Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

An OKCupid message that about reduced me to tears.

Page 5 of 12 [ 182 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ... 12  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

MCalavera
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

12 Dec 2012, 9:58 pm

Ok, maybe she wasn't kind, I'll give you that. But she was definitely honest. She practically told him that she wouldn't find him attractive based on his profile (and based on the message he sent her).

Good. Now he doesn't have to worry about her leading him on or anything.



BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

12 Dec 2012, 11:05 pm

^^^ I agree, Manny. ;) She was honest. She wasn't softening the blow with BS but she wasn't RUDE either... I wouldn't be very offended by a comment like that. Sure my ego might take a little shot in the arm, but I'd be better in the long run for her honesty.

Take it as a good thing! ;)



Tyri0n
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)

13 Dec 2012, 4:10 am

Brianruns10 wrote:
So I wrote someone on OKCupid, sending this:

"I enjoyed reading your profile, and I noted how similar our interests our, with your journalistic and photographic pursuits, and my work in film and research. I love this site as much for the professional connections it offers, no?"

She replied thusly:

"I read your profile as well and honestly can say that our interests aren't very similar at all. Besides film and photography, which I suppose you could say correlate, I don't see anything else being compatible in the slightest. So I can't see myself putting down my "walls" for someone who I doubt I'll connect with"

I wrote back: "I'm sorry you feel that way, though I do wish you all the best in finding what it is you are searching for."

But really, I could weep. Why must this be so hard? Why do we people put ourselves and others through such misery, when what we all tend to want is so simple and fundamental. We all just want to connect. What is so wrong about that? Why are people the way that they are, and why do they treat others this way, who are only reaching out? I do not understand. I do not understand.


Amazing. It's hard to get most women to respond to messages at all on that site. So why would someone respond with something like that? Something about that is a little odd.



Last edited by Tyri0n on 13 Dec 2012, 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

13 Dec 2012, 6:10 am

BlueMax wrote:
^^^ I agree, Manny. ;) She was honest. She wasn't softening the blow with BS but she wasn't RUDE either... I wouldn't be very offended by a comment like that. Sure my ego might take a little shot in the arm, but I'd be better in the long run for her honesty.

Take it as a good thing! ;)


The point I am making is that Brian? shouldn't see himself as a person who has to desperately try and make himself good enough to be chosen by people like this woman - he should see himself as the chooser and rejecter himself as this is a far more empowering role to be in. That woman was seriously 'up herself' and in no way worthy of Brian anyway. This is the line you need to take with people - are they good enough for me? She most certainly wasn't. People seem to be blinded by looks, status and job title. I'm telling you that woman would have seriously done your head in - I can tell just from the small amount she's typed. She's the type that walks around thinking she's somethign special when nothing could be further from the truth - the media is full of people like this, in fact perhaps you need to be like this to even be in the media.



thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

13 Dec 2012, 9:33 am

An aspie who wants or needs online dating needs to be on as many sites as possible and messaging women all the time.



Geekonychus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,660

13 Dec 2012, 9:33 am

I don't really see what the issue is. Would you actually like to date someone like that?



JanuaryMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,359

13 Dec 2012, 10:43 am

I didn't see anything wrong with what the woman said to you, Brian.

Maye it was a "bait and burn", maybe she just didn't find you attractive or charismatic enough. Maybe she honestly didn't think you were her type and there genuinely was no real connection in interests. Either way, expect this from dating sites. Not everyone is into you, and not everyone on dating sites are actually looking for dates (taken, married, not ready, just curious, self esteem boost etc.). I'm on one for example just to see what kind of women check out my profile. I have no intentions of ever dating anybody.



thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

13 Dec 2012, 11:13 am

Exactly why you will see over and over here, it's a numbers game.



BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

13 Dec 2012, 1:21 pm

thewhitrbbit wrote:
Exactly why you will see over and over here, it's a numbers game.


This is why so many men will write ONE thoughtful, clever response... then copy & paste it to dozens or hundreds of girls... you almost HAVE to in order to find the needle in the haystack who will actually move forward instead of filtering out all but "Prince Charming".



MrXxx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,760
Location: New England

13 Dec 2012, 4:24 pm

I've cleaned this entire thread of off topic posts. If we could please keep replies on topic it would be greatly appreciated.


_________________
I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...


MacDragard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 542

13 Dec 2012, 6:29 pm

It's a numbers game, especially online. Don't think that just because you have stuff in common with a girl that she's going to be into you. Women aren't programmed that way; they react based on how people make them FEEL.

Not to discount the situation since it is definitely disappointing, but let's just say I've been through worse.



MariaMosum
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 45

13 Dec 2012, 6:49 pm

Sometimes, it is quite hard for us to move one on our past relationships especially if we are hurt badly. Yet life must go on and let your past be forgotten.



AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

13 Dec 2012, 9:17 pm

Fnord wrote:
It's called "Bait & Burn". You set up a profile that makes you seem accessible, and then slam anyone who responds to it.

Sorta like when some women wear sleazy outfits in public and call any man who even says "Hello" a creep.

They do it for their own sadistic self-gratification.
so in other words a ladys approach to trolling guys.


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

13 Dec 2012, 10:21 pm

BlueMax wrote:
thewhitrbbit wrote:
Exactly why you will see over and over here, it's a numbers game.


This is why so many men will write ONE thoughtful, clever response... then copy & paste it to dozens or hundreds of girls... you almost HAVE to in order to find the needle in the haystack who will actually move forward instead of filtering out all but "Prince Charming".
yup thts why i do it...it's a numbers game.


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


blunnet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,053

13 Dec 2012, 10:47 pm

Wow, I'm glad I'm not persuing relationships wether online or irl. *It sucks.* I have been there and I am 'cured' now.

Good luck with everything, but I'd say that being alone is not a bad thing, enjoy your freedom and your hobbies by yourself (without anyone getting in the way). And regarding the holidays, do you have friends to invite them over or something?



BlueMax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,285

13 Dec 2012, 11:23 pm

^^^ Yep. I loved being married... I never wanted to have to do this early-stage dating ever again!!

Oh well... I'm in no desperate rush. If something happens, fine. Otherwise, I have my toys to play with. :nerdy: