie in particular) and it opened up conversation although i wish he'd ask me if he does like me...
hmmm you know what i had a thought about the other day?
what if he was someone here on this website reading my posts... i'd be so embarrassed that i'd hope the earth would open and swallow me up whole! lol and i hadn't thought about that until now! lol... what if he was one of you?It's virtually criteria it's so common, it's even nicknamed the "Geek Syndrome"
09 Dec 2006, 10:00 am
caramel wrote:
Deus_ex_machina wrote:
(Promptly starts a fight with Tequila for Caramel's love)
lol i don't know why any of you would do that lol.... i'm a plain short, curly haired girl with caramel skin... why would anyone want that? lol i've seen some of the chicks on a thread on here and they are prettyyyy stunning...lol
You know you want it.
*Sings Witchcraft....*
"Those fingers in my hair
That sly come hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
Its witchcraft".
09 Dec 2006, 10:02 am
Come on caramel, you shouldn't be talking this way about yourself, it isn't true.
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