are men chasing after small percent of single women

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Men die younger. A lot of single women are in their 60's and 70's though. Every man from 20 to 60 wants women in the age range of 20-28, so these women are very sought after. So the best place to target would be 28-38 if you want to avoid competition and still get good looks.

Not me though. I am too emotionally immature to be comfortable around older women.

This is all very amusing

So what happens when one of these men gets their perfect 10 woman home and the woman finds they have zero personality,
just the ability to drool whenever a 'hot' woman comes on TV

How long will the woman stick around?

These men are very immature

Exactly, that's why I go for women based on different factors including personality, attraction and creativity. Going for women based on just looks is a big no in my books, however looks are an important factor, there's nothing wrong with wanting a partner who puts as much effort into their physical appearance as you do.

Last edited by Wolfheart on 16 Apr 2013, 6:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

there are also more gay men than gay women.

This strikes me as an odd idea. Since the female body invests much more energy in producing offspring, females are the ones biologically motivated to be picky. A male can fertilize a large number of females in a short time; males are thus the expendable sex. What I don’t really understand is how a monogamous society can work. One would expect a few strong and successful males to hoard all the females for themselves, the rest either willingly accepting their lonely and sexually repressed fate (possibly being indoctrinated since childhood to do so, or never being allowed to see a female and not knowing they exist), or dying in the fight if they try to change the status quo.

You are right. Average for any single woman, there is also a single man. On internet dating plattforms you often have so much more men than women, because many women as myself have been disgusted, by the behaviour that is shown there. You simply feel, that there are a lots of men, who simply want to have "a woman" and act on these plattforms as if they were working at a 8:00-5:00 job with machines and they are simply trying which buttons are the right ones to press, so that the machine works and finally spits out the ordered "a woman".

There are also many men, that are simply in need for a status symbol. So the few female friends I have are geeky and have no boyfriends. So if they met someone they really like, they would be happy, because meeting someone special is a real nice thing. But they are not interested in simply "owning a man", so they dont run around acting crazy simply to get "a man" as fast as possible, because if they are not in love with someone, why should they be interested in wasting time to meet someone, they are not in love with? So they simply let it be and live their life, go for their hobbies and interests and if they meet a man that is nice, they will know and if they dont, there is nothing lost, because you cant loose something, that you never had anyway.

Instead I know a lots of boys, that pretend to be in search for "a girl" simply because of self esteem problems. So they make themselfs issues about their own worth because "....oh my god, I am now 23 and I never had a girlfriend and I never have been kissed, so this makes me a looser, because guys not being kissed at 23 are loosers...." Because of this they feel the intense need to get "a girlfriend" and dont realize that they are lowering their chances because noone wants to be someones girlfriends, because he needs "a girlfriend" so he thinks he can allow himself to feel better again, because of having "a worth" now.

This is as sexy as a woman that needs "a guy" because she hates to carry in her heavy shopping bags on her own. ^^ Normally these guys are simpler louder than the woman, thats why you get the impression, that there would be so much more man seeking a relationship. One of my female friends met her boyfriend two years ago, when she was 38. She always would have been happy to meet someone special, but as long as it didnt happen, it didnt happen. But in these 38 years she never wrote thousend of posts about why on hell woman like her dont get a boyfriend, and created threads about what was all so wrong about men and so on... If you didnt know her closely you wouldnt have known, that she would like to meet someone that enchants her, while lot of men are more open about that topic. This gives them the effect, as if there were more men seeking a relationship then woman. But as you said yourself, in western countries its about 1:1, so about every yelling guy focusing on getting a relationship, seems to match a silent women waiting until they will finally meet someone.

The thing is, as long as you are not in love, you dont have any advantages from being in a relationship. So someone you dont love wants to spend his time with you, someone you dont love wants to have sex with you, and someone you dont love is doing a mess in your kitchen you wouldnt have to tidy up. So simply having "a" relationship or "a" partner is no benefit. While many men seem to see a relationship as a kind of status symbol, so there might be major disadvantages, but they still think to have the advantage of having a relationship. Even if they dont have a further advantage from it.

I only can recommend to simply live your life but not to focus on having a relationship. If my female friend would have focused all her life on finding a partner then she would have lived 38 lonely years. So her years were full of friends and hobbies and interests she shared with others. So you should take care, that there are oppurtunities to meet new people, because if you meet noone, then there is no chance to meet a special person as well. But she simply did so, by going after her hobbies, so as example she was singing in a church group, was interested in folk dance and so on.

I find that reasoning quite funny. If you’re living in a situation which pretty much bars any chance of meeting new people, let alone of the opposite sex, about your age and not family members, since you’re not currently in love with anyone, it follows that you have no reason at all to try and make any change, especially if it would take a huge effort. Such an attempt would be only the vacuous pursuit of a—false—status symbol, and the more energy and time you spend on it, the more you confirm this is the case. In addition, you shouldn’t expect to achieve your goal anyway.

