Aspie Burnout- how best to be supportive?

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Take your time.
I would focus on getting him out of the house so you don't have that constant reminder there all the time. You can't heal from something if it's there every time you turn around reminding you.
I understand - it would have been dealable with if he just told you about it straight up from the beginning.
Now is not really the time to worry about how you're affecting him - he caused it, so he can deal with it.
Keep the focus on yourself as much as possible. In times like this it's the small things that get you through.