we need single pride

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If you were single by choice you wouldn't be able to like anyone? I didn't know "like" was a synonym for "want to make babies with".

Here's the link to your post that I was referring to:

http://cdn.wrongplanet.net/postp5101757.html

I am amused you already forgot.

Not entirely correct. We, humans, have quite an advanced cortex that allows for reasoning to override instinct in many cases.

Do you ever come up with anything insightful?

^ true, but not when it comes to dating and sex.

When it comes to dating and sex, most humans are often 100% their ape-selves; it is still one of the few things that where instinct totally takes over.

I think people should have pride in themselves no matter what their relationship status is.

If you don't want to remain single then why have "single pride"? That gives all your potential dates the impression that you don't want a relationship and want to remain single, thus discouraging them from dating you.

Oh I still stand by that. It's funny, yesterday when you said "submissive" I immediately thought that you meant I should look for a quiet chap and ask him out and he would say yes because he would be so pleased that someone actually asked him. So I thought to myself, do I know anyone like that and couldn't think of anyone. A quiet guy could still be responsible, so it's not like I look at a man and think he's too quiet, I won't bother.

I'm not looking for a concubine by the way, I'm looking for a partner in life.

Anyway, this is all hypothetical, I have never met a guy and said "oh he's too submissive this won't work." In actuallity the real problem is that I'm not the world's greatest conversationalist (I'm not even mediocre, I'm just useless at it). I need to have a reason to talk to someone or I just go up to them exchange greetings and then get stuck, awkward silence, then excuse myself.

I am the flipside of alot of men here. I think: there are all these good looking, normal women in my sort of social group/area/place I live, why would the guy I'm talking to like awkward me. For example, someone has just got back in touch with me and I liked him a few years back, but he's a friendly soul and I can never work out whether any of the women I see him with or who are in his Facebook photos is his girlfriend because I think why would someone that nice be single? And if he knows all these women he can have anyone he wants, it's not like he's socially inept like me, why would he want me? Anyway, after this conversation we've been having I think I'm going to make more of an effort to find out, so then at least I can say I tried, rather than assuming he's taken.

That's probably why I find dating extroverts easier most of the times: They do most of the talk , they do most of the plans and they always have something to talk about. And if I start talking with something, they continue it.

Have you ever tried asking a man on a date? He doesn't have to be "passive", just someone that you like. You know, there's no law against women taking the initiative. If you don't know if someone has a girlfriend, you can simply ask him.

Last edited by Jono on 22 May 2013, 7:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

i do not have the emotional capacity to experience "pride" (or "shame" (it's opposite)).
i have thought a lot about what "pride" is however. it is very hard for me to fathom. people can be proud of themselves for whatever reason, and that to me means that they approve of their station in life. whether it be earned or accidental.

sometimes i see news stories about "hero's" that performed some menial act that saved the life of someone, and when i see them speak in the inevitable interviews, many of them start to sort of cry or something when they recount their actions. i do not understand their tears, or the reasons why they get choked up when they are simply recounting what they did.

it is like they are so desperate to be hoisted high on the shoulders of public approval, that when they actually are celebrated for their generic responses to situations they were accidentally in the vicinity of, they relate the sequence of events with a kind of hmmm....faked humility, and they play down their efforts while getting teary eyed and it seems to me that they try to act the part of the "oblivious hero" , but their cover is blown by the fact that they start often to cry in admiration of them selves, and mask it as crying for the plight of "the rescued old lady who suffered no harm" or whatever else.

"pride" is baggage i am glad i am not toting.

Are you sure of that? In the "Dating Laws in Women's minds" book there might be an obvious constitutional law that says: "Women must not ask out men".


And oh, I think there's a law in Saudi Arabia that prevents women to initiate anything.

I can. And that was insulting. If you want me to be insightful, then give me an issue with more depth than this, because I find it pretty cut and dry; why should humans consider themselves so much greater than other animals when it comes to instincts? Or even certain individuals thinking that they couldn't possibly be as biased as everyone else. That is self-serving bias, the human tendency to portray information in a way that makes us look good and others look bad (so, a person being told the statistics on shallowness will believe them, but will count themselves in the minority that isn't shallow, regardless as to whether or not it is actually true).

It is a very clear well-established fact that humans are able to use reasoning to override their animal instincts.

^ Certain judgments are still influenced by instinctual tendencies. Racism partially stems from the fact that our brains (beginning around age 5) fire fear and anger signals in response to people who do not look like us (people of different races). This isn't consciously controlled, and while people can attempt to be unbiased based on race, etc., studies show that the influence is still there, no matter how much people try.

Now you're changing the topic. You were arguing just a while ago that we weren't different from animals much in terms of overriding our instincts via reasoning.