Obviously, heeding this advice also leads to being single for life, but it seems the right thing to do. The worst part is I actually think it’s right.

I dont know why meeting people shall always be linked with bars or any nonsense. You meet people at every occasion where other people are involved. I am 33 and live in the country with rather no bars, so in a radius of 30 km, there are 3 bars, one I visit sometimes because friends of me meet there, one I have never visited, and one I visited this weekend the first time because of a friend having a prewedding party. Go to a bar if you like to go to a bar. And if you dont like to go into a bar, then dont. But bars are not linked to meet other people. And if you dont like bars, i think its a rather bad place to go to meet people, because most people you meet there will like to go to bars, so thats one more hobby you dont share with others.

So I could join the local volleyballgroup, simply because I liked volleyball as a child (Even when I was horrible. ^^). I could join the group that is actual gathering money and organizing events for a public playgarden for kids. I could join folk dance, there are various singing groups. There are also groups for nordic walkers, for jogger, for hikers, or you can train with others for a local yearly bicycle race. My partner I met without purpose, not because I was in search for a partner, but simply because I was in search for a pen and paper roleplaygaming group. (You wouldnt think what hordes of stupid idiots write you pervert nonsense, if you dare to look for normal friends for roleplaying on the internet. -.-) I also met people at real life meetings from online games, you simply go there, have some fun, talk to other people about the hobby you share, and naturally you get to know which people are also from your area, if you like each other in a normal way and you share a hobby and you are from the same area, its pretty normal to meet again to talk about the hobby and so on. Not because you force to meet them again, but simply because the new patch is so big and so the one that still had ISDN always visited us for every greater WoW patch, so he could copy the patchfile on his zip-disc and so on.

Being a weird geek, doesnt mean that you are forced to meet noone nowhere, it simply meets that most people you will meet are weird geeks too. And thats nothing bad, because I have much more fun meeting a weird geek, with whom I can share hobbies and interests then an NT that wants to talk about cars or cloth, or some star I never heard of and so on. That why bars are so boring. Most people there are lame and you hardly find a interesting topic to talk about. ^^

You dont understand. You are still talking about "the" goal. I was simply searching for some friends for a pen and paper playgroup, not to acchieve a goal, but simply because its fun and I like to play pen and paper. This is no goal, this is simply thinking of what is fun for you and doing so to have fun. Stop terrorizing yourself with goals and have fun. By the way, people that are happy because having fun with their hobbies and interests, are much more sexy then people that focus all the time on their goals.

Uhm …

Who said anything about bars (as a noun)?

The point is, if you find relationships without looking for them, good for you, but if you’ve gone so far in life and that never happend, nor are there any signs it could possibly happen in the future, the only option if you want to have a chance is to actively do something in order to accomplish your goal—dang, I said it again! But, following your argument, you should never do that. Therefore, my conclusion stands, q.e.d.

In fact, I agree it’d only lower your chances even more.

I must be really ugly because I'm not getting any of that attention in real life and not on dating sites either.
And no, I dont have short hair and i am not overweight.

That is very odd, do you mind showing us a photo? or your profile?

I'm sure someone would find you attractive, maybe you just aren't appealing to the right type at the moment.

Some autistic people, including me, do not photograph well. I squint and look "high" because I have sensory issues relating to light. Others have a weird smile sometimes. Maybe you should practice in front of a mirror until you get your photos just right. This is something that did not work for me, but I think it can work for a weird smile.

Do you really consider 60 and 70 year old widows single? I kind of thought that when you got that old that it didn't count.

I found a stat online from the census bureau that 51.3% of males and 52.5% of females between the ages of 18 and 65 were married, but 73.1% of males and 40.8% of females above the age of 65 were married. So in the group probably most interested in dating, the odds are about even.

Um, well, thanks for the advice.

I don't know if you're right about not focusing on getting a relationship if you aren't already in love. I've never "naturally" fallen in love with anyone; it always required effort on my part. And as a guy, it's very unlikely that women are going to initiate any sort of interaction with me that could lead to romantic attraction. So if I want to fall in love with someone I have to try to start a relationship with girls I think are cute (or at least get to a point of friendliness where it is possible to probe for the possibility of a relationship). Also, I found from my last (and only) healthy relationship that my moods tend to be better and more stable when I am with somebody. I also adore cuddles and sex feels good. I think I was just designed to be in a relationship. Of course you're right about needing to focus on your own interests as well.

many older people are interested in dating. if you google something along the lines of "senior citizen women dating" you will see what i mean - it is not at all uncommon. the desire for companionship (among other things) does not necessarily fade.

More than that.......I bet there's almost as much hooking up going on at retirement communities as there is at your average co-ed dorm. Your sex drive doesn't just disappear completely when you get old, sometimes it even increases. STD rates are so hi amongst old people that there are now safe sex classes being taught in many communities.